Does she stay or does she go?

20 is old enough to set her free, whatever the consequences. If she was a full time student I could see letting her stay but since she chose part time then why should you be supporting her anyway? Even if she wasn't disrespectful. But the fact that she treats you like she does makes this a no brainer. You already knew that answer, you just didn't want to feel guilty. Don't.

WHAT?

oh NO she did'nt!

1. she is over 18 - time to grow up

2. no rent no full time school - no home here

3. no job no full time school - no money from me

4. no job no full time school no rent and adult - get your own phone

5. good for not seeing the boyfriend around

6. dropped a class without telling anyone (you and your insurance, not hers, and she IS an adult) causing you grief - no car usage (have fun getting to school) no phone ( you had no warning so she gets no warning - have it turned off immediately)

7. OH NO. your house your rules. change the locks and have her things outside waiting for her. you DO NOT have to deal with her childishness or feed into it. you also do not need her around if she does not want to CONTRIBUTE to the family. and speaking of which, why should you (your insurance and your house) and your husband (her father) be the only ones to be contributing to the family and she is not EXPECTED to - i'm sure the 12 & 9 year old at least do things like set the table, vacuum, take out or get together the trash, load dishwasher, or something to contribute ( and they probably ALSO go to school full time which means they are contributing MORE than she) . how sad.

8. sometimes 'sorry' doesn't cut it. actions speak louder than words.

9. her response is f you. for all that you do, her answer to that is f you? and she is still ALLOWED in YOUR HOME? i think not.

give me a moment and i can think of one more reason for her to go.

10 reasons to go from a total stranger. granted a total B stranger, but my mom didn't put up with crap and neither do i ( i didn't with my step daughters and i don't with my grandchildren ) and EVERYONE knows it.

time to go. bye-bye.

Time to kick the bird out of the nest. She needs to live on her own, take care of herself. It's a "sink-or-swim" way of teaching her the nasty behavior will not be tolerated. She is well past the age where you are legally responsible for her. Once she is out on her own, paying her own way without any help from you & your husband, she will learn what it is like to be a responsible adult. My parents did this to me years ago, and I am 36 now. It straightened me up real quick. Sure it was exciting for a while, all the freedom & such. But after the newness of it all, reality set in and I straightened up. I now have 2 children of my own, one who will be 16 in a few weeks and I now understand what my parents went through & how they felt when I gave them h@*%. It will be tough at first on everyone involved - downright stressful wondering if you did the right thing & what good father isn't going to worry about his "little girl" - that is normal. In the long run, everyone will be better off and the stress level will go down. It will take some getting used to for both her and both of you, but you all can do this. It is a good thing. Do not feel guilty about having her move out. You would be doing her more harm than good if you let her stay.

~Good luck & Best Wishes!

She is legally an adult. If she wants to do adult things & make adult decisions then she can get-to-steppin. Don't put up with the disrespect to your family...you have an obligation to the other 12 & 9 y.o. to raise them in a household free of drama; especially if the drama is being caused by a drama queen half-sister. Stop lending her money. Cut off the cell phone service. Inform the insurance company that she's no longer eligible for coverage. If she doesn't like it then she can either shape up & act right or get out. Do Not Put Up With It!! Change the locks if you have to. Set an ultimatum. Don't enable her behavior by thinking she's a child anymore. She needs to grow up.

The only way you are going to help this girl is by being tough and firm. Unfortunately, she's learning a little late in life. She obviously doesn't appreciate anything. She needs to learn that life isn't about accommodating her wants and needs. I know you don't want to throw her out, but maybe that's what she needs to have done in order to appreciate you guys a little. I'm sure she'll learn quickly how hard life could be, and will gain a new respect for the people that love her and try to help her. When she does, then let her move back home. Good luck.

it sounds like your husband is giving his responsibilty as a father to you. is he a wuss or something. She may be twenty but she sounds like she needs some professional help and her dad need to go with her. she shouldn't be talking that way to you or about your sons. She needs to be pointed in the right direction before she ruins everyones lives. You need to tell your husband that he must start being a father to her. She sounds unstable so you should be very patient and clever with her. don't let it go on any longer, she will have a difficult life later, she sounds very angry and she probaly doesn't even know why. Please , so many youths these days are tainted because of ignorance or laziness from the parents. save a child today, help her get her act together, teach her love and respect. I feel bad for you and your sons. It must really be hard for you. I hope you are able to talk to your boys so that you can explain that there is nothing wrong with them its her and that they can help also. I think yu know what I am trying to say here. Get that husband of yours off his *** and let himn start being a man and a father. god bless

If she's unhappy there must be something wrong or she jus thinks she cn get her way. As its your house she should have to abide by your rules plus she is old enough to leave home by around 4 years so if the issue cnt be resolved or talked out i think she should be given a small amount of time to find a place and leave. The phone should also be given bk as you paid for it.

YOU ARE THE PARENT. It also sounds like your husband is backing you up too. Good for you guys. I am 27 and I lived with my mom for a few years when my exhusband left me. I hated it but it was HER house and I had to abide by HER rules. First of all...

STOP PAYING HER BILLS. Go to the phone company and discontinue service or take her with you to remove your name.

Second, drop her from your insurance, or call them and explain the situation.

As for boys in her bedroom after you guys go to bed, I was 27 with a daughter, and an exhusband and NO BOYS WERE ALLOWED IN MY ROOM AT ANY TIME.

Do not lend her anymore money.

She don't like the rules, help her pack or pack her stuff for her.

Those children (yours) are her brothers and if she don't like them, tough. She's got to live with them. If she terrorizes them beyond the big sister role, punish her. Take something away from her, restrict her from using your vehicle, etc.

I know this sounds harsh but she has got to learn that life is something you experience, not something handed to you. I relish life because of the rules and morals instilled in me by my parents.

One more thing, where is her biological mom? If she is around, perhaps your step daughter can live with her. The problem with the world is there are not enough "mean moms". I'm mean, and proud of it. Proud of my mom for being "mean" too.

I had a neighbor like her, 30 years old and still mooched off parents for whatever she could and refused to change her ways to get along with her family.

She needs an ultimatum, I know she said F-U, but sometimes the best medicine for ppl like that is a good wake up call - a swift kick in the butt. Good luck!

Unfortunately....she needs a serious reality check, and you making her move out and take responsibility for both herself and her actions, is the only way she will get it.

I know it seems harsh, and your husband will have a rough time with it, but it really is for the best. She will have to learn (really fast!) about the real world and all that she took for granted.

It may take a long time, but I bet she'll eventually thank you for it.

I wish you the best of luck!