Lovey

I was friends with "Dana and Chuck" for about 7 years. Saw them fall in love, marry, have three children and divorce. It turns out that Dana's time in the foster care system had done a number on her. It slowly dawned on Chuck (and slower on me) that she was an adulterous chameleon. She cheated MANY times with ANYONE, had a child outside of their marriage, lied daily, taught her children to lie, and would basically blend in with ANYONE she was around no matter how she felt about them. She was a mess. Chuck and I were shocked to realize that we didn't know her at all because she has an amazing ability to behave in any way that is conducive to getting what she wants. After they split, she had a parade of boyfriends she referred to as "daddy" when speaking to the kids, continued to lie about numerous things, had some legal problems, neglected the children, and put them in dangerous situations. It was all very difficult to watch- even as a friend. Eventually, I had to stop spending time with Dana, but continued my friendship with Chuck.

Chuck has custody of the youngest child- the only one who is biologically his. He's a sensitive, artistic, funny, and intelligent man who is from an alcoholic and abusive home. He has a new girlfriend, "Sadie." Sadie is a good woman with a good head on her shoulders. She really loves Chuck and his child. She's been a mother to his child for three years now. In the past 9 months, Chuck has beaten Sadie twice. Once, he forced her into the vehicle, took her into the country and kicked her repeatedly. He also threatened to drive off a bridge with her and used an awful lot of force to keep her in the vehicle. Another time, he's body slammed her and beat her. I've NEVER KNOWN him to be abusive and I've been good friends with him for 10 years now (7years with his wife, three years with Sadie.) Still, I'm not shocked hearing this today. He's still very angry at Dana, but doesn't deal with it. Instead, he just refuses to talk about her. In the heat of the moment, he told Sadie to leave, and when she packed her things, Chuck's child packed also, saying "I'm going with Mommy." Chuck threatened that if Sadie took the child, he'd have her charged with kidnapping. He promised both times to get help, but has sense refused and becomes very angry when it's brought up.

Sadie is stuck in between a rock and a hard place. The child already has abandonment issues because of Dana. Sadie has been a real mother to this child. A lawyer has told Sadie she has absolutely no parental rights. Sadie has no income and is a stay at home mother. Chuck has been isolating her lately, and she doesn't have much access to a car. She loves Chuck and doesn't want to hurt him, but she wants to leave. What is the best thing for her to do? What is the best thing for Chuck? If Sadie leaves and turns him in, the child will go to Dana- which is a really bad place for a child. Of course, an abusive home is a really bad place too. I told Sadie to organize an intervention for Chuck asking him to get help; naming consequences if he refuses, but offering support if he accepts. Other than that, I'm at a loss and so is Sadie. I love them all. I'm usually cut and dry about an abuser wanting the abused to leave and the abuser to suffer consequences, but this situation is sticky. Finally, I see the abuser as a real person who is actually good. I used to think that sounded ridiculous when others would say it, but I've known him for a third of my life and he IS good. Help.

I own my home and share the driveway. My neighbors' housekeeper blocks me in my driveway. Her hubcaps were stolen, so she wants to have her car close. I've asked her nicely to move her car and she immediately became hostile. We ended up having a verbal altercation. Since then, I've had to ask my neighbor's second housekeeper to move her car also. My neighbor doesn't seem to care to make them park in the street. The first girl- with whom I've had the altercation with- has started doing it again and right in front of me. I'm not going to ask again. It's time she faces some consequences. What do I do?

Can you understand the lyrics? I can only pick out a few words but the rest are jumbled. Everyone else there seems to understand and respond accordingly, though. How about you?

I've been on 3 dates with a guy who supposedly liked me for awhile. I finally discovered recently that I liked him too and it's been growing for awhile in the back of my mind. I noticed he never asks me anything about myself. I've mentioned this more than once. He'll temporarily correct it, then... nothing. He's really comfortable going into detail when I ask him something. He's fine telling me about himself. I talk about myself too, then realize that he didn't ask. Tonight I purposefully didn't talk much, waiting, and waiting... nothing. I don't understand. He seems happy to be dating me. He's even told his friends and our mutual friends. I've heard that he's very pleased. He doesn't have much experience dating or with women and I wonder if he's just excited to have a lady who likes him, rather than ME. He honestly doesn't give a doggone about getting to know ME. What would you do? What do you think? Help.

I found out that a friendly acquaintance of mine died. He was a gentle man. Cool and young. We chatted almost every time we saw each other and a few times recently on Facebook. I have a piece of his art in my house and heard that his sister wants it. I still owe him $20 for it (for years now and I've brought it up to him several times jokingly.) It's worth much more. It stands over 5'. One night, I saw some ply wood laying around and brought it to him with some red spray paint and asked if he'd paint it, then draw on it. He did and liked it so much, he started using boards for his art. A few years ago, he was starting to make a name for himself. He once told me that his sister dated my ex-boyfriend (which I didn't realize) for awhile and hated me (which I also didn't realize. I barely remember her and of course she was only hearing about me through the ex-boyfriend.) He seemed distant from that situation and from her, if I'm remembering correctly, however she's his sister and I'm simply his friendly acquaintance (not even friends). I really like the piece, but she's his sister! My mother thinks I should keep it to because we were friendly, and said he would've given her something if he wanted her to have his art. What do you think?

My uncle has been a drug addict since before I was born. He's been in an out of jail and prison. Sometimes he does well, sometimes he does very poorly. When he's doing poorly, he sells his belongings, including the gifts we give him. He's even sold his phone that was given to him to stay in contact with us. We never give him money and have to watch him around our stuff. If he's hungry, we simply buy him food, knowing he may sell it. Honestly, he's not really into anything. He doesn't usually groom himself and doesn't care AT ALL what kind of clothes he has. He's a new grandfather and seems most interested in that and also has interest in a church he's been attending (when he's doing well). I know this sounds pretty bad, but in the past 3 years or so, he's actually participated in the holidays with us and has even GIVEN gifts! What should I get him?

I just started getting work and have yet to be cast in anything more than local commercials and extra work. My friend owns a vintage store. She and an acquaintance of ours from a local production company contacted me to appear in a commercial for it. My friend wants me to be Cleopatra, and I liked her ideas. It sounded fun. The other day, I went to get fitted and my friend put together this ABSOLUTELY TRASHY costume. It looks like a cracked out pimp dressed for a really bad Parliament cover band. Awful. It's not even ironic or funny. I didn't realize I held Cleopatra in high regard, but this seems disrespectful. When I think of her, I think of a majestic, beautiful, elegant, powerful and intelligent woman (who was also selfish, crazy, evil and never got a man to commit to her). She was the last Pharaoh for crying out loud! I doubt anyone is even going to recognize me as Cleopatra in this hot mess! I'm embarrassed and frankly, am tempted to hire a seamstress! My friend only wants to advertise costumes that are available in her shop which makes sense- the commercial should represent what she actually has available. Seriously, she shouldn't try to dress people as characters that she doesn't have the wardrobe for in the first place. It may be a decent trade off if I have a more accurate costume made, then DONATE it to my friend's store. That way, someone could actually rent it! I'm not the only person in the commercial and will probably only be on screen for a few seconds, but this is nagging at me. What would you do?

Also, I've worked with this production company three times. The second time I got messed over. They were once rude about giving, then not giving me a part. I get the feeling I should learn the art of taking care of myself among them without being an a**. So would you hire a seamstress (money out of your pocket), try to re-negotiate the outfit or shut up and deal?

I'm getting older and starting to contemplate marriage/family, although I'm not dating now. I feel I'm preparing myself. I feel like it's just around the corner. No one has been able to describe to me that "knowing" they had when they realized that the person they'd encountered was meant to be their partner. How did you know? Details.

I seldom hang out with a friend of a friend who I'll call "Landon." He's nice but has low self-esteem, always puts himself down and tells way too much of his business. He's not attractive to me, but is sweet and would make someone a nice, gentle man one day. The other day I posted a music video on Facebook. Landon responded "Not very impressed :p." I commented back "I like you, Landon." I just now got a message from him titled "I like you, too" in which he describes how I'm all these positive things, while he's all these negative things and why he isn't enough for me. He goes on to say he shouldn't judge what would make me happy. He ends with wanting to go for a walk to talk soon. Oh my. I absolutely did not mean I was romantically interested in him and certainly wouldn't confess in a public comment if I was. This guy is very sensitive and self conscious and I want to handle him gently, but make the nature of our relationship clear. What would you suggest?

I feel I have to tell someone about this. I've worked my tail off on several local productions as a production assistant. I didn't learn as much over the years as I'd hoped and wasn't moving up the ladder at all. I live in a small city and all film professionals know each other. They really didn't see me as anything but a P.A. I decided to try my hand in front of the camera. One of the many reasons I quit training for theatre was a fear of auditioning. Because we all know each other, I was easily hired for a local commercial by a girl "Kris," I've worked with on another project. That went smoothly and she encouraged me to audition for a film she was working on. I got my first head shot, my first little humble acting resume and did my first audition! I was so proud of myself for facing it. I felt I did well. The director and camera chick started nodding, like they were getting into it. When I was through, the director said I was "definitely in." I waited for my instructions. Weeks went by and it was getting closer for the first production day. I saw the director and "Kris" at a bar. He seemed uncomfortable. I told Kris I'd like to know what part I got. She actually took a step back and referred me to the director. Uh oh. I just couldn't ask him in a bar. I waited another week and sent him an email. I reminded him that I was told I had a part, said I'd been waiting, that I felt it was inappropriate to ask him about it in a bar, that I think it's inappropriate that I contact him now, but if he'd changed his mind, I'd like to know. Kris contacted me shortly and apologized for not following up with me, told me I didn't have a speaking part, but could come by set that night to be an extra. I decided to be positive and told her I'd love to. On set, neither she or the director seemed apologetic for giving then taking away my opportunity, although he thanked me multiple times for coming. Both were a bit rude to my surprise. I was partnered with this sweet girl for the night. We mimed conversation in the background. When the assistant director spoke to us, she refused to look at me and would only address the girl. I worked for a sandwich and chips from 11 P.M. to about 5 A.M. and withheld my feelings until I was released so that I wouldn't make a goof of myself. I felt they were rude to me AFTER being rude to me! What logic is that? Now, I've worked (inconsistently) for years on small budget local productions. Am I being whiny? Am I supposed to suck it up and just be thankful I was allowed on set? If I hadn't contacted them, I wouldn't have had that chance AFTER being told I was in. I can't really discuss this with anyone in the know. When I was a slighted as a child, I'd vow to become more successful than those who slighted me and I feel the same way now. LOL My feelings are hurt.

More than a year ago, an older couple (50's) rented the house next to mine. When they introduced themselves, the man leered at me, so avoid him. The woman became increasingly odd over time. First, I noticed that a lawn decoration of mine was on their porch. I went in to ask about it and she said she "didn't know whose it was." We have a shared driveway and that was the first of several things they've taken from that side of my house and left in PLAIN VIEW in their yard! I approach them each time they take from me and thought that perhaps it was a joke to get me to talk to them. They give my things back and of course, I don't leave anything in my yard now.

I've also noticed that she's often bloody. She'll approach me with blood in her mouth and on her arms. I've asked her if she needed help and she told me she had just eaten cinnamon candy. I pointed out bloody spots on her arms and she just rubbed it in. Later, she hinted that they used to have terrible fights. Once as I was about to pull out of the drive, I saw her in a red negligee carrying a bucket in each hand. She slipped and fell so I got out to help her and she was bloody then too. She is always staggering. It may be due to a back injury...

For a while, she'd ask me to have a garage sale, a garden, a lounge area with her and would ask me over for coffee. One day I decided to came over for coffee after seeing how thankful she was for a frog ceramic I gave her because I was cleaning out my home and had never really found a place for a frog wizard complete with purple hat. I knew she liked frogs. She talked my ear off. She never wants to let me go when we talk. She has odd mannerisms and seems to have chaotic energy. She also gets very defensive easily and can't keep up with her own conversation. She confessed to becoming a drug addict after being in a car accident that left her with a slipped disk. She apparently had ran out of pain killers and asked her friend to bring her something to ease her suffering. Her friend brought her crack (!!!!!!) and according to her, that led her to loose her job as a social worker, her home, her car etc. Her husband started doing it with her. Obviously this has damaged her brain. I then decided that I didn't want to have much to do with them and that it wasn't a good idea for them to know much about me. She hasn't let me go since that day!

She accosts me about every third time I come or go. Last night I pulled in and the doggone "Neverending Story" came on the radio, so I stayed in my car and ROCKED! She came out and peeked at me in my car! She comes out of her home every time I'm outside and starts many conversations. She's always at my door. One day, she knocked on my door 4 times in just a few hours time. I dread coming home or leaving! She runs after me yelling "Hello! Hello! Hello!" and that's the end of my peace. She never wants anything, but finds another subject to keep me before her. I've tried telling her I don't have time, or that I must go, or making my answers short. I understand she may want or NEED a friend, especially if she's being hurt at home, but don't think it's wise for me to befriend her. She's insane and says nutty stuff to me while nodding her head quickly to the side, bugging her eyes and fluttering her arms about. She has a nervous laugh, staggers like I said, and her eyes are always shifting around my home and every move I make. I become paranoid that she'll steal for me during a relapse. Their dogs are mangy and are allowed to run around the neighborhood. They bark at everyone and chase them. They behave as if they they were raised by crazy folk. I feel bad for them, but want to avoid them also. I own my home and told myself they'll just move in a year, but apparently they signed on for another. Bad blood between neighbors is something I thought I could easily avoid, but she's providing me with a challenge. How do I sternly stop this woman from always desperately wanting my attention?

Details in my previous question. How do I report this? If this guy is serious, how do we help?

My friend left his myspace page open on my computer and I snooped for no good reason. He had a message in the trash from someone who wasn't his friend asking if he was interested in little boys. I called the police, who came over and took information. They'll be contacting him soon and of course, I hope he's an innocent bystander. How do I break the news to him of what I did? Seriously, I can usually answer questions for myself, but am quite apprehensive. Help.