Married for 11 years, love my wife,but sex is almost nonexistant,should I cheat?

All that romantic stuff, forget it. LISTEN TO THIS VITAL INFORMATION. When she decided to be head of the house, she also decided to grow the balls in the relationship. She feels like she has ultimate control. A relationship is part vulnerablity, part strength. You have to show the stength in this instance, and show her that she is still your beautiful wife who you will tag if you please. I'm not saying against her will. But be very aggressive of what you want from her, your relationship depends on it. If anything wrong happens, at least you were true to yourself. Don't try too hard! Just let the man inside loose. Oh yea and drop off your kids at someones house one weekend. Tell them you'll return the favor.

Its not uncommon, but it _will_ destroy your marriage if you don't find a way to deal with it together. To be honest, people don't really know the 'right' answer to this. One school of thought is that 'everybody' has a strong sex drive unless something is in the way. So some sort of resentment or guilt or who knows what or behaviour by your husband (less likely his not doing enough chores, more likely him not being wild and masculine enough) is making you not want sex, and if that can be addressed, your sex drive will return. Another school of thought is that its probably hormonal. There has been some 'success' with women using testosterone creams that appear to boost their sex drives. I put success in quotes because some people would argue there's no reason to assume people's sex drive _should_ be higher, but the users were happier and their relationships were no doubt more harmonious. Another school of thought is that you should 'accept sex as it is'. Sometimes you may want sex, and it can be the full blown thing with lots of foreplay and your favourite positions and whatever else gets both of you off. Other times, he wants sex, and you don't need it, and that's okay. Rather then trying to make it fireworks every time, if he wants sex, have a quickie! If you weren't in the mood, do you have to orgasm? If you can just take it as being something quick and fun, and he's not feeling that he's let you down somewhat, it might be less pressure and more fun for everyone. Another approach would be sort of like the above, but to say, hey, if you want sex monthly, have sex monthly. If he wants sex every other day, you give him hand/oral stimulation every other day. If you feel more comfortable with that when you're not in the mood, are cheerful and not grumpy about doing it, and he can understand that he _IS_ fully satisfying your needs, then this might work for you long term.

You sound like you love your wife very much. Try doing more romantic things for her. When the kids go to sleep try running a nice bubble bath for her let her relax. Afterward give her a full body massage. Try different things like this, I am not saying she will give "it" up every time.

As for you "needing" it 2/3 times a week I don't think so. Think about her out in the job field she is tired and probably sex is the last thing on her mind. I'm not saying that a stay at home Dad isn't tired either. I am a stay at home mom I know how the day goes. At the end of the day we want to have grown up conversations and actions. But hey, a hug a kiss from my man suites me just fine.

You know your not alone, and I think that men should start a support group, maybe the guys could figure out what to do. But you not alone there buddy. For some reason our ladies think it not important to them so you should not want sex either. You might try romancing her her. Sex start out side the bed room emotionally help her in the kitchen for what ever reason that can be a turn on. If she feels unappreciated or UN loved it all add up up to forget it. Do your part see if good becomes of it. I think if her heart is not in it, it not good either. Good luck hope you get thing back into your life, and its give and take.

If you value your relationship with your wife and love her, don't cheat. If you value and love your children, don't cheat. My father cheated on my mother multiple times during his almost 10-year marriage to her from what I can assume was a similar situation. It's never good for the kids, the wife always finds out in one way or another, and it's just bad news all around. Your wife is probably tired from work, or she may just not be "in the mood" due to stress, hormoans, or any medications she's on, including birth control. My advice would be to approach her during a low-stress time (Maybe on the weekend, or in the morning) and try to have an open discussion about your needs. Some couples found "scheduling" times for sex helps them enjoy that aspect of their love more frequently. Maybe try a romantic get-away for a weekend, even if it's renting a room at an upscale hotel in your own area! Cheating is selfish and detrimental...Not only to your kids and wife, but to yourself. Keep it in your pants and consult your wife. She'll probably want to work this out with you if you give her the opportunity!

Ask yourself this question..., if you were the one who wasn't giving any all the time and she was the one who wanted it all the time..., well..., would you honestly want her to cheat on you. Eleven years of marrage is a lot of time. Do you want to waste that in a matter of seconds. Talk to her about counciling or even a clean sex therepy class. What would it hurt!?! One thing to remember with her working all the time she may be a little bit more tireder when she comes home than you are. Conciling could help this. There are other things that can be done. Go on a trip..., just you two..., for you two. Like me..., I used to be too embarassed of my own self and I was more concerned of what he might of thought of me than helping him out. There could be a lot of things causing this problem. Be open and honest with her. Tell her how you feel. No., not that you want it all the time but about the things you have said here. Ask her if she would go to conciling..., what ever, to help your relationship!

Best of Luck!!!

Let me try this again. No, be very honest with her. Let her know how you feel (not about cheating though, it may come back to bite you in the butt) about things. Maybe you do need to spend more time with her after the kids are settled down. How old are they? But also on the other hand she needs to bend for you also, and understand that you are home with the kids all day and cater to your needs more. Anyway you look at it, something needs to happen and soon too. Feel free to email me and we can discuss this more.

No, do not cheat. It's not worth losing everything you love. I don't think that you'd want to betray her or your children. Ask yourself this...What if the tables were turned and her libido was stronger then yours and she was the one writing to us asking if she should cheat...How would you feel? Talk to her...find out if there's something holding her back. Did you think that maybe she doesn't like making the first move? Did you ever think that she could be angry with you about something? Talk to her and express your feelings to her. Not just about your need but everything. It's also a possiblility that she is insecure about herself...I mean there are a lot of resons but it takes communication. Talk to her...If you cheat, you'll never be able to replace her. In the mean time you have rosey and her five friends.

i say only as a last resort. see if you can get her to ask her doctor about it. If she wont then if she is the type that you can talk to her about anything then tell her if your not interested in sex then I am going to have to find it somewhere. I can really understand where you are coming from as I am married for 20 years and going through the same thing. 2 to 3 times a month if I am lucky. But she has agreed to work on it. guess we wait and see. good luck

You questioning whether you should or not is a clear indication that even though your needing the physical attention you don't really want to cheat. Don't cheat. Why throw 11 yrs down the drain for sex. Just try discussing it with her and telling her you just want that full connection with her and let her know you need her without sounding as though your just wanting the physical gratifcation. Good luck.

if you do cheat..........you could catch a STD and give it to her or you could take a chance of losing your kids in a custody battle. So cheating seems to be the "wrong" thing to do. Talk with her. Tell her what you want. If she cannot do that then tell her you want to be with someone who will give you sex as much as you want it. If she disagrees then move on dude. I would move on BEFORE going and having sex with someone else. Infidelity is not good. Especially in court when your whole life is on the record. So think long and hard about it before you do cheat. It will affect your kids in the long run.........so know talking is first, if she doesn't respond......leave her. Ask yourself this question: Can I go on like this forever??????????????