What do you think of this poem?

I think it is good because it is graphic, shows details that can be visualized and which belong to each other; the only jarring element is 'the innermost part of our souls' because there you have left your own pictures and, although not deliberately, used a cliché.

Your poem is much better than the one that follows oin one of the answers - by far.

it is nice. I don't know your age, but it shows some maturity of your soul. as a beginner poet, you have done very well. now, if I may show off, here is something I wrote a couple hours ago. you are, I think, the first to see it. Here it goes:

Lovers’ dreams

Night shares a lot of dreams

To those struck by moon’s shiny beams.

Dreams of love,

Brought by a small white dove.

Dreams of the great red rose,

In front of which time froze.

Dreams of raging fire,

Of a lover’s burning desire.

Lovers afar

Are brought together by the wish upon a star.

Dreamers walk through the hall of time,

Until the dawn’s first chime.

tell me what you think of it

i like

I like it, it's good. You're pretty talented.

hey its lovely, i like it.

i like it, but it's melancholy

Uhh... i dunno... it lacks something...