What is the craziest thing your mother ever said to you?

Oh this is too hard. My mother is nuts. So are all of her sisters (too many to count!).

My mother is known for mixing things up when she talks, especially when she's mad. Once she yelled at my brother, "who do you think you are? I'm not your mother your mine!" I think my brother did the best he could not to totally crack up.

You can't say the "f" word until you are 40, because until that time in life, you haven't earned the right to say that word. Also, you can't curse AT ALL until you are 25. No reason for that one, but it's become a family tradition to walk up to her on your 25th bday and say all the bad ones, except for the "f" word. You still have 15 more years before you can use that one.

When I asked where babies came from (I was only about 3 mind you) she told me that we were beans (yes a BEAN!) in heaven. God puts name tags on each bean, like a Christmas gift, and when it's time he puts that bean in the mommies belly so it can grow. It's crazy, but it kind of makes sense in the general sense.

Oh! And she told my brother (who LOVED to wander off in the store as a child) that there were monster's in the store that will try to eat kids that don't stay with their parents. Dumb move on her part, because the fearless wonder ran off in the middle of Kmart looking for the monster.

Gotta love her. And God help my daughter because I come up with some doozies myself....

One afternoon my Mom and I were walking home from the library. She asked if I had found the information I was looking for. I was around ten years old at the time so I said "well, not really"...and I asked the age old question, "Mom, where do babies come from?" She replied, after some persuasion, "well you came from my butt" She was totally serious too and when I told her that the books I read said something else she just shrugged her shoulders. Now my Mom has said some crazy stuff, and still does, but this will always stick in my mind as the craziest!

My father bought a Kero Sun heater one winter when the power went out in our neighborhood, this was in the mid 1980's.

He gathered up my brother, my mother, the family dog and I and had us go into the living room with comforters to sleep.

He lit the Kero Sun heater, my mom panicked, she was swearing about the fumes and us inhaling them she finally screamed "Joe, we are all going to wake up dead in the morning!"

I said "How can anyone wake up dead?"

Well, she didnt think it was funny.

In Scary Movie 3 they said the same thing! I got a kick out of that!

My Mother-In-Law is extra impolite than loopy. She as soon as advised me... and I quote, "Get used to it Mouse when you consider that after a even as every person you already know and love will ultimately abandon you similar to your organic mother and father did" Well, I wager I do not ought to paint you a photograph excellent courting among me and sweetheart's mother.

Hahaha!! I've actually heard that before about the twins...

My mother always used to tell my brother and me that she had "eyes in the back of her head". I can remember using a fine tooth comb in her hair one morning while she slept, looking for the eyes. Never found them.

I was at my niece and nephew's birthday party earlier this year, which was at a park. My mom and her friends, which I call my Aunties, were sitting and chatting about who knows what when one of my Aunt's asks, "So, when are you going to have kids?" All of them are staring at me and I told her, "We're trying."

Anyway, before I knew it, they were all giving me advice on how to do it. One of my Aunt's told me that my husband and I should have sex on the floor!!! I couldn't believe they were ALL telling me this. They couldn't stop laughing. I was so embarrassed!

I have another Aunt who once asked my best friend when she and her husband were going to have a second child (her first child was 4 at the time). My best friend told her that she wasn't ready yet. My Aunt told her to "trick" her husband... "sabotage" were her exact words. My best friend couldn't believe what she was hearing, but laughed it off. I couldn't believe my Aunt even said that to her, but then again. I once was in my grandma's room (she was in her 80's at the time). That same aunt would ask her (jokingly) about a boyfriend and my grandma would tell her that he took her flower! Ewwww... GROSS!!!!

I have a crazy family!!! These thoughts make me cringe EVERY time!!!!

when i was about 10 i was sat on a wall in our back garden my mum came out and told me that if i fell of the wall and broke my legs dont come running to her

however i did fall of the wall but did not break my legs

My mom once asked me if all guys fart when they pee because she said my Dad always does....