I need to smile on my birthday - can you help?

Wow you are going through a lot.

If feel you when it comes to needed support in a time of crisis and not getting it. Maybe you can postpone your birthday celebration until you feel a little better.

I personally watch the movie DEBS and it makes me feel better. It's a great lesbian funny movie.

Cheers to my fellow lesbian on her birthday may all her dreams come true!

Much love !

First of all, drinking is not the thing to do when something, or in this case, many things are weighing heavily on your mind. Turn on some 80's music and dance in front of the mirror (for me that would be hilarious). If that doesn't work out for you then call your g/f and tell her what you just told all of us, she will understand. We don't even know you and we care, that should say something. Happy Birthday, and I hope you feel better.

Hey, happy birthday!

Go do something silly and fun! Go to one of the restaurants that sing to you and bring out the dessert and embarrass you. Go out for some put-put or bowling. At night, take a long shower, get on some pjs, and have a slumber party with your gf, get a pint of your favourite ice cream and watch a funny comedy! Get the idea?!

Happy birthday. The following is an excerpt from my favorite book. I recommend you pick it up on your lunch hour, finish out your day, pick up your favorite liquor and comfort food on the way home, unplug the phone, and curl up in your favorite chair with it tonight.

Sister Mary headed through the night-time hospital with the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Darkness safely in her arms. She found a bassinet and laid him down in it. He gurgled. She gave him a tickle.

-- The antichrist is born

(Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

It'll make your day. I promise.

God says, you can't change what is or what will be. All you can do is remember that each day is a precious gift and enjoy it to the full. God says, it's time to buy yourself a present!, just make sure its' something that you can't afford and can live without! And if that doesn't help, try this ....

:-)

Okay, so there is a ventriliquist with his little dummy at a show making jokes at a local bar. He goes on and on for awhile about politics, then he starts to make a bunch of blonde jokes. Over and over and over. Finaly one blonde gets fed up and marches right up to the ventriliquist and says,"I am shocked and appaled at your jokes. It is ridiculous that you assume all blondes are stupid." The ventriliquist replies,"I am soo sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." To which the blonde says,"I wasn't talking to you. I'm talking to the jack ass sitting on your knee."

Does that help?

OK, if life sucks so much, why not really make it miserable and go for broke?

Go into a bar, find the biggest, baddest guy in there, and go up to him and say "I am a lesbian, and I want you to see if you can make me go straight- heres my phone number and address, be there in 20 minutes after you shower" then walk out the bar.

Either he's gonna stand you up (doubtfull- as this is the most masculine challenge any guy can get) or you're gonna end up straight, or maybe bi.

Rewatch Bush's State of the Union speech again... it'll keep you in stitches...

I think you should try to make amends with your girl. That would make me feel better. Relationship problems usually overweigh everything else, so try to patch that up first, if you can.

awww, you shouldn't be feeling like this on your birthday, its silly...

Call up your gf. and remind her that you are under a lot of stress- let it all out...

"Happy birthday" and many more....