Marcia

My daughters say that my cat is spoiled rotten. She is, I guess, like a child somewhat. She gets her Sheba first  think when she wakes up. Then she wants to go down to the basement and chase bugs. She comes back in, eats her dry food and takes a nap. Then she wakes up, goes outside and chases the chickens, plays with the dog, and wreaks havoc with the birds. She stays out a few hours and then she comes in and takes a cat-nap. Then, after we get in from work, she goes out for a short time and comes in and eats. Then it's play time, then "Nite Nite on Banky" time. Does your cat have a routine such as this ? Essie is an indoor / outdoor cat but she stays and sleeps inside every night. She sleeps on her blanket on my bed at night. My kids say this isn't normal.  ??

Just to brief you.....

I was married from age 18 to 45. I was free to go and do anytime I wanted. I've been single for 15 years. Now, I'm in a committed relationship with a great guy, but DANG I can't spend all my time with just one person.

I live by myself about 30 miles from him. We see each other several times a week and almost all of every weekend. It is very difficult for me to make plans with my girlfriends or my family without him getting his feelings hurt that I don't want to be with him all the time. It's like I have to choose him or choose a life that includes other people. He doesn't tell me "no" you can't go or anything like that, it's that his whole demeanor changes, his voice, his expressions, etc. You can tell he doesn't like it when I cringe and say the words "Hey, I think I'm going to spend this coming Saturday with my daughter." It's weird. He doesn't seem to have a lot of friends (other than his AA friends) and no hobbies to speak of. He just lives to be with me and I don't like that at all.  

He books up weekends with plans for us and I can never have time with my family. He goes to AA meetings several times a week and every Saturday night. He wants me to go to the meetings with him but I'm not an alcoholic so Saturday night I'd really rather be drinking a beer and laughing with my friends. I feel like I have to choose between a relationship with him and a life of independence and peace. Is he controlling or is there a problem with me and commitment?