We had 3 fish that my 3 year old loves to watch. One died a few weeks ago and he kept asking where the fish went. I avoided his questions.
My husband just told me another one died (we didn't do anything wrong, I just got old fish I think). I don't want to replace them since the tank was almost too small.
Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
Anonymous
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Please please don't tell your child that the fish are "sleeping" or have gone away. It will make him afraid to go to sleep and he will get emotional when you are leaving to go someplace without him (like to work for example) because in his little mind you going away to work and his fish going away and never coming back would be the same thing. Just tell him Honey, your fish died. He will probably say Oh, ok, and run off and play. If he says "what's died?" as in he's asking what died means, then you can answer that question with that means he doesn't live anymore. I find it's best to answer young children's questions with only as much information necessary to answer the question. Then if they ask more questions, you give them a little more information. No need to confuse a little 3 year old child with complicated explanations about death. Just matter of factly state, "the fish died." and leave it at that.
pixie
Sorry to hear about your dilemma, there is no easy way to explain death to a child, the kindest thing to say is Farther Christmas needed the fish, this is what used to tell my kids and it always worked. children don't remember things to long so in a couple of days the fish will be all forgotten especially if you buy him a toy.
Hope this helps.
Love Pixie.xx
Momma K
Please be honest with your child because if you make up the old "its sleeping, etc." your child may have trouble understanding death later in life.
Explain that fish don't live a long time and that the heart inside the body stopped working and it needs to rest now. Just like a human would. Plain and simple.
Good Luck!
Anonymous
Well largely it depends on your beliefs. What do you want your kids to think happens when someone/thing dies. Heaven, a better place, reincarnation, nothing.
Just whatever you do don't compare it to sleep or to going away, or your child may get all the wrong ideas.
Personally, for me and my beliefs I would probably say something like. Inside every living thing is power, power like what turns on the lights, and powers your toys, but once a power leaves a living thing it can not return. They just stop. The power continues on through the world, and the body becomes part of the earth again.
undeniablynarcissistic
It's basically depended on what you want to instill into your child at such a early age and whether your child is emotionally 'fortified' to bear such explanations.
Firstly, decide whether your child is emotionally fragile. See whether he/she cries a lot and feels sad over small things. If your child is emotionally fragile, then I suggest not to tell him/her.
Secondly, if you insist strong that your child must be taught of the truth then go ahead.
Lastly, what I suggest is that at such a young age, this kind of questions are best to be avoided. Come to think of it, your child will eventually know what's death all about. At that point of time, he/she will be more able to rationally understand the fact death is inevitable than he/she will now (considering your child is only 3 y/o).