KJ

There is this new young construction worker who loved to brag how tough he was and often challenged people to feats of strength.

After a week the old welder spoke up and said "i bet you i can put something in that there wheelbarrow and move it 20 feet and you will have no chance to do the same"

'put your money where your mouth is' replied the young man

"one weeks pay'

"your on" says the young man

so the old man got the wheelbarrow and said "get in kid"

that was his last challange

Mine is

why can't blonds make ice cubes?

They can never remember the recipe.

The type of person dose not care what people think of them.

The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom.

I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells awesome.

You ever use this stuff?

Me 29, have done nothing compared to my grandparents or even my parents.

My friend shoot my 270 and split his eye brow wide open on the scope. Don't ask how, he dose not know much about guns I thought it would be funny if he shot a big gun, not result in stitches. The is a tonne of blood in his truck now, how can he get it out. It has been on the seat for around 4 days.

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.

Female...... Any part under a car's hood.

Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.

Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to an other.

Male..... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n .

Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.

Male ... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.

Female..... A desire to get married and raise a family.

Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.

Female . . . A good movie, concert, play or book.

Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.

Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.

Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.

Female...... The greatest _expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.

Male. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.

Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.

Male ... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND;

He said . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said, That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

She said ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

She said . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said . . . Why are married women heavier than single women?

She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

The would fill up the other way

She is the only one with a blue box.

Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Johhny?"

"Well, my goldfish died," replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up,"and I've just buried him."

The neighbour was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied...

"That's because he's inside your cat!

'I do' the longest?

who could not afford the exorcist bill?

A man is lying in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask over his mouth, A beautiful nurse walks in to check up on him,

"Nurse,"he mumbles from behind his oxygen mask,

"Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies,"I don't know, im only here to sit you up or help you roll over."

Struggling,he again asks,"are my testicles black?"

Young nurse replies,"I don't know, im not a doctor I cant check that."

he again asks,"are my testicles black, I know you can check?"

Finally she raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand,and holds his testicles in the other,"There's nothing wrong with them!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask and replies,

"That was nice,but are my test results back"

At the supermarket checkout, the lady in front of me hoisted two jugs of distilled water onto the counter. One of them burst, spewing its contents over the entire area, including the cashier and herself. She was dismayed, and the clerk was obviously upset. Grabbing the loudspeaker he immediately requested a mop. Minutes passed, and nothing happened. Frantic, he screamed into the speaker: "We need a mop and a bucket at checkout No. 4 immediately! A lady's water has broken."

Two men are out just fishing quietly and drinking beer.

Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, 'I think I'm gonna divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months.'

Earl continues slowly sipping his beer then thoughtfully says, 'You better think it over, Bob. Women like that are hard to find.'

What do you think about the Golden Parnassus hotel in Cancun making guest pay for their hotel after Conquest shut their door without notice.

Some are being charged as much as $6,000 USD by the hotel on top of what ever they paid Conquest for their vacations.

If I was their I would not be able to afford it so I would be in jail. The hotel has police guarding the doors so guests cant leave.

Who do you think will get through the first round and how many games will it take.