i'm 29 years old with two kids. both 7 years old, and twins. boy & girl. my so called husband used our money to gamble & whatever..no he's nowhere in sight. i can not afford to send my kids in neat clothes, i am on welfare and have food stamps, and my credit card is always being declined so there is hardly any food in the house, unless my mother who is my savior, buys it. everyday after sending my kids to school i see the kids with neat,clean,clothes on and their hair perfect. i look at my kids and their clothes are from a week ago, wrinkled, stained..etc. i work 2 jobs. one as a cashier paying 10.50 an hour and i work 6 hours, and the other one as a greeter at a local supermarket paying 9.50 an hour. it's very sad to see my kids go off to school like that. my husband and i are separated but are doing our, well, I'm doing my best to keep my kids healthy. he is never around for them, except on holidays and birthdays. last year on their birthday, he never sent them a card,not a phone call.nothing. i am doing my best to keep them happy. does anyone know of a place in NYC that can provide cheap,good clothes? thanks..and how can i feel like a good mother?
Anonymous2009-03-03T11:12:44Z
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This answer is going to be a little long, because i had a relative who was in the same position as you. First, take a deep breath. You sound like a good mother who is trying to make a good life for her children. Okay, Now. You're going to have to find a nice home, whether it's a condo, a large apartment, whatever as long as you can afford it. It can still be in the NY area- but it will be a much nicer,safer place for yourself,children,and (?) future child(ren). Second, you can hand wash your children's clothes. You can wash their hair and wash their body. Even know you think of your-self as 'poor', you can be ''rich'' in the poorest possible ways. If you're credit card keeps being declined, find out WHY. Thank your mother for helping bring your children up. Go into court w/ that scumbag of a 'husband' or 'father'. Divorce him and order him to pay child support so your children can be healthy,fed, & clean. To wash your child's' clothes by hand, plug a sink, and add about 1/4 cup of detergent. Fill the sink with hot water, as hot as you can put your hands in. If you're washing whites and want to bleach them, now's the time to add about 1/4 cup of bleach. Put your clothing in the water, and get it thoroughly wet & soapy. If it is stained ( which you claimed it is) let it soak for 20-25 minutes. Knead the clothes as if you would if they were bread. Unplug the sink, drain, and start the water running. Rinse it until the water runs clear w/ no soap. Wring out and hang to dry. It's as simple as that to send your kids in clean,fresh clothes. If they're a little wrinkled, no biggie. Find a job that pays MORE and one that you can actually enjoy going to. What was your dream job? Think about it. Attend a community college, and go for your dream job. Make the kids wash up every night before they go to bed- and when they wake up. They can be as clean as the next kids. Once again, you're NOT a bad mother. You're providing a home for your kids, not hitting them and taking care of them. That's not bad. A bad mother is one who hits,curses,drinks,doesn't give a crap about her kids. According to the quetion, YOU DO! So live it up, move out of NYC into Long Island. I live in LI,NY and it is a great place here. It's safe, and your kids will go to great schools. Your kids hair can be clean- wash it, comb it, do what-ever. as for being on a budget with clothes, the salvation army & thrift shops can provide clothes. Old Navy isn't so cheap. So i wouldn't reccomend that. Wal-Mart is a good place for clothes-whether its' online shopping or in-store, it's cheap and the clothes there are great. I wish you the best of luck.
Why are your kids clothes stained and from a week ago? It doesn't matter if they wear the same outfit every day of the week, couldn't you put a little effort into cleaning the clothes they do have. A little soap and water goes a long way. I'm not trying to be mean, but it's not giving your kids expensive haircuts and cool clothes that makes a great mother... it's someone who takes pride in them and is always there for them no matter what. Supporting two kids with no father is a good mother. Remember that. My mom raised me and my brother by herself and she did a great job. I never had the best clothes and a lot of my clothes were given to me.. but she made them the best. I felt like a million bucks going to school and nobody knew otherwise.
It sounds like you're doing the best that you can. I don't think that makes you a terrible mother. Have you ever thought of moving out of the city? I just read last week that to be considered middled class you need to make at least $120,000 a year. If you move to a smaller town, the cost of living is generally lower and you will probably be making about the same amount of money per hour. If moving is not an option, look for clothes at thrift stores. Most of them have nice stuff and they're cheap. Once in a while you can even find brand new clothes.
Can you get on food stamps or something? You may need to try and leave NYC.
As far as clothes go, you should look for thrift stores like salvation army. Even if they are not in-style, try to keep them clean. Don't compare yourself to others, that is not fair. Some people are not doing as well as you are. You are taking care of the kids the best you can.
You are working hard to provide for your kids in a tough world. I think it's commendable especially with an absentee father. Your kids may not appreciate it now, but they will when they are older. I wish I could tell you a place for clothes, but I'm from Chicago not NYC. And by the way, you are a good mother keep your head up.