HELP!! Is this normal for a daughter to do this to her mom?

Question

HELP!! Is this normal for a daughter to do this to her mom?
I am a single mom of a 21 yr old son & a 19 yr old daughter. I have the been the best mom I could be & looking back I probably did too much for my kids. Anyways my daughter & I had a fight back in Feb. because she wouldn't sweep the garage. Yes this is it. Though her additude was bad about a month befor hand. And I basically was just ignoring it hoping it would pass. Well I ended up telling her if she couldn't sweep & change her additude she could get out. Well she got out that night. She moved in w/her boyfriends mom(he's in the navey). I tried several times to talk to her, left her messages, e-mailed her etc to try & settle things w/her but she wouldn't respond. I didn't recieve anything for mother's day & I saw her driving & she didn't even wave to me on mothers day. I have never been so hurt. Then I find out that shes doing alot of drinking & the boyfriends mom is buying it for her. So then this has me worried also. My mom decided to call the other mom & try & talk to her about what what going on & come to find out my daughter told her I was abusing her bla bla bla all these lies & this mom believed her. (Keep in mind I have knowen this lady for 2yrs & always gotton a long w/her) well my mom & her ended up getting into it(Because of course my mom stuck up for me) And then the mom called my daughter @ work & told her a whole bunch of lies that my mom sabosably said. It is just a complete mess. I recieved a e-mail from my daughter telling me to stay out of her life that she wants nothing to do w/me or my family & if we don't leave her a lone she will take out a restraining order out on us. It's July & I haven't botherd her by phone calls or anything since the end of Feb. And then I get that e-mail. My family is so very hurt because we are a very close family & we just can't figure it out. Well on July 3rd she moved to Cali & no good bye or anything.

I'm so confused & hurt. I actually feel like I have griefed a loss of one of my kids. She's gone & I have no clue what any one has done. I never dreamed one of my kids would do this. We were close & talked about everything. And now nothing shes gone I didn't get to see her graduate high school or anything.

Has anyone gone thru this? Do I just let it be? Gee for how long? Until she contacts me? What if she doesn't & something happenes to one of us? I'm so very hurt & just don't know what to do. Please give me some advice. My god it's been 5 months. I can honestly say "I don't know what the hell I did to deserve it!!" 

Thank you
8 minutes ago

itsjustme · Accepted Answer

It sounds to me like you have an extremely spoiled daughter, who is so self-centered that she can't possibly think of anyone except herself. I know it's going to be tough, but let her go!  Someday, hopefully, she will realize her mistake and come back.  If not then you just don't have to put up with a selfish self-centered egomaniac!

Anonymous · Answer

I feel for you and I think the only thing you can do is to keep strong. Write her a letter asking to meet at a cafe or somewhere neutral but I strongly suggest you take a friend with you. In time I hope she will realise her mistakes and will come home. Sadly it will take a lot from her to admit that she has been wrong and I wouldn't even consider asking her to do this or asking her for an apology. In your letter I would tell her that a mothers love is unconditional and everlasting and tell her the door will always be open for her without question.
I hope that in time she will become more mature and realise that a life of drink is not the way to go, but sadly she is obviously under this influence and the influence of unsuitable people but there is nothing you can do until she herself sees the light.
I don't think it is wrong to grieve for her but don't give up hope.

Belgariad · Answer

The fact that your daughters boyfriends mother is purchasing booze for her is a crime is something that you should report to the cops.
You don't have to feel remorse for what happened.  You were in the right  Your kids need to help you any time they can.  It's a privilege not a chore.  They forget that.  Your kid might resent you for a while but it's better than having her turn into an alcoholic before she is even old enough to purchase it.

ultimatediorcutie · Answer

well im in a situation similar to yours. except im the daughter. Now, when i moved out, I swore i would never speak to my mother again. your daughter is probably very hurt by your throwing her out (even though at 19 ahe should be out of the house anyway). i think that you should gibe her some time to get over the hurt and reconcile with you. but it has to be on her own terms, or else you will only push her away further. If shes willing to involve the law, you have no choice but to let it be. i know its very painful to just let go of your child like that but you got to do what you got to to. I wish you the best of luck in anything you decide to do!

Emily H · Answer

i would wait it out if her boyfriend is a heavy drinker and he's in the navy chance's are its not going to last and you can be sure that's when shell come running she just needs to learn the hard way. i would keep calling and keep sending email apologizing for what ever it is you didn't do just so when she does come home she cant say you didn't try and thats the best you can do.

HELP!! Is this normal for a daughter to do this to her mom?

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