I'm starting to feel the bite of reality and the unsureness of reality...?

Our birth is nothing but our death begun. We are born with one foot in the cradle and one foot in the grave.

But what a wonderful time we have in between the birth and the grave. Think of the joy of being a good person, a good husband, a good father, a good son and all of the other wonderful things you have to offer.

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The main point of Absurdism is that all despair comes from trying to ascribe meaning to a meaningless world.

That's right - meaningless. You're absolutely right that reality might be completely pointless. But rather than get distressed by this, stop to think how liberating that is! Without meaning, without some grand design or scheme, we are free to live life as we see fit, without boundaries or limitations except that of our own imagination! We have no purpose to fulfill except our own! Sure, you could die and take yourself out of this miserable life. Or you could play along, trudge through the hardship, revel in the joyous times, and see how the game ends. :-)

I'm Discordian, not Jewish, so I can't help you there. But Discordians believe that chaos is the natural way of things, and that order is an illusion that helps us maintain the feeling of "control" in a world we have no control over. Life is play! Life is chaos! Life is absurd! Let us rejoice!

your question is interesting, creative and completely coherent, so it figures that you'd be a nice jewish boy. while i don't have a "jewish answer" i do have some suggestions that may be of help. take a look at the site http://www.sahajayoga.com/ actually, it's nonsectarian. what it provides are tools and "energies" which will help you meditate and thus alter your consciousness in a manner which will help you to transcend ordinary thought. ordinary thought leads to the questions you have raised. and while such thought and questions have some validity, the altered state will lead you to experiences where the roots of your questions will be "answered", almost experientially, in a most satisfactory and illuminating way. also, read *the complete idiot's guide to toltec wisdom*. it will explain to you how the human mind functions and the necessity for doing the work required to overcome its dysfunctional behaviors. probably 99% of the human race is unaware of the inherent dysfunction and pays the price by living in a more or less constant state of fear, confusion and misery. also presented are meditations and other techniques for helping to overcome those dysfunctions. oh, and on second thought, check out http://www.esotericsubjects.com/ and look into the material on carlo suares and on kaballah for some interesting thoughts. also you might be well advised to become involved in regular exercise and "energy work" such as tai chi, chi kung, yoga, reiki, etc. ultimately, when you have de toxified your "energy body" and learned how to cultivate and work with "internal energy/chi" you will discover the true answers. best of luck! ;-)

That's the problem with freewill, it has limits and it usually stay within the person, but not necessary.

Since everyone eventually dies, I guess one could think about life this way:

If I were to die this instance and whatever happens in afterlife does not affect this world, what-else would happen here on earth? Do I like that answer? If not, what am I willing to do to change it?

Realizing the ephemeral and fleeting quality of life is the first step to embracing it, and pulling out all the stops. If you don't have much time, and nothing really matters, why not enjoy it? Why not take risks? Why not experiment? Once you know that nothing lasts forever you can throw out old fears and live for the moment.

Physicist Edward Teller said: When you get to the end of all the light you know and its time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: Either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly. Hope this is meaningful to you, best from s.s.

Your asking some really great and profound questions here. May I refer you to one of the books attributed to Solomon in the Old Testament, Ecclesiastes, where he asks these very same questions. In fact in verse two of the first chapter he proclaims," Vanity of vanities,saith the Preacher, vanities of vanities; all is vanity." (KJV)

And it keeps getting better. At least read the first chapter of Ecclesiastes to see that you're not the first to ever ask these very same questions about the futility of life.

However, wise King Solomon, finally comes to the conclusion in chapter 12, verse 13, that to fear God and obey his commands is the duty of every person.

This isn't so much an answer as an interesting place to start looking. Have you seen the movie "Harold and Maude?" It grapples with similar questions.

Everybody lives, Everybody dies.

Will you mourn for all the injustices in the world? Can you carry that weight?

Your life is what you make it. You can be good or you can be bad.

Or you can be nothing.

It's your choice.

Nobody knows what tomorrow beholds so give it a chance.

Our life here is merely a stepping stone to what lies ahead. Use this life wisely and take nothing for granted and leave with no regrets, but live it to the fullest.