Soo my gf and I recently got engaged after over 3 years together and were planning on marrying later this year. After I broke the news to my friends and family they were quite surprised to see I popped the question so soon but for the most part have been supportive. Of course a few have said I’m too young to marry and I should “live my life a little more” before settling down. Of course I understand we’re there coming from but I do love my gf very much and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. At the end of day I think I’m old enough to make this decision on my own but what do you guys think? Am I too young to get married?
Statistics on marriages involving people under 25 are pretty grim. So you face about an 88% chance of divorcing. But maybe you'll enjoy a few years of wedded bliss before you realize you maybe should have lived more life before settling down. Or you'll be in the minority of couples who marry too young but are still able to keep it together.
We fall madly in love, don’t we, thinking (feeling rather) that it will last forever and is enough for a serious relationship. However, it’s very hard to live on an emotional high for very long. Eventually we start to come down from the ecstasy, excitement, strong passions and desires, typically after around 18 months to three years (people vary of course). If couples are friends, discuss their mutual values, shared ambitions, interests, etc., in some depth (obviously there will be some differences, which help make relationships interesting), and make plans, work on their personal development, etc., this can develop into a long and wonderful relationship. If one feels insecure or low in self respect, it can make for a difficult partnership. It's easy to behave at our best when in love, but marriage, for example, requires a lot of self discipline, sacrifice, compromise and flexibility. If a strong friendship is not in place, the relationship will probably peter out eventually - or worse. Quite often we fall in love because we are lonely and allow ourselves to be won over by anyone who takes an interest in us. Thus we give away control to somebody else if we are not careful. This is another reason for taking things very slowly, and really getting to know someone before committing ourselves or getting too emotionally or sexually involved. Sex can be emotionally bonding, which is disastrous if the other things are not there: strong friendship, similar values and standards, common interests, etc.
At your age, I'd recommend a long engagement. Males in particular take some time to get to know their adult selves. You got together at around twenty, and your are probably both rather inexperienced. Still in college, perhaps.
the right age to get married is when you meet and are committed to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. My wife had just turned 19 and I was 20 when we married. We are coming up on 48 years together and have never regret it for a second. We have four children who married at 20, 24, and 28. The last is 31 and still single with no plans to marry in the foreseeable future. All three that are married have strong marriages.
It is true that couple who marry later in life tend to stay together longer. They are coming into the relationship more mature and usually better off financial (which does make a big difference.) But the right time to marry is when you meet that person you know you want to spend the rest of your life with.