How Would You Respond to Your Grandparents If They Humiliate You?

Question

would you treat elders in your family the same as you would treat friends after they try to embarras you? if these insults were from friends I would never tolerate the disrespect I would retaliate instantly.

there has been a lot of success and failures in my life. Im at a point where Im happy with my path and gradual movement forward. Im starting to gain a lot of national attention and publicity in my field but I never talk about it when I travel to visit my family. I always do my best to remain humble and silent about my success to keep the family peace and bonding. my family never really supported me as a youth and i moved miles away from the country to a big city. back then it was never “do you enjoy your new things”… it was “how can you afford that”

my family and elders alway greet me with sincere warm love at first. but I’ve noticed a pattern over years when i visit where my grandparents wait until were in front of a group of family and they start to ask a series of personal questions that are designed to embarass me. The things they ask are never relevant to the general conversation but are things about my personal life and “losses” in my financial or love life.

they never ask positive questions like “hey hows that new six figure promotion you earned or I heard you donated money to that cancer charity”.. they never encourage my family loyalty like “that was great that you were the only one who could afford to pay for your mothers surgery last month”.

Anonymous · Answer

I understand EXACTLY how you feel. I'm the same way. Sure I have my faults but my grandparents never ever acknowledge the great things I've done. They ask me things like "So are you dating anyone? Well who would date you, anyway?" and "So are you improving your grades? I know you have many C's." And they ask this in front of as much people possible JUST to torture me. My parents don't care. I never get asked anything even remotely nice. How do I respond? I try so hard not to be snarky or rude because well they're old, and will probably die soon. I could be CRUEL if I wanted, but I don't because I should be the bigger person. I nod, smile, laugh, but in a way that they know I don't find them funny at all. Or retort with your own questions. To the question about my grades, I said something like "Oh yeah, I'm studying extra hard. How about you? I hear that the company's thinking about releasing you." They can't call me out for it because they, in a way, said the same thing.
Unfortunately with grandparents you got to act with care because once they die you will feel immense guilt which is unfair. But I do hope this helps : )

Blonde coffee · Answer

I can relate. I'm going on 20, not going to college, working at Walmart, no relationship, living at home with no real friends. I'm mocked every time I see my grandparents. Finally, it was enough and I told them if they have a problem with my life I'll just stop coming around. 
Sometimes you have to be firm, even with your grandparents. There's a difference between respecting your elders and letting them treat you like dirt. You can defend yourself. You don't deserve to be talked to like that. So just sit down and tell them how its making you feel.

Anonymous · Answer

Over the years I have simply cut off contact with a few toxic relatives, and believe me, the feeling of liberation has been immense!  Why subject yourself to the aggravation of dealing with people you don't like and who behave unacceptably towards you?

You are not required to have contact with relatives merely because they ARE relatives.  You can choose not to see them.  Find ways to see the relatives you like outside of the presence of your ridiculous grandparents.

They are not going to change; they are too old for that.  So, all you can do is decide not to bother with them any longer.  You'll need to be determined, because some of your other relatives might try to demand that you see them, but you are not required to give in to that.

? · Answer

I'm not seeing the problem.  Family always asks each other probing questions.  If you don't want to answer them, tell them you don't want to talk about it.  They aren't trying to humiliate you, grow up dude.

? · Answer

I do not want to change my present psychological trend. You need not brain-wash me. I will continue to respect my grand parents.

I will also continue to guide my grand children even if they pester me again and again with same questions. I mean I will strictly follow my family tradition. I  do  not want to deviate from the existing procedures in this regard.

How Would You Respond to Your Grandparents If They Humiliate You?

Related Questions

Trending Questions