mags628

I am a senior citizen who has recently started dating after many, many years of not being in a relationship. My gentleman friend is wonderful. He is considerate, kind, gentle, affectionate, and obviously eager to spend time with me. He also is something of a control freak when it comes to his environment and things are supposed to be "just so". Our relationship has not fit into his little box of what he thinks he wanted from a relationship, and he admits his own feelings scare and confuse him. It's like he has decided that, no matter how good things are, he will NOT be in love. We have already agreed on no marriage, no mutual living arrangements at this time, etc., and that's okay right now. However, I am ready to wholeheartedly enter into this relationship, especially since it may be the last one either of us has. My question is should I get out of this (much as it would hurt right now) or give it more time? We have talked about being together long-range as a couple, but the walls he puts up make me insecure, and I know myself well enough to know that if he puts up enough walls, I will lose the unbridled joy I have felt with him, lose interest in sex, and wonder if he'll dump me if something better looking comes along. Past experience has been that if you have sex with a man, all future for the relationship dies, but if you don't, he'll move on anyway. So, in my view, I'm out no matter what I do. Help....

In 1999, I purchased a mobile home. The cost originally was about $54,000. I paid faithfully on my loan until May of 2007 when I gave the property up for foreclosure. Basically, I paid close to $45,000 into my loan. I got a notice many months after the foreclosure that they had sold the house for $13,000, and, low-and-behold, that was the EXACT amount that was needed to make repairs on the house. Since then I have been notified several times that I still owe $43,000 on this loan. Now, correct me if I'm wrong. If I let a car be repossessed, the bank would resell it and hold me accountable for any amount I owed above the sale price. What's the deal with the house thing? They got the house back, and it was not my decision to sell it for only $13,000. I'm being threatened with a lawsuit, but I feel this is ridiculous. If I could have continued to pay on the house, I would have after doing it for 8 years! There is no way I could pay a judgment now! Help.....

Mags

When our cat is in heat, she will NOT leave our feet alone. She tears them up! I realize that she is miserable, and we want to have her fixed as soon as we can afford to, but she's making enemies. She tears the tops and heels of my feet with her claws. The only way we can get her to stop is to put her in a room by herself, and then she howls constantly. Please help.

I am 56, and I suffer from Major Depressive Disorder anyway. The "normal" physical changes that go along with being post-menopausal are making me even more depressed. I have no money for cosmetic surgery, etc., so I was wondering if anyone knew of a therapy for older women that can help them accept themselves instead of seeing themselves as just gross and unfeminine.

That people with BPD are ALWAYS labelled as bad people? I am a loving, generous, non-abusive, non-manipulative person who gives attention rather than seeking a lot, who nurtures others and is not particularly narcissidtic, and I definitely have BPD. We are NOT all monsters and the stereotype is wearing thin. Oh, also, I don't have angry outbursts, OR short term relationships (had one lasted 12 years), kept same job for 26 years. PLEASE- open your minds. People with BPD ARE victims. Some of them HAVE victims as well, but not all of us. Check out the issues of people who have BPD who also had mothers with BPD. You'll find a whole new set of expressions of the disorder.