Me and my 11 year old butt heads!?

I don't have any brilliant advice or formal educational training, but I am a decent speller, and I have been since childhood. The only reason I had decent spelling skills is that I read constantly. I loved mysteries, sci-fi, action books, etc., and I picked up good spelling that way.

If your son is 11, he may be interested in Hardy Boys, Harry Potter, or similar, adolescent-themed fiction. If he's not into reading, try to encourage him to find books on a subject he likes. There's plenty of sports-related fiction for young readers. What about Sports Illustrated for kids? Or even comic books. Or the local paper.

If there's any way you can get him to read - offer some form of incentive to finish a book or two each month, let's say - his spelling and writing will improve.

Probably the best way would be to show him how you can break a word down into syllables and have him try to spell the words that way. It's how I learned to spell when I was 2 and 3, and I ended up winning every spelling bee in school. Try not to pressure him too hard though. There's some people that just don't care about it. But if you really want him to get better, you could use words you know he likes, like use words from his favorite comic books, or his favorite shows (characters' names and such). It'll keep him interested. Just break the words in syllables. You could also teach him how vowels make different sounds, like the short/long "a", etc...

Hope this helps you out some. =)

Researchers say you are either born a good speller or you are not. People who are not often feel the same way your son feels. Keep incourging him and letting him know you don't feel that way it will sink in eventually. Through having him repeat the spelling of the word when you are not working on spelling or have him write the spelling words down 5 times each. There are many ways explore them all don't give up.

You can get a natural ADHD product at your local health food store (or even a mulit-viatmin). Tell him it will help him with what is going on. A placebo effect could very well happen if he believes you.

Just a funny thought: Your question, at first glance, looked like it was calling your 11 year olds "butt-heads." Ha ha

He is at an age where he is striving for his independence and being told what to do or helped by his Mom is making him feel like a child and he is rebelling against it.

What I had to do with my son at that age after pulling my hair out for a month was to sit down and make up a chart of what I expected from him and tracked it daily and tried to focus on the rewards instead of the punishments and explained things like video games, television and playing with his friends are priveledges, not rights, and he needs to show he is responsible by earning them.

If he really is struggling with a subject, consider getting an older neighbor a hiring a tutor that is good in school and responsible, just a little bit older than him to help him with the school work. When it is a peer, especially one a bit older, they don't want to appear dumb and usually try harder as they are seeking peer approval.

Speak with his teacher and ask how consistent they are at this grade level with spelling corrections.

My son had a lot of trouble with spelling at that age because the teacher he had marked what they wrote but chose not to correct their spelling mistakes because she was only interested in content. He was confused and upset when he learned that words he thought were ok were actually misspelled.

It was hard for him to understand the rules for his spelling tests when his everyday work wasn't held to the same standard.

I'm not sure how you're helping him but what I found worked for us was to have my son work on his writing at the computer desk with spell check open so he could type in the words he was unsure of. Once he started getting into the habit of checking, I'd write something of my own and have trouble with some of the words and ask him to spell check. It was good for him to see that everyone needs a bit of help :)

Also, if he plays on the computer and goes messages his friends, that could cause a problem. My niece has horrible spelling because she uses instant messaging a lot and lapses into netspeak where vowels are dropped from the words and numbers replace letters. The habit has caused her problems at school. I've received a lot of e-mails from her that look like this: "b4 u go cn u snd me a pix"

consistancy is key. You review his work with him. If he spells the first 4 words right and spells the fifth wrong, make him start over. Repetitive actions will stick. You must also be prepared to tell your kid that YOU are the mother and he WILL do as you say even if it takes all night.

And a little reward and praise goes a long way for frustrated kids.

I think it might be partly the age,, My 11 yr old daughter is a nightmare right now. Of course she brings so much of it on herself it's not funny,, she's blonde and somewhere along the way figured out it got more attention to be the "dumb blonde" everyoen expects than to be the smart, funny, pretty young lady is can be.

As far as helping him with homework and not coming across as making him feel stupid, try asking him what you can do to help him. Tell him you see he's having trouble in spelling and you really want to help him do better becuase you think he will feel better about himself, and you would like to know how he thinks you could help him best?

Good luck

I have some simular problems with my 12 yr. old and 9 yr. old. They get very frustrated when they don't understand something. I have to make sure they have a quiet place to do their studies, with no interruptions or distractions. I always make sure they have a snack before we get started, too. When they start to get frustrated, we take a minute or two to get focused again and discuss it. It is getting a little better this school year. How is the teacher? Sometimes that has a great deal to do with it, too. Don't know if this helps any, but I wish you and your son luck! Tell him to stick with it and really praise him when he gets something done right, especially if he did it on his own!

You can only continue to try and perhaps just sit with him and tell him you're right there if he wants to ask you a question. Make goals for him to meet with small trips or rewards when he meets them. It will motivate him and perhaps make him more receptive to your help.

Another thing could be this. Everyone has different strengths. My daughter has major trouble in double digit subtraction and her father tried to help. After two weeks she was no better off so I attempted. After that night she was able to do triple digit subtraction. If he isn't getting anywhere with you, perhaps an uncle or an aunt or even a family friend would help him understand from a different perspective.