If a person is born a certain sex - why does he or she decide they want to be gay? I'm looking for logical and truthful answers.
If a person was married, to the opposite sex, then why switch to being gay during the marriage or after a divorce?
Hermes
Favorite Answer
Truthful? No one switches, ever. People are gay, bi, or straight - males at least never change. Some males so hate themselves due to certain religions or social pressures that they force themselves to be something they are not. If they were 100% honest (as you say you want) they would admit that they never WANTED women, that they forced themselves to conform because the thought of rejection or punishment was too much for them - and they kept expecting that they would "change" - often they were even told that they would - if they just acted like they were "supposed to" according to religious authorities or peer groups. But, despite doing exactly what they were taught would make them straight, they were still gay - and eventually the mouth drying, bone wrenching pain of lying to everyone, of hiding who they are, of always wanting and never having a companion of the gender appropriate for them became too much - and out they came.
Imagine if you would (I am presuming that you are straight) what it would be like to have every religious and social pressure in your world telling you that you should be attracted only to members of your own sex. Not just being told that as an adult, but as a child. Of seeing thousands of images every week - and all of those images being gay ones. Your friends hit their teens and they get same gender partners, but you WANT an opposite gender partner, what do you feel about yourself? Do you stand out and say "no, I'm different, I am going with an opposite gender partner?" Do you hide? What if there is also strong religious prejudice directed at opposite gender partners (and yes there are ways that such a society could survive - but the genetics won't allow the majority to be gay due to evolution)? What do you do then?
What you just honestly told yourself you would feel - is what gay people feel. Perhaps you think its profoundly cowardly to live a lie. I am proud I never did, but I was raised to never yield an inch and to always be who I was - are most kids? Be honest. Or are most kids taught to blend in, to be one of the crowd, to believe and behave like others?
You know the answer to the questions I've asked. And now, with that honesty you want to have, you know why people hide who they are - as for deciding to be gay - that's a joke, it doesn't exist - everyone is what they are - no one changes, and that's why those who claim that they have changed from gay to straight get caught having DL sex, or eventually come out again and say "sorry, it wasn't real." Those are just the people who yield to the pressure even after they escape it once, and go back in the closet for a while.
Regards.
Anonymous
What makes a person right or left handed, or ambidextrous? Answer that by looking at the complexity of creation and the diversity of the human species and maybe you'll get a clue as to why we are not all born the same. Your question is logical for someone born straight by the same complexity, but perhaps biased from the myths and beliefs imposed upon your mind since childhood, along with your own innate intuition of what feels right for you.
Choice and decision is only how we choose to follow what feels right. Sometimes, for reasons that are as complex as nature itself, people make the wrong choices and sometimes those choices are against the very way that nature made them.
But the way nature makes the complexity of man and the comparative freedom you have to make your own decisions, how you choose to accept and comprehend why others are born wired differently is for you to determine. The only thing I'll add to that is if you embrace the diversity of the world we all share, you'll be embracing life itself. And by embrace I mean accept, tolerate, understand or live and let live. In todays world man has many more pressing priorities rather than obsessing about another man's sexuality. If everything is mutual, consenting, safe and adult, who are any of us to judge?
BlowMe-O and Juliet
They don't choose. It's in their genetics.
There are more and more evidence that homosexuality is genetics rather than choosing. For example, Tegan and Sara are identical twins so their genetic makeup is the same. Both are gay. Then you have Jazzy Jennings who was born a boy but at a young age felt like he's really a girl stuck in a boy's body. That's not something that a little kid would choose which strongly suggests that it's genetics.
Sterling
People are born gay. It's a mental illness.
Will
You don't choose to be gay, People are born with the wrong hormones so as soon as they hit puberty they are not attracted to the other see but the same sex, they cannot help a d don't choose it