Will I ever stop putting blame on myself for my sisters suicide?

Let me start by saying I am truly sorry about your loss. I have never gone through anything that horrible, and I don't know how you can even talk about it this openly. It takes true courage to come out and ask for help. Hopefully you will find it. This is my advice, don't think about it as your fault. If you sent her a letter that said how much you loved her, then clearly she didn't do what she did because of something hateful that you said, because by no means is that at all hateful. If she was an alcoholic and a drug abuser, then that is probably the reason. She might have been drunk, she might have been high, you can never really know for sure, but I know for a fact that she did NOT commit suicide because of you! Now, all you can do is remember all of the good times that you had with her, and forget the bad things. Ask her for your forgiveness. Yes, I know that she's not here anymore, but she will always be with you. So talk to her and make sure that she knows that you love her and miss her with all of your heart. And again, I am deeply sorry for your loss, you have my most deepest sympathy.

It's not you fault that she's dead today. Things just happened the way they did.

Ask yourself just one question....If by any chance you knew in the slightest way that your not corresponding with her will lead her to killing herself....would you have still continued to stay away from her without helping her.

I know the answer is no. So you have no right to blame yourself for something you were not even aware of....regardless of the actual reason or cause of her death.

All I can conclude is that she was an addict and had become unstable and as a result could not really handle the situation as a sober person would have. Addicts usually become unpredictable and you should not really blame yourself for what's happened.

It's really sad about her but then you have a life of your own and your son to take care of and the more you depress yourself about it, the more it's also going to have a negative effect on the two of you.

So Just pray that God blesses her soul and makes it rest in peace and you too stop blaming yourself for something you're not responsible for.

All the best.

Listen to me here. What happened was not *at all* your fault. People do not commit suicide because somebody got into an argument with them or wasn't as nice as they could have been. People commit suicide because they are mentally ill. End of story.

Assuming what you said is the whole story, it sounds to me like you took reasonable action to protect yourself and your family from an abuser. You sister was an adult and responsible for her actions. If she wanted contact with you she could have cleaned up her act. Your family comes first. Your kids have nobody to protect them except you and so you had to do what you did. You had no choice.

All of that is fine, but I'm sure it doesn't make you feel any less guilty. Since 2 years has passed and you still can't get away from these feelings, you need to seek counselling. Find a *good* counsellor. Be picky. If you don't like one, dump him and get another. You need someone to help you sort through everything.

I'm very sorry this happened to you. It isn't remotely fair. I hope you can get help and be happy again.

You are NOT responsible for your sisters death. God gave all of us free will and you did the right thing by not speaking to her for the way she spoke to you and your parents. Also for your son's sake. You need to put this behind you and pray God will help you to accept the fact that it was not your fault. I will keep you in my prayers. I am a 58 year old mom who has not spoken to my son for 3 months now because of his drug doing and the way he gets my husband so upset when he is drunk or high. He was always stealing from us and I had to do something. I let him know I loved him but could not have him around anymore. Your sister died knowing you loved her and that is the most you owed her.You will be happy again if you want to be. Don't let the guilt swallow you up.

Her suicide is not your fault. She had alot of issues. She

was talking negative to her family. God told us to obey our

parents. He also told us if we didn't obey our paents then our life would be shortened on the earth. Understand this,

the devil had her mind. The devil had her soul. The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy. He took her joy, destroyed her mind, body and soul, then he killed her by

talking her into standing in front of a moving train. You see Satan preys on weak minded people. He doesn't want no one to go to heaven and serve God. He wants to get as many

souls as he can to take to hell with him. He's busy taking lives because he knows time is winding up for us. Jesus is

soon to return. It's time to stop blaming yourself and face

reality. Your sister didn't love herself. If she did then

she would still be here. honey when the devil has you, he has you until. Unless God has already put His mark on you,

then the devil doesn't have you. I know you miss your sister, but her nasty ways pushed everyone away. She took her own life when God didn't even call her name to come home. That's called dying before your time. Let God take away the hurt, the pain, and the tears. He wants to heal you. And make you better. Just cry to Jesus. He'll hear you.

it is not your fault! her being an alcoholic and a drug abuser is what made her do that. those things can make even the most peaceful person on earth do stuff. don't blame your self for what she did. feeling sorry is what your doing and thats alright but to blame is not alright. her life and your life on on separate paths and she chose the path to suicide.

You have got to stop balming yourself. I believe everything happens for a reason. She knew what she was doing, clearly life was to painful for her. BUT you told her you loved her, so she died knowing this. You really do need to see a counsellor, as this will continue to affect your and your family life until you get some sort of closure. You owe it to your kids to get the help you so desparetly need. Good luck.

many ppl go through hard times like these, and they end up blaming them selves. after a while, they will realize they couldn't have done ne thing about it ne way, but ppl r differant...im thinking u will probably stop blaming ur self...maybe u should c a counceler...not like u need "help" but they can help u kinda sort things out. :)

best of luck 2 u!

r u sure it was your fault maybe someone killed her a drug dealer or something i so sorry 4 your lose