i want to rant. i need to rant. will you please tell me to stop wallowing?

Question

I'm not using the backspace key. (Except for typos)
I've had a headache for what feels like forever but is really only 9 months. Doctors are stupid. No, they're arrogant and pompous. They KNOW what's wrong, **** the symptoms. You have NDPH. It may or may not ever go away. Sure, we could try that treatment, but let's try another one instead that WON'T WORK. Just like the last 5. 6? 7? I've lost count. We can't try it because I didn't think of it, and I went to medical school. You don't have md behind your name, therefore you are wrong.

I CANNOT ****ING GO EXERCISE! I hardly feel like getting out of bed. So yes, nurse, I know I'm overweight. Thanks for pointing it out. I've only been self concious about it since I was 5!!

Stop asking me how I'm doing! I don't want your pity. I want to gag everytime I hear, "oh, you poor thing!" YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE BEING TOLD YOU COULD BE IN PAIN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! I'm 15. I can't learn to drive. I can't go to school. When I go to the hospital, I see little kids with cancer who are dying, and I think to myself, you selfish *****.

I'm crying as I write this, not because I'm sad, but because I'm soo majorly pissed at myself. I didn't do anything to deserve this, but neither did they. I'm just lonely and fat and in pain all the time. I'm not dying. It could be soo much worse, why am I wallowing now? Why do I yearn for a diagnosis when I know it will change nothing?

I'm causing my family soo much grief. My mother is always researching and stressed because of me. Because I'm a freak. I have such a great family, I shouldn't complain. Why don't other people get families like mine? Families that love them and help them and drive two hours to wait two hours to see a neurologist because she's supposidly the best?
Why did I have to do this to them?

Why...

What's the meaning of it all? Why are little kids suffering? Why do we have to get sick?

Why am I crying? Why am I typing this all? I'm not going to get anything out of throwing a fit on the internet, and yet I must, because I can't tell my family. I don't want to burden them more with me.

There's no point here. I'm pitiful. And don't worry, I'm not suicidal. Just tired and angry at life.

I need to throw up. I think the new medicine is making me nauseous.

I ruined our family night at universal studios. We went to the hard rock cafe and sat down and my head just hurt soo bad. I curled up on the floor next to the toilet, trying not to throw up and focus on anything else but the pain. But we left and I fell, and I sprained my ankle. On the way home, my sister said "why do you have to ruin everything?" And my parents told her to stop, but its true. I ruin everything. I ruined the past year.

I want to be a neurologist. I don't want other people to go through this. 

I don't want to go through this.

I just want to sleep. And go to school. And learn to drive. And flirt with boys. And be normal.

I'm sick of wallowing, but that's all I do. I'm pathetic.

I think I'm having a mental breakdown.

I think I just need a hug.

Patrick · Accepted Answer

This was too long so I didn't read it.  Sorry but I'm a guy and that's what we do.  Anyway...for what its worth

*HUG*

EDIT: I wasn't trying to be mean I really did read it all, I was going for funny.  Feel better.  I mean it.

Mary · Answer

Tell you school principal. This teacher can and most likely will be fired for this, as she should be. This is unacceptable. Definitely tell your parents, too, and encourage your classmates to do the same. If possible, get a recording of her rantings. If you can't, it's okay, everyone in the class will back you up. I high school, I had an English teacher who was supposed to be teaching writing, but instead we got an ear full of political science. I learned a lot about Nixon and watergate, but not much about writing.

Douglas B · Answer

Here's another hug, but one with hope attached to it.  You don't have to be in that pain any longer.  You can get rid of it.  I tried to tell my doctors about it but they said it wasn't possible it was what caused them and I was lucky I'm not in pain any longer.  Headaches are caused by tight neck muscles.  They go to the top of the head and when tight there they pull on other muscles that go around your head.  When those muscles get tight and go into pain you have pains around your brain, your headache.  To get rid of the headache you have to free up your neck muscles and here's how to do that:
Neck
Put your hands alongside your head so your thumbs are on the front of the muscle under your ear and your fingers are on the back of the muscle behind your neck.  Squeeze your thumb and fingers together and hold.  Relax your body.  When your fingers and thumb touch, about two minutes, slowly lower your head as far as you can, release the pressure but hold your neck lowered for another 30 seconds.
Sometimes the back muscles get involved as well for there are shared muscles between the two and if they don't get freed up as well they can go back to create another headache.  To prevent that from happening you should also free up your back muscles and here's how to do that:
Back: 
(do from a sitting position)
Place your left hand on your left leg next to your body.  Place your right hand over your left shoulder, fingers over the back and the palm in the front and firmly pull down on them and hold.  After 30 seconds slowly lower your body forward and to the outside of your left leg, keeping your left arm fairly straight as you do.  When you reach your lap remain there for another 10 seconds, release the pressure but rest there for another 30 seconds.  Then reverse your hand positions and do your right side.          For both- for best results relax your body first by taking a deep breath and exhaling then remain this relaxed.   Hope this finds you with a lot less pain than what you had.  If there are any questions drop a line.

Anonymous · Answer

*HUG* 
I wish there were something else I can say but I understand that we all need to vent now and then (some deserve it more than others...you do).
Just know that I read it all.
*HUG*

L · Answer

Long distance hug (((HUG))) sorry for no answer

i want to rant. i need to rant. will you please tell me to stop wallowing?

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