Anne Effee thinks its selfish for a woman to leave a marriage that is making her unhappy. Do you agree?
There's this woman who wants to have children and her husband doesn't want children. She wants to leave her husband to find a man who would be willing to have children with her. Her current husband will no longer talk to her about the issue or seek couples therapy.
But Anne Effee thinks that this woman is selfish for leaving her husband. She thinks this woman doesn't value relationships and that she should force herself to suck it up and be miserable with him. Because that's what unselfish people do.
What do you think? Should this woman be forced to be with someone who makes her unhappy?
Foofa2021-04-03T17:11:47Z
Don't know who that is but children is a non negotiable situation. It's not like you can compromise and have just half a child. The only reason to stay in an unhappy marriage would be if you already had kids.
I have always told people that each person should lay out the three most important things to each of them. If there is a conflict in any of them don't get married. Be prepared to compromise on anything else. You haven't done this. But is this one of the three most important things? If it is then you have little choice but to leave. You should never have married. If it isn't then you would be selfish to pursue it further.
I don't know or care who Anne Effee is and I doubt "this woman" does either. people who don't want children make lousy parents, which is why people who do want children tend not to marry them
"Should this woman be forced to be with someone who makes her unhappy?"
No, but that's not what is happening. Marriage is a choice. It's a commitment. It's a behavior. Each married person is there voluntarily.
I believe it is selfish to misrepresent one's core basic values/life goals in order to get married. Too bad these two didn't have the maturity to be honest with one another before marrying. Or maybe they were and one changed their mind...who knows?
I do believe that if there are no children involved, it's better to end the marriage since there is a fundamental incompatibility that compromise isn't going to resolve in a way that satisfies both people.