How can a man come out on top during a divorce?

No one comes out on top in a divorce. Especially children. Anyone thinking they can is not only fooling themselves they are just adding more fuel to the fire. The logistics of divorce seem to add more anger and hurt to a situation that is already difficult. Children need their own representation so that custody is establish in their best interest not a battle to be fought and won in the courts with parents best interest at heart. Save yourself agony and do not worry about winning at a divorce, just worry about coming out somehat intact.

Its not just about who comes out on top, it's not a battle to be the best. Divorce is sh*t, I could change the question and say how does a women come out on top?

My divorce was hell and I have a 5yr old in the middle of it too. My ex signed the house over to me when we seperated infront of witnesses and everything was legally above board and then 12mths later he kicked off and threatened my child's security. I work full time and have one low income wage coming in, I pay all my bills and keep our roof over our heads safe, I also pay a childminder because I dont want to live of the state and want to provide for my child. He has two full time wages coming in to his new home and pays me peanuts towards the upbringing of his own flesh and blood. I had to write off his debts and hand over our endowmwnt I also have to make a final payment next summer. This may sound great to you but if you were a fly on a wall in my life and many other single mum's out there in the same boat you'd realise it's far from it.

I sincerely wish you all the best but again this is not about being the better player, you have child/children, there the ones that should be coming out on top not you and your wife.

By remembering that it is the children that are hurt the most during a divorce. Don't use them as a weapon of divorce or talk ill of each other to them. Do not play love me more games and hate your mother for this and that. No body wins in a divorce. Everyone will lose something.

Nobody EVER comes out "on top" during a divorce. It hurts everybody.

Just work toward as clean a break as possible. Give her everything she wants in exchange for a new start. Believe me, it'll be better in the long run.

Lots and LOTS of $$$$$ and one DAMN good lawyer.....

When children are involved in a divorce, the courts main concern is the best interest of the child....And with her not working.........you'll have fun with that!!! I would say expect HUGE child support payments.

And really, depending on the grounds of the divorce, that could really hurt.....Because if it were her that filed for it, if she's got a really good reason.....( no offence but...Adultry, spousal abuse, etc...) You'll have a wonderful time trying to make the judge favor you over her!!! Good luck!

Dude, I just got out of a 1 1/2 year battle and I won. You must stay true to your beliefs and DO NOT QUIT. The courts do favor the women so it is a pain. Get the best lawyer you can possibly get. I moved back in with my family and sold everything I had to do it though. Are you willing to do that?

Divorce a woman like me. I left my ex the house and 3 almost grown children. I worked part time and he worked full time, but I paid child support. I thought of my kids everytime I wrote out that check not my husband. He is still and always will be a bitter man, but I've gotten on with my life and don't have a problem with him. He still seems to hate me though. Just keep thinkinig of the kids and not your ex. She may always be a jerk, but if you treat your kids right, they will always love you no matter what she tells them about you.

Why does either of you have to come out "On Top", why can't it be mutual and equal?

My Xs and I have always walked away on decent terms. We still talk on a friendly basis.

Communication and Forgiveness are key:

FYI: pictures mean nothing in "No Fault States" Which GA and CA are; unless, of course there is a tremendous amount of money involved.

Depends on what state you are in. It is going to be hard unless she is cheating on you and you get pictures. I have a friend that is going through a divorce. He has temporary custody and is likely to get full custody. He has pictures so that helped tremendously. You may have to go to battle to prove her an unfit mother. Now days the courts look at who the primary care giver is. Good luck!

Good luck with that one....the court will take you for support...maybe even spousal support....if you can maintain, be nice....remember your child will be watching how you treat its mother...and that will enforce how women should be treated....it's a delicate matter, but if you can maintain communication....

Hopefully she will not be a non working mom for long...but if that is the way you wanted your children raised...what makes you think it should be different if you divorce... The children should not suffer because of it....

Harder to do that to say....good luck to you.....

be well...