3.5 year old kid i watch spent the weekend with me and refused to eat?

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you did the right thing, the whole reason why he refused to eat was because hes used to getting junk from his mom when he doesnt eat, so he thought if he held out, he would get what he wanted. a kid cant live off of chips and cookies. my parents had the same rule, we were not allowed to leave the table and were not allowed anything else unless we ate our meal. my brother once slept at the table. it was hard at first im sure, but after a few days, we learned that they werent giving in, so we stopped putting up a fight and just ate what we were given. now well eat anything. whenever he comes, let him know that he wont be getting away with that at your house, he will eat what hes given or not at all, soon hell get hungry or bored enough and give in and stop complaining and then youll never have to battle him again. tell his mother that its your house, so your rules, and you are giviing him food, its his choice if he wants to eat it or not. he wont starve himself....Show more

I think this punishment would have worked better if he were a little older. Given that a toddler's attention span is somewhere in the vicinity of 10 minutes, making him sit for 3 hours at a table with a meal he had no interest in eating was cruel. It's normal for little kids not to each much, or not to each for people other than their family (it's a test). However, I agree that this little guy is majorly spoiled and needs an attitude adjustment. He's been conditioned by his parents that if he doesn't eat, they'll buy him junk food to get him to eat something. Which means he does this with everybody. This can be infuriating for care-givers who wish to give them healthy food that they refused to eat; it took me months of training with a little girl I used to babysit to convince her that a salad at dinner to go with her boxed mac and cheese wasn't child abuse.

I would have taken the plate away after about 15-20 minutes, wrapping it up and putting it in the fridge. When he says that he's hungry, pull out his abandoned meal, heat it up and offer it to him. Make it clear that he is not going to get the junk food (or any snacks) he wants if he doesn't eat his meal first, and do this for as long as you can while the food is still edible. You want him to eat, not give him food poisoning. :P I think you should enlighten Mom to the fact that her precious little boy is playing her, and pitting you two against each other. She may think she's doing the right thing by giving into him, because sometimes with toddlers you'd cook anything they want as long as they eat something, but she should know that she's creating a monster and that giving him all this junk food is not helping his development....Show more

No, you didn't do the right thing. It was cruel to eat a brownie in front of him, especially if you had not intention of sharing it. Forcing a 3 year old to sit at a table for _three hours_ is absolutely ridiculous!
You should have offered him the opportunity to eat what you prepared for him and given him the option of eating it or not. Either way he went hungry, but teasing him with brownies and inflicting three hour punishments was absolutely unnecessary....Show more

Other than making him sit at the table for 3hrs, (which I'm surprised you got a 3yr old to do, Amazing) I agree with how you handled the situation. It sounds like he's a little spoiled and other than giving in to him you weren't about to win this battle. (been there myself) Kids generally will eat once they are sufficiently hungry and not eating for a bit won't kill them. I also agree that if he refuses to eat what you and your family are having then his mother should provide his food. However, if you feel stongly against feeding "junk food" to him, explain your feelings to the mother and let her know that if she wishes you to watch him he needs to abide by the rules of your house and family. After all what you do in your own home is one thing, but when you're a guest in someone else's home, RESPECT for them and their ways is what's important. Even for a 3yr old!...Show more