What are break up exceptions?

If you find out your girlfriend/boyfriend went to strip clubs in vegas, signed up for multiple online dating networks, communicated with old girlfriends/boyfriends (flirting, asking to set him/her up with other people) while you were on a break, would you be upset? Consider this hypothetical scenario- long term realtionship (4 yrs) with a couple breaks in between. Boyfriend/Girlfriend made it seem to you that they were miserable with out you and begged you to give them another opporutunity, but only to find out later this was their behavior while on the "break". Would you find that hypocritical or totally justifiable? Also, you on the other hand HAS been miserable during your break up times.

Thanks!

teresathegreat2010-06-03T15:24:12Z

Favorite Answer

A "break" is a dangerously vague term. To some people it means " we are still a couple, we just don't see each other very often"; to other people it means "we are not currently a couple but may renew the relationship at some future point." Always be sure to clarify the terms of a "break" or "breakup".

I think it's fair to assume that this was a breakup, that you were not a couple at the time. Therefore, you are both free to do whatever you want, including dates and flirtations and hookups with other people. There is no infidelity here, since fidelity is only required of an active/current relationship.

Their only error is in misleading you, in claiming that they were miserable without you. This may be true - people soothe their misery in different ways. Just because they are actively seeking a new partner does not mean they are happy, or happy without you. All these distractions might fail to solve the core misery - not having you.
It's also possible they are a total hypocrite, that they just wanted to pack in as much booty as they could, and are now saying whatever you want to hear in order to get you back because it saves them the effort of having to chase the booty. After four years, you should know this person well enough to listen to your guy and decide which scenario is more likely.

Jenn G2010-06-03T15:08:09Z

You are just kidding yourself. You were only miserable during the break because you, first, missed being in a relationship and second, didn't want anyone else touching your partner because of jealousy which is totally normal.

Get out of the relationship. It isn't healthy.

ProudArmyWife2010-06-03T14:59:47Z

You were not together. He should be able to do what he wants. Also remember men and woman handle things very differenly. He very well could have been miserable and still acted that way.

Anonymous2016-12-15T21:30:49Z

in case you 2 have been at the same time while he did this, for particular. yet because of fact which you have been on a destroy, this makes it somewhat tougher. Did he /she pass with the aid of with any sexual kinfolk whilst on the destroy? Like in case you 2 are on a destroy, then you incredibly gotta comprehend, they are able to do stuff with individuals. reason technically, you 2 are not at the same time splendid now.

Katie2010-06-03T14:58:58Z

i would not put up with those kind of actions. if he was set up to those websites before your relationship it could be understood but not while on a break. i would not tolerate this if i was in your position.