Does anyone think it is really possible for 47yr. old man to love 16 yr. old girl?
I know someone who has told me he has special feelings for a 16 year old girl, but he swears they have never done anything physical together. He said he only wants to take care of her, but he did state that if she wants children he would be willing to 'participate' and have a family with her when she is of legal age. Personally, I think he is going through a mid-life crisis. He has multiple personal problems, and this young girl has been coming on to him for quite a while (I know her very well, and I've watched her behavior around him). She is VERY guilty for her own part in this, but when I tried to reason with him and point out the things she's been doing, he just denies that she has done anything wrong. This is complicated, and she is now on probation and forbidden to see him for at least six months, so maybe they will both come to their senses in time. Anyway, any thoughts or helpful insights would be appreciated, and please no rude comments...thanks
Jake™2009-11-05T07:58:29Z
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOUR FRIEND IS MR.HERBERT, HE IS A PEDO
(This would be leaving money completely out of the equation, as I see that as the only reason a 16 year old would want to do things with a 47 year old, unless she's twisted)
One being that if that man is 31 years older than her...there is a HUGE maturity difference...physically, emotionally, and with life experience. I'm sure the 47 year old is a nice guy but it puts that girl in a position to be manipulated.
Two- If it really is love, What does that girl do when she's 40 with 3 kids and he's falling apart? I'm not sure if that attraction will stay there. and if it does, for how much longer will she have his support?
The good thing about love is that your not destined to be with only one person. There are other people out there that fit who you are. I would advise both of them to move on from this fantasy and "get real"
**That is ONLY if your already in the middle of the situation...If your just an outsider to this looking in I don't find it right to take any sort of action.
He is having issues, although he may be a very good person. The girl is too young and unless he was in a coma most of his life they cannot possibly relate on enough to have a lasting relationship even if they waited for her to be 18. Women develop so much between 18-24. If you are over the age of 24 think about your view on life and your personality how much it changed during those years. They start defining what they want in life and who they want in life. It could be a mid life crisis, both genders have to pass those milestones when their youth has been replaced with wisdom and experience. I am sure he truly cares for her, worries about her safety, and it probably makes him feel good to be in a position to protect her be her "Savior" this is the fantasy of a situation like this. Not just the typical some old dude getting lucky with a young girl. For most guys who go through something like this it's a little more than that. If she's been warming up to him pulling his heart strings at the same time because just like him she is going through a tough time and this seems like a warm safe environment for her that's where disaster can strike. Even though both parties their intentions are good you need to be able to show them what the long term effects are. For him : This won't last and eventually he will be single again and that much older trying to find some to love and spend his last days with. For Her : This could severely change her image of what a healthy relationship should be impeding her development and chance for making healthy decisions for herself and happiness in the future.
Lastly if they were to have kids to try to keep it together, not only will both of their lives be devastated when they split up. But the children will suffer with barely knowing their Dad and growing up in an unhealthy relationship.
My advice is you need to focus on her, don't tell her what she is doing wrong you need to show examples long term timelines of what the dangers are. Don't tell her what to do, show her everything so she can come to the conclusion on her own. Her parents or guardian need to take a very active role in her well being. Need to overcome whatever boundaries they have and re-connect. IMO their isn't much time left for her. Good Luck! I truly wish this turns out for you and your friends.
Facts are that unless she is in one of the few states that still has age of consent above 16, she is legal. Though young are cute and some times sexy, they are not at an emotional level of a normal 47 yr old. From what you say, he does not have True love for her. I am guessing he is needy and does not have the skills to deal with people close to his age. If he is needy the only way to help is to support him in meeting someone older than 25 and let him get good vibes from the association.
It is normal for young girls to come on to their dads as they go through puberty. If she does not have one and she is finding out in a negative way she can manipulate and older person, then she is learning a negative way to relate to people.
There is no way this will produce a positive relationship and especially the offspring, if girls could be at risk.
well i guess anyone can fall in love and it might be possible they did...but my personal opinion is....the fact that he wants to "take care of her" he just wants to be needed and a 16 year old girl will accept it and wont have the baggage an attitude of a woman his age. she probably knows what shes doing and it seems like shes just taking advantage 16 year old girls can get manipulated easily but they also know how to manipulate. but 6 months is a long time for a 16 year old and he will probably get his heart broken if it is actual love.