Charlie

I love to eat. I even gained a few pounds since starting college (I really like the cafeteria food) but now I don't know when I'm hungry or thirsty anymore, until I get dehydrated and feeling sick! Its only then that I realize that I have not eaten anything or drank any water in a long time! It would be nice if, yknow, my body would TELL me when I need to eat or drink by giving me feelings of hunger and thirst, but those feelings don't come when they should, so I keep going about my day until I feel sick, weak, and dehydrated. Also, when I do end up realizing what I forgot to do, I don't feel like doing it!

When I'm at the cafeteria, I eat plenty. Or when I go to my parents house and my aunt cooks, I eat a lot too. But when I'm just at home in my dorm or around campus or something, I stop eating.

When I'm eating, I wanna keep eating on and on. When I'm not eating, I don't remember when I need to start. Same with water. And now even though I love to eat and drink cold water, I wish I didn't have to, because the consequences of forgetting hurt, a lot. I start feeling really hot and tired and my stomach hurts but I can't tell if it means I'm hungry or full or something else entirely. I'd rather just lie in bed all day and never have to eat or drink or do anything. Sometimes I feel like I can't take care of myself. I don't know what to do. I feel really sick. I'm trying to drink right now and I ate at noon. I don't feel well at all, and this keeps happening. Any ideas?

Here's what I think: there's no such thing, people put too much trust in their perceptions of the world that they forget that their eyes and ears can deceive them. There's a lot of reasons why people think they see things, or why they'd believe that stuff in the first place. Also, when someone is scared, they're more inclined to believe things that are unlikely, which is why people get so spooked by certain television shows and movies...

And here's what my boyfriend thinks: ghosts and demons are unlikely but they COULD be real and he thinks some have gone near him and it scares him...

Okay, so I know you all have some very interesting opinions about whether ghosts and demons are real or not, but the point is, he's my man and I'm his girl, and we protect each other :) And while I know there is no danger, it doesn't matter, because he thinks they could be real, so the danger feels real to him. I want to help him. I want to protect him from the precised danger, even though I know its not real. So, I have a few questions...

How do I protect someone from demons and ghosts (I can't believe, but I can suspend my disbelief to do what I can to help) I'm not with him in person because we live a few hours away...

How do I show him the truth without being mean or insensitive? I want to protect him, not tell him he's got everything wrong. Also, I am willing to suspend my disbelief to help, but I don't want to feed the delusion either. How can I help him with this?

I know this isn't too uncommon but hear me out. Its really bothering me because I get really upset just thinking about some things. I tried googling this and someone was talking about wanting to buy cheap toys no one wants, and I just felt like crying. I just want to go to Goodwill and buy a ton of stuffed animals, but the thought of having to reject the other animals... I just want to avoid Goodwill altogether... but the thought of turning away from something just because its hard to deal with, it reminds me of animal suffering, how its easy to pretend its not happening for some people, but you can't just let someone suffer and ignore them! They're all alone and the skin is being pulled off them while they're alive, and they're being cut open and hit and burned.... all while alive. Maybe some of the emotions about that are getting projected into inanimate objects? But here's the thing... I understand being attached to a stuffed animal... that's normal; but crying over balloons and tissues? That sort of thing is just too far. It happens to me while I'm already kind of upset about something, but then just thinking about the tissue that's going to just get thrown out, and the balloons that slowly die until they get stabbed and thrown out, just like that. I'm a very logical person for the most part, and I usually make decisions based on reasoning and not emotion, but its times like these where the emotion just takes over and I get really upset when I know I shouldn't.

I feel like crying just thinking about a stuffed animal banana I had when I was a small child. I was playing with my toys with my father and brother and my father pretended to eat the banana (which by the way had the most adorable fuzzy little face) and my brother, who was just a tiny kid, thought it was pretty funny, but I just got upset that he tried to eat my banana. Just thinking about that banana makes me upset. I really really miss my banana and oh gods I'm crying now... the banana was so adorable and it had a peel with zippers so you could zip it up and unzip it to 'peel' it and then underneath the peels was the cute fuzzy banana with a cute little face, it looked so happy and innocent and vulnerable, oh gods

and I don't know where it is or what happened to it and I miss it so much and I don't think it could be in a better place because people don't feel that way about toys...and I know its an inanimate object but just thinking about the banana is upsetting for me and its really hard for me right now to be crying over a toy I had a very long time ago and tissues and balloons. I already suffer from depression and this whole thing is so emotionally exhausting, does anyone know how to get better from this? Is there something wrong with me? I'm nineteen, and in college. I have a lot of **** to do and I'm pretty stressed about it because being depressed is making me fall behind and I really can't be crying over this stuff. Its terrible. I get very upset, like a loved one died, and that is not a feeling I want to happen all the time because of some old balloons, yknow?

I am in my residence hall's hall council at my college, and I'm currently on a committee to organize a sports event for our hall each saturday. The game changes each week, and posters are put up letting the residents know where to meet up if they'd like to play, and what game will be played that day.

Me and another girl are co-representatives for a group of girls in our residence halls, and when letting the girls know of the weekly sports activity they might like to take part of, they said something like this, "Yeah, but It'll probably just be mostly guys." and it sounded like they didn't want to participate for that reason. My co-rep assured them she would be there, and I reminded them that the activity was gender neutral, for all of the residents to enjoy regardless of gender.

However, their voices do matter and it is my job to make sure they are heard. The weekly sports game is optional and just for fun, but it is NOT meant to be exclusive based on gender, and the truth is that many females feel excluded.

In my opinion, I think its sexist because, so what if its mostly guys playing? It sounds to me like they're sexist against males. I notice this behavior among a lot of females I meet. As an engineer major, I'm one of the few girls in classes full of men, but it makes no difference, we are all there to learn, not segregate genders. I chose to be an engineer because that is what I truly wanted. I want the girls in the residence halls to feel the same way about the hall sports: they should come play if they want to! It shouldn't matter if there's a lot of guys.

Unfortunately, a lot of girls don't see it that way. The easy fix would be to market more towards females, perhaps put girls on the next poster. But it feels kind of wrong to just do that. I don't want to tell people that girls are coming to play just so more girls will come. I want to tell them that anyone can come and that they should come if they want to and not worry so much about what's in everyone else's pants. Its just basketball, soccer, frisbee, football, etc. We're not comparing dick sizes here. We're playing a game that anyone can play, and I want to help the girls feel like they can do anything, even if not a lot of girls are doing it.

It seems like the problem is the girls feel trapped in gender roles and I don't think they ever thought about stepping out, and just assumed their whole lives that they have to be and act a certain way because of their gender. How could I help them learn to be themselves regardless of their gender? It would be nice if everyone felt included and didn't try to hold themselves back from doing things because they think its a boys activity. They are in college and it is a great time for them to learn more about themselves, what can I do to help them and let them know they can play sports with boys and do other things like that?

I'm nineteen so by now I should be more emotionally mature, yet I find myself dealing with certain things like a young child. For example, trying to get my parent's attention by acting out when I feel like they're not listening to me and favoring my siblings. I am a very logical person usually and I fully know the consequences of acting out, but I do it anyway, even if I know it will start fights and make things worse for me and everyone else. In fact, I get some enjoyment out of starting fights and making my family get pissed at one another. I know part of me feels sad and upset at myself, but I can't help but laugh and feel like I got my way.

Here's the thing: about six years ago, against my will, my parents made a medical decision for me and what happened was permanent and apparently there was no other way except maybe death which I disagree with, because there are definitely other ways, and anyway, if there wasn't, I'd prefer death! And my parents want me to let it go because its in the past, but how can I let this go? I feel the physical discomfort everyday that reminds me of it. I have been cut open against my will and permanently altered in ways that depress me every time I think about it. I don't want to go on anymore like this.

Now, what I'm saying is very serious. I am not contemplating suicide, but I REALLY am upset by the fact that I am alive and that there is no way out (except suicide but I can't do that). I don't want to go on. Which is a problem because I'm in college and I HAVE to keep going to get decent grades, graduate, and get a job. My parents are supporting me financially at the moment but next year I'll have to do things on my own. And my parents want me to do well and they keep pushing me to do things I should... but I don't want to do things! I don't want to be here!

They know I'm depressed; I take meds for it. But they don't seem to understand what's going on right now. Perhaps they don't take me seriously? My mother has threatened to kill me many times and it sure sounded like she meant it, but apparently she didn't.... so I guess they're used to hearing such serious things and brushing it aside. But when I say I hate the fact that I have a future, I'm not just saying it! I mean it!

This ties in to what I was saying in the beginning about my childlike behaviour. I'm trying to tell them something serious and I don't think they're listening. I've gotten frustrated after trying over and over to explain it to them like a rational young adult, and nothing works. I have become desperate, leading me to act out, trying to get their attention. This is a problem because I cannot go on acting this way. What can I do about this? I have a therapist I see weekly, might there be something I can tell her so she would know how to help me? If she is to help me, I'd have to be kind of specific with her or else she might divert the conversation to an easier topic to deal with.

When I was really little I had dust allergies so my parents removed my fluffy stuffed animals from my room and I got better. I don't even remember it but I know it wasn't a huge deal. Now I'm nineteen. A few years ago, I started coughing a lot and my parents forced me to go to the doctor thinking it was pneumonia (even though I told them it wasn't) and he said it was just autumn allergies. Like, mold. Well, whenever I had to walk to school in the cold, I'd start coughing a lot and it got really bad at some points but usually I tried staying indoors and I was fine. Until this year. My allergies started as usual, but now when I start coughing, it gets hard to breathe and then I'll burp and try to swallow and those four things keep happening all at once and then I'll be fine until the next time it happens. It happens at night too, making it hard to sleep. I even puked a few times.

So, is this still just my allergies? Because usually my allergies don't cause me to burp or puke. I know coughing and trouble breathing are normal symptoms of allergies, but what about the rest? Could it be something else? Other than that, I'm pretty healthy. I don't get sick often at all.

I support gay rights and the LGBTQ+ commnity, I know that's pretty vague but you know what I'm talking about.... Also I recently figured out I'm bi (I previously thought I was 97% straight). It took a few days to get used to but now I'm kinda glad I'm bi :)

Anyway, there's this guy, and he said he isn't homophobic but you can tell he kinda is by the way he talks about things. For example:

1. he things guys kissing in public is gross

2. he says all girls are attracted to other girls, and that I'm probably just straight even though I said I like guys AND girls and clearly stated multiple times that I AM bisexual

3. He said he really wants a son, and that he wouldn't be happy at all if his son was gay. And that no one really wants their kids to be gay (honestly don't people just want their kids to be happy and comfortable with their sexuality?)

4. He says its okay for people to be gay, just not around him

So I'm glad he at least doesn't REALLY hate gays, but still, I fully support the LGBTQ+ community and I'm actually the B in LGBTQ+ now, so should I really go out with him? I'm not being judgmental against homophobes, and I'd totally be friends with him, but I don't know about dating. Homophobia is kind of a huge turn off.

We kinda sorta liked each other and so we might start dating but how I'm not sure. If I ended up with him and we had kids, i just COULDN'T have him treat any of them differently for their sexuality. Plus, he kinda has their lives planned out with not much room for their own personalities and hobbies.

However, my question isn't whether I should marry him, its whether I should date him. I'm still young (18) and I still have plenty of time to explore and be with different people to learn a bit and find out who would be a good match for me, and who I would be a good match for. I kinda like this guy except for the homophobia stuff and how he planned out his future kids' lives out with too much detail (you can't control your kids' hobbies once they're at a certain age, haha, they're people too and need their freedoms).

Also, I have some LGBTQ+ friends, and they are good people; I love them. I can't go out with a guy who treats my friends bad. I don't know if this guy will or not, but I'm still a bit worried because there was an incident once where my friends said some really mean stuff to a guy I was with and he broke up with me. They also called one of my friends names behind his back and he still doesn't know and thinks they're nice sweet people. I just don't want to be around people anymore who would say those sorts of things to or about my friends. If someone doesn't like my friends, THAT is fine, but judging them or disliking them based on sexuality or being impolite for those reasons is NOT okay. I don't know how this guy will react to my LGBTQ+ friends so I won't assume the worst, because that would be unfair. I just am worried because of that one previous incident, when I realized you can't always trust your friends and you should be a little cautious when letting people near someone you care about.

So, should I go out with him even though he is kind of homophobic? Give it a chance anyway, even though I really don't like homophobia and I'm worried about how he might be around people I care about? Or is being homophobic not enough reason to not date someone? I'm not looking for a yes or no answer, just your thoughts about what I should do :) Thank you for your input, I appreciate it :)

My best friend is transgender, and my mom knew her all her life and still loves her, but she doesn't understand much about LGBT stuff. Its not her fault, that's just the way she was raised, but she wants to be accepting, and I think it would help to show her some videos that could help her understand why kids might be transgender. She thought that people become LGBT because of traumatic experiences during childhood, and that one isn't just born that way. I explained to her that being LGBT is OK, and that there is nothing wrong with it, and that some people just ARE that way, its not like a sickness or anything.

I showed her a few videos before and she likes watching them, and I'd really like if she could understand better why a kid might chose to change genders so she won't frown upon my friend's decision. Do you guys know any good videos online that helps parents understand more why a child or young teen would change genders? I'm not trying to force anything onto her, she does actually want to understand better and I think the videos have helped. Thanks for your time, I appreciate it.

When I have friends over (teenage girls), my 5 year old male labradoodle starts wanting sexual things, he tries to hump them and he licks himself more, and he also starts acting that way with me, even though he never does that when its just us. It only happens when I have friends over. I could put him outside or in a different room but its nice having him around, he's a good guy and he's nice to pet. Is there a way to get his mind out of the gutter when I have friends over? He rarely acts this way.

My friend who I met online really dislikes his autistic brother and wants to hurt him. His brother can't really do anything, and its not his fault if my friend thinks he's annoying. He needs someone to talk some sense into him. Email me, especially if you too have an autistic brother, or know someone with autism.

cnaiman @rocketmail.com

or his email: dustinhuwash @yahoo.com

dustinhuwash@yahoo.com

Be nice to him. But he really doesn't like his autistic brother, and he needs someone to talk some sense into him so he'll be nicer to his bro and wont hurt him. If you know anyone with autism and know what its like, please help out my friend's brother and email him.

He's interested in the three of us group chatting about it, if you can. Email him please.

I'm jewish-atheist. When I was little, I just went along with what I was told, but I grew older and learned about science and how the world works, and I knew that all those stories about god weren't true. I still believed in god, but not heaven and hell. I tried to explain it to myself, "the world is like a story. god is the hand writing it and the pencil he holds and the paper are science. science makes up the world, but it is guided by god"

After that, I realized how lame my attempt was of trying to explain how god existed. I became agnostic, then atheist.

Since I'm more than just atheist, and I remember and understand how god is supposed to be, I know he's supposed to have unconditional love and be the good guy. Yet, I'm feeling all this hate for being atheist.

Don't get me wrong, if I see a christian holding a 'god hates fags' sign, I'm not going to judge the whole religion. I get it, some people make everyone look bad. So I know that not all theists are going to tell me god is sending me to hell for not believing in him.

I don't believe in god or hell, but honestly, the idea of being sent to eternal suffering after I die is pretty scary. Hatred is hurtful. So if you want to give an answer telling me to convert, or that I'm going to hell, please stop making everyone look bad with all the hatred. I want an honest answer. God is supposed to be good. Accepting. Loving. For all you who believe in god and don't do the whole 'god hates this, god hates that' thing, what happens to an atheist when they die? I know there isn't one right answer because everyone believes different things, but I'd like to hear your opinions and what you think happens.

My parents refuse to let an exterminator spray inside the house so there's ants crawling around in my room and I just saw one go inside my laptop through the HDMI slot. I'm pretty sure there was already some in there. When I open my laptop in the morning, there' sometimes an ant crawling around my keyboard. I keep squishing then with my fingers. I never used to do that because its so gross but there's so many, I cant just let them crawl over my things like that. I keep having to get up now to wash my hands because there's nasty-smelling ant guts on my fingers.

I'm worried for my stuff, for my laptop, and my mental health. Sometimes I get upset with all the ants, its kind of stressful and I think it might cause anxiety? Now, when I feel an itch, I think it might be the ants. I've seen some on my bed before. I'm not paranoid that they'll crawl into my ears and mouth when I'm asleep... yet. I don't want this to escalate and I don't want anything bad to happen to my laptop.

How do I get rid of them on my own and take care of my laptop and my mind?

I've noticed teachers speaking about events that happened in history like it hasn't happened yet, usually when listing things that happen in order. "blah blah blah will happen in 1971, then in 1973 blah blah-event will happen". Is it normal to do that? If so, when are you supposed to do so? Do people usually do that? English is my main language, but I grew up learning in spanish. Am I missing out on something here or do most people not speak that way when talking about history? Also, is that actually called future tense? I don't know what all the tenses are called even though I use them everyday.

Sometimes when I'm trying to go to sleep, and I've been upset that day, I'll get daymares. They used to be about bad things happening to someone I loved, and also being alone, rejection, or loneliness. Those ones still happen (rejection and loneliness). Also ones about my friends not giving a ****, leaving me behind when I need them. A lot of times I also remember real life things that happened, like the actual rejection and loneliness.

Some examples are, a friend dying. Being alone, and a friend comes up to me and they see I'm upset but they leave anyway, leaving me lonelier than before. Getting rejected when I ask to hang out with a friend.

So I'll be in bed, but sometimes the daymares wont go away and I wont be able to stop crying, and I know I have to get out of bed and lose sleep so I can go on the internet to distract myself. Of course, once I get on, its hard to get off. Plus, I don't want the daymares to return.

What should I do? I need enough sleep or I won't get up the next morning to go to school. Daymares suck. I want them gone. I tried listening to the radio in bed. How do I get my brain to stop making up horrible, realistic things?

If a guy (young teen) has a crush on a girl who's like his best friend, and she doesn't really do anything about it, just continues being friends and taking to him and hanging out (he didn't make a move or anything), why would he start ignoring her and acting like he dislikes her even when she tries to talk to him and spend time with him? It happened to me once and to my friend a few times. I don't know how the guy felt and why, I just want to understand this better so I know what to do if something similar ever happens again.

I crave coffee at night. I don't want to get into the habit of drinking coffee because its costly, but wanting to drink it only at night is worse. And I keep having dreams about drinking and smoking. I've never done either one, but now I sometimes feel like drinking and smoking. I really shouldn't try either one because I don't think I'd have the will power to quit if I started one of these habits. What can I do to stop craving these things that I've never even had in real life?

First, I haven't heard any good reason why cutting is so bad (if the cuts are small and don't leave scars, of course). Second, I never have heard any good alternatives to cutting. Its not a regular bad habit like smoking that you can learn to stop. Its done for a reason, like easing emotional pain for example. Or releasing anger, sadness, and stress all at once if it builds up so much that you'd like to drop dead and just quit. Its not to just feel better, but to calm down to the point where rational thinking can be done so that measures can be taken to feel better. What alternatives are there? If something simple like punching something or watching TV would work, it wouldn't have gotten so far as to need to see blood.

Sometimes it gets difficult to swallow, like something's back there that shouldn't be in my throat messing it up, and it feels like I can't breathe well, like my tongue is too big and is in my throat blocking my airway. I'm 18, I didn't get my tonsils taken out as a kid even though they were quite large (could large tonsils be the problem?) and my tongue is a bit large also. I don't know if that's relevant because I have no idea what could be causing this.