CRACK! The sound of the whip as it slaps against the backs of the slaves.
I'm not sure if i should have it say Crack, then the rest or CRACK, then the rest. but idk. Its the first sentence in my paper and it has to grab ur attention. How can i make this work?
Anonymous
Favorite Answer
That is NOT a complete sentence!
Maybe try:
CRACK! goes the sound of the whip as it slaps against the backs of the slaves.
Or
The whip goes CRACK! as it slaps against the backs of the slaves.
?
I would keep the order as you have it, which grabs the attention of the reader. But here is a corrected sentence so that you don't use an incomplete one.
CRACK! The sound of the whip yells as it slaps against the backs of the slaves.
DaNe
not a complete sentence, it doesn't have a verb in the right place, a suggestion would be CRACK! goes the whip as it slaps against the backs of the slaves.
or
CRACK! screams the whip....
yells the whip...
hisses the whip...
Anonymous
Don't you know the '' fanboys'' acronym ?
F - for.
A- and.
N- nor.
B- but.
O- or.
Y- yet.
S- so.
Crack! The sound of the whip ( add an ominetopea- sound of things) buzzes, as it slaps agressively against the backs of the slaves.
Anonymous
It's more of a style argument than anything