Anne Effee thinks its selfish for a woman to leave a marriage that is making her unhappy. Do you agree?

Don't know who that is but children is a non negotiable situation. It's not like you can compromise and have just half a child. The only reason to stay in an unhappy marriage would be if you already had kids. 

This situation is a difficult one. 

IF he had said they would have kids and reneged at a later date, she would be entitled to feel "cheated" out of the life she expected to live with him.

IF he said "NO kids, not for me", and she married him anyway, hoping he would change his mind, then she is at fault in this situation. However if children are that important to her, and he really doesn't want any then they do need to part as they can't both be happy with that situation. 

Now if they didn't actually talk about children, whether to have them or not, and just expected the other to know what was important to them, then they are both equally at fault. That doesn't however solve their problems knowing it now. 

I have always told people that each person should lay out the three most important things to each of them.  If there is a conflict in any of them don't get married.  Be prepared to compromise on anything else.  You haven't done this.  But is this one of the three most important things?  If it is then you have little choice but to leave.  You should never have married.  If it isn't then you would be selfish to pursue it further.

Are you trying to tell me, that this woman married a man, NOT KNOWING if he wanted children or not? What kind of woman does that?

Did she make a vow to God to be with this man till death do her part? If she did, then she should keep her vow to God.

People should not be with people who make them unhappy. Life is too short. 

I don't know or care who Anne Effee is and I doubt "this woman" does either. people who don't want children make lousy parents, which is why people who do want children tend not to marry them

Anne Effee appears to be missing the point -- 

there should not have been any marriage in 

the first place if the two people had such 

different life goals. Regardless, it would be 

no more selfish of her to leave than it would 

be selfish of HIM to demand that she stay. 

Why isn't Anne Effee saying that he should 

have kids then "suck it up and be miserable 

with" her?

"Should this woman be forced to be with someone who makes her unhappy?"

No, but that's not what is happening.   Marriage is a choice.  It's a commitment.  It's a behavior.    Each married person is there voluntarily.

I believe it is selfish to misrepresent one's core basic values/life goals in order to get married.   Too bad these two didn't have the maturity to be honest with one another before marrying.   Or maybe they were and one changed their mind...who knows?

I do believe that if there are no children involved, it's better to end the marriage since there is a fundamental incompatibility that compromise isn't going to resolve in a way that satisfies both people. 

If a relationship isn't making you happy, leave, simple as that. You shouldn't be forced to stay in that situation. Also talk about these things BEFORE marriage, it's a big commitment, make sure you know what you're getting into.