How do you say Happy Mother's Day to some one who should not be having a baby?
My sister's daughter is having another baby with a new boyfriend that just got out of prison. My sister is acting like this is wonderful. The girl won't work or go to school and she already has a 5 year old she has dumped on her mother and grandmother who now take care of that child. Now she and her unemployed ex con boyfriend are having a baby. I think my sister is paying their rent now in addition to keeping the first child.
I think this is a disaster and the girl should not be having any more children. I have seen her in action, she is a terrible mother and the first child is far better off away from her. I fear for this new little baby and my clueless niece but my sister thinks this is all just fine and dandy. Is she crazy or am I? We are having dinner tommorrow with our mother and I just do not know what to say about it all.
whattodo11792006-05-13T16:51:26Z
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sometimes, you have to grin and bear it... either way, the girl, and her daugher are your family... no matter if it was a ex-con or nicholas cage who got her pregnant. She may be a bad mother, but everyone can change, look at it as encouragment. Im sure there are a ton of women out there who wouldda gave up if it wasn't for a kind word here and there about them doing a good job, or happy mothers day. You may be able to open it up as a window into being able to talk to her more later about it and getting her more involved with your great neice and nephews lives.
If you want to be nice/nasty you constantly point out what good mothers your mom and sister are. "Wow, sis, it is so good of you to support your daughter and her children!" or if you just want to maybe open your niece's eyes a little, mention that motherhood is always what is best for the baby~~if your sister is raising her first child, that is for the best obviously. You should tell her she was mature in realizing she couldn't handle being a mother at that time. To avoid any stress, I would advise saying a general "Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers!" You can add a more personal wish to each individual, except the niece, without everyone else noticing. If your sister doesn't mind raising her grandchildren, well, that's what matters.
I take it you have been a perfect mother yourself. While your niece may be a bad mother and should not in fact have another child, it was and is not your decision to make, and it would be better if you were to offer to help than to criticize. I'm sure your sister could use that as a mother's day gift for her. And I doubt that your mother would like to see her day soured by your attitude. And her greatgrandchildren certainly need all the help and good will they can get.
Tell your sister what you just told us. She might be so supportive of her daughter because she doesn't want to lose her or have her run off with her ex-con boyfriend. Share your worries and you'll probably find she shares them too. The way your sister is acting towards her daughter is not helathy right now. Yes, the birth of a child is a miracle, but when she already made this mistake once and your sister supported her with no complaints, it's like saying "it's okay to have a baby with your bum of a boyfriend because I'll take care of everything," SO your neice did it again. Your sister needs to be supportive, yet FIRM with your neice. let her know it's not okay. Make her share the burden. Make her get a job. Forbid her to have sex with ex cons. Set boundaries. May God be with you.
Wish your sister and your mom a happy mother's day - after all, you sister is the one doing the mothering.... Stay out of their drama. It's unfortunate that she's making poor choices for herself, but that's not your business. Be thankful she's not your daughter.