sexual images abound that challenge a man and his feelings when is this sinful if he is just seeing not acting

The flesh will tell you it's a "need" that isn't being gratified, then you will think it is justified to sin as long as it's not a "really bad" sin, such as adultery. Lust is just as much a sin as adultery. I take this stance from truths found in the bible.

If you find yourself falling into temptation (even if you are not technically "being unfaithful" [because technically you are being unfaithful if you are committing adultery in your heart]) fall upon God and ask him to give you the strength to deny that temptation. You seem to want to do what is right, I know that if you ask for strength and committ yourself to obedience, God will sustain you.

"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever."

I am clearly going to hell. I understand what it is to be a Christian. But honestly, I am a man. Man is made to have feelings for women. (We'll leave the gay topic out of this...I have nothing against someone's sexual orientation). Why do we have feelings for women just by pure physical attraction? Because we are built this way. My thought is God made man to have these feelings in order to reproduce. Now, somewhere along the line, Moses presented the Ten Commandments. One of these commandments speak of this topic here. Sorry, but when I look at a beautiful woman, I am admiring her for her beauty. I'm not checking her out and forgetting her....then running home to my wife because I'm thinking of my wife 100%. I don't believe anyone who says that. Think about it....who made you have that sudden feeling? That hot girl you were checking out. It's those thoughts that bring you to those feelings. So then, there you are sinning? Maybe so, God will judge me in the end. It's just like when you are with your spouse, and feelings are brought up and acts are performed. Hopefully, it's your wife that brought you to those feelings. But we are okay with that. Heaven forbid another girls beauty got you there. Sorry, I am a man. I function the way I was built. I'm civil, have morals, keep stong values and do my best to live a clean healthy life. I think you are worrying to much about living such a squeaky clean life. We are all sinners. We are all human too. Sorry to hear about your wife.

"taking care of an ill spouse who cant take care of physical needs. There is no chance of fulfillment"

that is your problem buddy. Right there. The whole no chance of fulfillment thing sounds scary. I take care of my son's Mother, she has MS, she has a husband as well. We all help. It is fulfilling. It is very fulfilling for my son's Mum. People care about her.

If your partner has no issue with you taking things out of the relationship go for it. Deal with you whole fulfillment issues first though.

Suffering is not a gift from god. Life is. We chose to suffer. It is all perception.

My take on Christianity is, the bible is a guide. The big rule in my opinion is "love one another", that includes yourself.

Make a choice you can live with. Make a choice that you do not fear taking to the grave.

From ONE woman's perspective:

I love my man with all my heart. If anything should happen to me that I could not physically satisfy him, it would be hard to take.

I suppose the resolution is communication. I would want my man to talk to me about this and get my feelings on it. Being the woman I am, I would not deny that he has physical needs that need to be met. I would leave discretion up to him if he choose that route. My happiness would be to see him happy. My responsibility would be to realize that my life has transistioned now to something different - something confining physically but not mentally or emotionally. I would have to force myself to re-direct my whole being to serve a different purpose and continue to love and respect my man as much as I believe he will me.

But you have to have an open mind for this. My God doesn't punish people for being the human beings He made them to be. I cannot point my finger at my man because of my past life before God moved into my heart. I will not do so now. I absolutely MUST be a better person than this. For my sake and for the sake of the man who I gave my heart and soul to.

*cry* I'm so sorry for the predicaments you both face. God Bless.

In normal circumstances, it would be regarded as sin of course. I believe that if you’re not ‘seeking out’ these images willfully and make a habit of it for release, then it is ok. Just don’t get too caught up with these thoughts and obsess over how your needs are not satisfied in this difficult situation. Try as much as you can to busy yourself and your mind with other things. Of course you’re human and at one point you will miss this physical intimacy…in those instances, you are as strong or as weak as you want to be. Just don’t engage in anything (in mind or body) where you feel guilty or remorse after it’s done. Otherwise, you’re placing yourself in a vicious circle of your own making. Remember that God is merciful, and from what you’re saying I can tell that you are thoughtful and honorable but just vulnerable. From that standpoint, I am sure you will make the right choices. God help you and your wife in these difficult times.

Yes it is sinful, because we are not to lust even with our minds. The only body we should be looking at is that of our spouse.

What you COULD do however, is talk to your spouse about spicing things up a bit. Have your spouse write you naughty letters, give you suggestive pictures, etc.

That way you can have images and things to read that can excite you ABOUT your spouse.

I suggest you visit www.themarriagebed.com

I'm confused. Last month you posted a question about being widowed and how not to take it too fast with the ladies but not let them get away.

Are you widowed or are you taking care of an ill spouse?

Trust your heart.

If you have needs, express them. Besides, surely there's some way your wife could be involved. You still love her right? And She still has needs right?

If actual intercourse is out, have you considered getting each other off in other ways?

She could watch you play with yourself, get her all excited, and then help her use a toy or something. Just a thought.

Yes, I am also a man who has a hard time with this, but the Bible gives us a tool to help us it is called prayer, and also the Bible tells us that no man is an island on to himself, so I would say you would need an accountability partner, someone who can help you remain faithful to the call of purity.

Jesus said that if you so much as look at someone lustfully, you have committed adultery in your heart. That line is pretty clear. Unfortunately, the temptation is always out there ... it's part of spiritual warfare. Fortunately, Jesus died for our sins and also this one is forgiven if you repent. God bless.

As a human being - an animal - it is not surprising that you get turned on by pics like that.

Clearly, you are not chasing porn. And since you only want your woman, you remain an honorable man.