Best line from the Simpsons?

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

-Ralph Wiggum

This may not qualify, but my favorite Simpsons episode was the one where Bart was passing out the hymn of the day to the church members. He had put the words "In The Garden of Eden" to the old iron-metal song "Inna Gadda Da Vida." Now, I don't voluntarily watch The Simpsons, but my son does. I had to laugh my a** off at that one.

Homer: Lisa would you like something to eat from the grill?

Lisa: Do you have anything that wasn’t bludgeon to death.

Homer looks in silences at Lisa with a blank stare on his face.

Homer: I think the Veal died of loneliness.

Mr. Klaw has my second favorite line.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm Beer

Mmmmmmmmmmmm Donuts

Apu: Homer, you are asleep at your post! Now go change the expiration dates on the dairy products!

Homer (meeting aliens): Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

[Santa's Little Helper goes off running with George Bush, leaving Homer all alone]

Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush.

Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer. The cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.

Homer: D'oh.

Homer:

"When will you Australians learn? In America we stopped using corporal punishment, and things have never been better! The streets are safe. Old people strut confidently through the darkest alleys. And the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer-programming abilities. So, like us, let your children run wild and free, because, as the old saying goes, "Let your children run wild and free."

Tramboploline

Lisa: Dad, people shouldn't kill animals.

Homer: But Lisa, if we couldn't kill animals, where would we get delicious things like bacon, ham, and pork chops?

Lisa: Dad, that all comes from one animal.

Homer: Oh, sure, some special MAGIC animal I suppose.

On second thought...I concede to ima report you. That WAS the best line.

After Homer ate the insanity pepper from the chili cook off and his face turned inside out and popped out on the back side he say "I think I dained my Bramage"

Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's OK in the Bible

Lisa: Really? Where?

Homer: Somewhere in the back.

Homer....

And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?" twist

there are so many great ones, but this one just stuck in my mind ...

I'll be back. You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever.

And when they get in, I'm back on the street! With all of my criminal buddies!

Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha!!

-- Sideshow Bob, ``Black Widower''