Emily

At my Christmas staff party last night, Santa showed up and in front of the whole staff and their husbands and families, they took two of my fellow co-workers who were single and gave them phallic-shaped vegetables as Christmas presents while my married co-workers made inappropriate jokes about where and how they would be using these "gifts".

I work at a Christian daycare and I and the two other women who received the "gifts" are the only non-Christian employees. Everyone holds being in a marriage and being "pure" in very high esteem. I am a single person myself and the only reason why I was spared of this joke was because my break-up was very recent and a bit messy.

It just bothered me to see the looks of confusion, embarrassment and humiliation on my co-worker's faces and how they had to have their picture taken too.

What do you all think?

I've been single for about a month and a half and I'm just hating it. I don't think I will be single forever, nor have I been single for a long time, I just think that I need to come to terms with myself without a partner before I'm ready to be in a healthy relationship.

How can I accept, enjoy and come to terms with being single right now?

It doesn't help that my best friend just got married. My ex and I were in the wedding party together and it was when we were at our best. Soooo many photos of us together as a couple.

I was supposed to get my driver's license in the mail yesterday. But it never came. I have an event coming up and I need to know if I need to tell my friend that I can't come to her event. I live in BC, Canada. I'm trying to get into a club and I have my ....

Temporary Driver's license (no picture)

an expired passport (expired 2009)

and my birth certificate, care card and SIN card

I doubt these items will work, but I would like to know so that I don't have to cancel on her last minute. Thank You!!

my sister has a problem where she will take things from myself and my mother. she will ask first, but if and when we say no for whatever reason, she will just go behind our backs and take them herself. tonight, she took an expensive dress that I haven't even worn yet and wore it out to the club where she sweat in it and she stretched it out (she's 15 pounds heavier than me). She also wore my mother's expensive boots that my mother told her she couldn't wear either. Every time she is confronted, she just says that she thought we said she could take our stuff, or she forgot that we said she couldn't.

I try lending her my things as much as I can so that she feels like she can borrow our things when she asks and we say yes and it can be a positive experience for her, I've tried talking to her about it and telling her how I feel when she takes our things, I've even tried giving her a taste of her own medicine (unfortunately, I don't care for most of her clothes)- I'm at a loss of what to do. Please help.

hey. my boyfriend and I just broke up. I'm very bummed (obviously) but I do really have to go to work today. I work at a daycare and I take my job very seriously. Therefore, I need to not be crying and appear fine. I will worry about all the healthy ways of dealing with the break up over the weekend. I just need techniques to stop crying. Thank You

Hello, how are you all?

I live in Vancouver and there are a lot of people from the Philippines that I have gone to school with, worked with and see on a day to day basis. For some reason, every person I have gotten to know who was from the Philippines, I have gotten along with extremely well. Especially people from there who have immigrated directly to Vancouver. I don't know if its a coincidence, or if its some cultural aspect that I specifically admire.

My question is: What are some important social cultural aspects of the Philippines?

Also. I hope that my question was not offensive in any way. I've just always wondered this.

My friend barfed all over me. :(

Thanks for your help!

Hey. I have an unhealthy obsession with my weight and so this has been bothering me for the past week and a bit. I'm 111 pounds usually, but then, all of a sudden, I became 114 pounds. At first I thought it was water weight from an upcoming period, but then, no period came.

I did get sick, but that was yesterday. The three pounds were gained on the 11th of June. IT WON'T GO AWAY! I NEEDZ IT TO GO! WHY IS IT HERE!

I did not over eat, I did not over exercise, I did everything exactly the same as usual

a thousand frownie faces

hey. I have always considered myself a feminist. As in I root for women's equality and don't believe women to be superior to men. to me, this means giving up the "ladies first" mentality. If I don't want to be objectified and feel like a pet to my significant other, then I pay for myself, don't expect doors to be open to me and I don't expect to be taxied all over the place. I am considerate in relationships- meaning that I do clean and cook and buy my significant other things- but not because he is a man- because I love him and want to do nice things for him. He does these things for me as well.

When thinking of gender inequality, I'll admit, I used to get really frustrated with men when they always talked of feeling like they were treated poorly by society. Especially white men. But I've been trying to see where they are coming from and I'm trying to see if I've managed to get on the same page as them:

We need to acknowledge the fact that rape, sexual assault, molestation, violence, and general abuse does happen to men by women.

We also need to give women harsher sentences when this kind of abuse does happen- women seem to get off easier than men in a lot of cases (this is what I've heard from men)

I know there are things that are unequal that occurs often in divorces surrounding children and money- but I'm afraid to express an opinion on it because I don't know very much about divorce and the legal system so I'm just going to leave that one.

To other women who find my findings overly sympathetic- I think that women need to be taken seriously in life and that includes when we become criminals. I don't want anyone to underestimate our capabilities and that includes our ability to causing harm to others. Everyone should be punished to the extent of their crimes, including women.

What do you guys think? am I on the right track? Do you agree with these statements? why or why not?

I hope that I didn't offend anyone with this writing- If I did, I'm really sorry and feel free to tell me why you were offended.

Also, I know that this is the gender studies section, so don't think I'm not expecting some really ridiculous answers. I'm just hoping to get some serious answers. My hopes aren't too high, though.

Hey! I've read Harry Potter to the children I nanny but only up until year three. The fourth book, I find is a bit mature and that's when it starts to get a bit scary and has themes that are a little bit more exuberant. They children are age eight, and five. Its been a year since our last Harry Potter book, and they frequently ask me if they're "ready" for the fourth (I told them it wasn't time and I've been reading them other books instead). They really want to read the fourth book. What do you think? Can I?

PS- I was thinking more to the eight year old, than the five year old. If it helps

so, I went out with this guy twice before. my very good friend set us up and i really liked him. on our third date, we started fooling around. I asked him if he was dating anyone else- as I don't have sex without monogamy (we don't have to be in a "relationship he just can't be dating anyone else, if that makes any sense at all). anyways we had a lovely time but then i realized that this action is getting a bit habitual for me. is this normal for people to have sex this early on in the relationship? should I have waited a bit longer? Am I a hoe-bag?

thanks!

Available to be in a committed relationship

Lives close in proximity to me

Has time for me

Stable/ Accountable

Kind

Caring

Smart

Intellectual

Focused

Ambitious (to an extent)

Older (Or my age at the youngest)

Attractive (at least to me)

Articulate/Communicative

I myself am a 20 year old female, almost finished my diploma in Early Childhood Education, I'm currently working at a daycare and I am planning on continuing my education once I've spoken to a career adviser.

I feel like such a lame-wad asking this, but I dunno.... I guess I just wanted to have some opinions on my list. What do you have on your list?... if you keep one at all.

since i was fifteen (i'm twenty now) i've been very concerned with my weight. i've gone on diets that have consisted of three hundred calories a day. now that i'm older and wiser, i know better than to eat that little. unfortunately, i still go through periods where i really want to lose weight.... a lot. when i do that, i want to eat 800-1000 calories, which, to me, is a lot of food for someone who is dieting. what i keep hearing is that if i do that, i will gain weight, but i do this all the time, and i'm somewhat thin and have lost weight since high school. so what i'm wondering, is that maybe i don't need as many calories than most people. i'm not hungry during the day, only when i go to bed, and i'm able to go for runs and walks and everything. i feel my most comfortable and secure when i'm on a diet.

the only bad thing about my eating habits that i've noticed is very low blood pressure, feelings of dizziness at the end of the day, and sometimes having a hard time focusing in on things or being able to process information- but only after a really taxing day filled with exercise and work and school.

my grades haven't suffered- i'm in college, by the way

i'm doing well at my job

my mood is fine

and i feel pretty healthy overall.

so am i really eating too little? even if i am, i really don't want to eat more than that because i don't think i can lose weight eating more than 1200 calories. that's a lot of calories for me. (i'm not very tall also.)

ok. i know this is a generic question, but i don't care. I want to lose seven pounds in about a month and a half. first off, is that enough time to lose it in? i want to keep it off and maintain it once i'm there. i'm 112 pounds now and by losing seven more pounds, i'll remain in my healthy weight rangell(i'm not very tall). If i exercise by running every second day, and eat 800-1200 calories a day, do you think i can lose the weight and keep it off?

i'm 5'3 or 5'4, by the way.

i've dieted before but never the healthy way. i'm trying to make this realistic and easier for myself and i'm trying to make sure the diet doesn't take up my whole life, you know.

i'm a woman, i'm twenty, i've been sexually active with two partners in my life

i really really really really don't want to get a pap test. it makes me really uncomfortable. having a woman gynecologist might help a bit, but it still really bothers me. i've been sexually assaulted when i was younger so i have some issues with strangers shoving things down there. call me irrational, but that's just how i feel. when people talk about pap tests and tell me that i have to go to one, i really freak out and i feel like throwing up and crying. i don't know how i'll even be able to go in the first place. i want to be brave, but the idea of going feels wrong.

problem is, i'm sure they're necessary. and i've never had one. how do i know when i should go? why should i go? do i have to? what should i do?

thanks in advance

i didn't explain it very well the first time, so second time's the charm. sorry if this is annoying. it's only that... the wedding is TOMORROW!!!!! AHHH!!!!

I have a wedding to go to tomorrow and this is the outfit i'd like to wear. but i'm not sure if it's too... trashy.

It's a pink dress, with a gold sequined, see-through dress over top. Worn with black suede pumps. I'm wearing a blazer over top that's kind of a warm taupe brown and a waist belt in black.

so essentially... a sparkly gold and pink short-ish dress, with black pumps, a black waist belt and a blazer over top.

if this does indeed sound slutty, please give me ideas on how to tone it down if you think it's possible. thanks :)

i've worn the outfit before and i've gotten lots of compliments on it from girls and guys alike. i just need to know if it's wedding attire, you know?

it's not super short. you know the dress rule, when you put your arms down by your side and judge the length based on weather or not the dress touches your fingertips? well it passes that test, but just barely. i'm not usually a slutty dresser.

I have a wedding to go to tomorrow and this is the outfit i'd like to wear. but i'm not sure if it's too... trashy.

It's a pink mini dress, with a gold sequined, see-through dress over top. Worn with black suede pumps. I'm wearing a blazer over top that's kind of a warm taupe brown and a waist belt in black.

so essentially... a sparkly gold and pink mini dress, with black pumps, a black waist belt and a blazer over top.

if this does indeed sound slutty, please give me ideas on how to tone it down if you think it's possible. thanks :)

i consider myself rather attractive. i like what i see when i look in the mirror. yes there are things about my body that i don't care for (like my ARMS!!!!! I HATE THEM!!!).

I don't go on about how pretty i think i am though. but i do try to keep myself looking ok by exercising and keeping my skin in good condition.

and i definately think there are more important things than being good looking.

it's for a party at a friend's house. my whole family is coming and her whole family is going to be there. I'm wearing a see through, gold sequined dress with a little pink mini dress underneath. It's kind of low cut, but i have very small boobs and the dress is about mid-thigh length. i''m wearing black suede pumps (they're not too high but they're definitely not short either) and a blazer or cardigan over top. is that inappropriate? please answer!!!!!! thanks :)

i've been friends with this girl since 9th grade (since we were fourteen) and now we're twenty. we used to have compatible personalities but she was always into gossip and sometimes when we hung out we would talk about people behind their backs and i would always feel bad (nothing terrible by the way, just regular stuff. we never started any rumors or anything like that). Plus, she's really attractive, but she knows it. you know? She's always going on and on about how pretty she is and although i agree with her that she is pretty, sometimes it's like "could we talk about something else now?".

Now that we've gone to different colleges and are learning different things, i feel like our differences have become exaggerated and our opinions about things that are really important to me are polar opposite and i have a hard time relating to her.

However, i do miss her these days because we did have our good times and funny jokes and when she wasn't talking about her looks, we had some good conversations. I'm just worried that being friends with her is taking me away from being the person that i want to be. But i also don't want to hurt her feelings. what should I do?