PATRIOTS

a nice con eversation with her wife diana

peter: you are ugly and and preety both at the same time

diana: how can that be?

she should have seen this coming

peter: well, you are preety ugly

get it "preety ugly".....

its funny every time i hear it....

i need a firewire that connects my acer aspire 3000 to my camera from jvc....and i lookup some firewire but i was wondering if i need a firewire with 4 pin male to usb or 4 pin male to 6 pin.....and is there such thing as 4 pin to usb??? plz help

There was a blonde, and a red head,

There was this cliff, and the legend was that if you jumped off the cliff and yelled something you would land in what you yelled. Sooooo...

When the blonde jumped off, she yelled "Gold" and landed in a huge pile of gold coins.

When the red head jumped off she yelled "money!" and she landed in a heaping pile of money.

When the brunette jumped off, she stubbed her toe right before she jumped off and responded to the pain by yelling "sh*t!'.

Guess what she landed in...

what is the coollest thing in the world

There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger and neither

Pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in

England, French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted.

But if we examine its paradoxes we find that

Quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are

square and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it

a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.

If the plural of tooth is teeth,

shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth.

If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher

praught. If a vegetarian eats vegetables,

what the heck does a humanitarian eat!?

Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital? Park

on driveways and drive on parkways.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language

where a house can burn up as it burns down and in which

you fill in a form by filling it out. And a bell

is only heard once it goes!

Would you ever do any of these?

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15 Things to do at Walmart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell them "Code 3 in Housewares" and see what they do.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

Son: Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?

Father: Sure, son. What's the question?

Son: What is politics?

Father: Well, let's take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me “Tony Blair.” Your mother is the administrator of money, so we'll call her “Gordon Brown.” We take care of your needs, so we'll call you “the People.” We'll call the maid “the Working Class,” and your baby brother we can call “the Future.” Do you understand, son?

Son: I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it.

little jonny comes to school with a big wrist watch in his hand and shows it to his friend bill.

bill: how did u get ur dads watch?

little jonny: its simple... yesterday when i was sleeping a noise came from my parents room. i went in and looked and my dad was on top of my mom and they both were screeming. my dad said u can have anything u want if u dont tell any1. so i said i want a watch. so he game me his watch.

bill: cool, i want a watch

next day at school little jonny asked bill where was his watch.

bill: yesterday at night i went in my parents room and my dad said u can have anything as long as you dont tell any1.

i said i want 2 watch. he told me i could stand in the corner and as lond as i dont make any noise...............

26y + 2x = 180 and 21y + 3x = 180, then what is x and y in both of them???

k i want 2 find out: if quadrilateral always be inscribed in a circle.?????

square

parallelogram

rhombus

what is the best car in the world