Any ideas on how to deal with my boyfriends 10 yr. old son who has a weird obsession with his father?
He is a little "no, a lot" on the sissy side and can't stand for us to touch each other! He actually threw away a valentine card I gave his father! I have tried to be nice, but what do I do??
2008-02-20T08:00:56Z
**his parents have been divorced for 5 years and we have been dating for over a year. I have an 11 yr old daughter and he has another son who is 13. The oldest son does not have any problem with me. My daughter has no problems with my b/f. It is a serious relationship. We have discussed marraige.
2008-02-20T08:08:48Z
OK, more: Yes he actually does have custody of his boys so they spend plenty of time with him alone and have for the past 5 years. Unfortunately, I am the first woman he has brought around them since the divorce. (his bad I guess)
Anonymous2008-02-20T07:41:07Z
Favorite Answer
no - he will get used to you eventually - you will want the closeness when he decided to hate you two
This is why i would never get involved with a single mother and im sure vise versa for women not wanting to get involved with single men with kids,The kid feels jealousy when he see's you touching up his father maybe even hatred,It's because your not his real mother,He threw away the valentine card because he hates you and he is telling you he hates you,He is 10 years old not a baby anymore,He will always hate you and make your life hell until you leave his father,I feel sorry for kids in these situations,All you can do is ask him why he doesn't like you?Be friendly with him,Talk to him take him out befriend him,Let him know you love him also and not just his father,Dont touch is father when he is around,Tell him what he done with the card was wrong and nasty,Tell him you love his father and that he will always be his fathers son and you will be his step mummy,It must be hard but your gonna have to sort this out alone!!!
I know how you feel. I used to date a gf with a 3 year old.
It is a passing phase and he will grow out of it. You have to be patient with him. Maybe for now you have to get intimate without him being around you first.
Other things you can try include getting him little gifts to get him to like you more. Find out what he likes from your bf and buy those for him when you see him.
Or get him hooked on computer or cartoons or psp or Wii, things that will get kids distracted so you can have some quality time with your bf.
Building a relationship takes time and some kids have a natural dislike for their father's gfs as they kind of think they are trying to replace their mother. If you can show him unconditional love and try and treat him like your own son, given time, you will definitely win him over.
You have to win him over if you are thinking of something permanent with this bf.
Are they divorced or never married? If divorced is it possible that he wants his family back? His world has been shattered and he is grieving. If they were never married it might be that he feels like he has to compete against you for the affections of his father. How can a 10 year old do that? Honestly, his father is an insensitive sod. He should act appropriately in front of his child. I don't blame you as he isn't your child and you Will never feel as if he is. Give the kid a break and allow him to spend time with his daddy without you. He can't compete with what you have to offer.
That's not a weird obsession. That's a child of divorce who's jealous of his father's new girlfriend. There's nothing weird about it. Give it time.
Assuming Dad doesn't have sole custody (just because most Dads don't), how much time are you spending with them when Dad has the child? That's his time *with the child*, so be careful about how much you impose on that time.
And by the way, I would not suggest that you refer to this child as a 'sissy'.