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Ethical question about pets and children?

I lost my mother to Alzhemer's last year. She was my best friend and everything that a mother should be. When she died, she left behind a chihuahua. I promised her that I would take care of the dog. I now have a 16 month old son and the chihuahua has snapped at him a few times. He growls at my son and I know the best thing to do is give the dog away. He is a little old lady lap dog, not a family dog. I also feel that if I give the dog away, I'm going back on my word to my mother. I know that I'll feel guilty if and when the dog leaves. Part of me feels that the dog is my last connection to my mother, as stupid as that sounds. I want to set a good example for my son. I was raised that your word was your bond, but I can't have him bitten by the dog. Has anyone had a similar experience?

19 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    No, but I bet your mother, if she were here and completely cognitive, would not want you to sacrifice your child's safety for her dog. I would make a very serious effort to find a GREAT home without children for your dog. You will be happier and it sounds as if the dog would be happier as well.

  • Jamir
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    See if you can find an older person who could use a companion. Check a local senior center. That way you will be fulfilling your promise in some way (by making sure that the dog is taken care of) and putting the dog in a situation in which it will thrive.

    From my experience, chihuahuas frighten easily which may be what is causing it to snap at your child. This will only worsen as your child gets older and more mobile. Your son's well being is one of the most important, if not the most important, and you can't afford the risk.

  • 1 decade ago

    I've not had a similar experience HOWEVER, I have insight. In your question, you stated, "I promised her that I would take care of the dog." If putting the dog in your environment where he/she does not enjoy children and the little ones make the dog nervous enough to react.... are you taking care of the dog? Or, are you thinking you are taking care of the dog because it is in your home? If you put the dog in a friendly environment where it doesn't yap and nip at children, isn't that taking care of the dog? If you are looking out for the best interest of the pet, then it should be in an environment where it is happy and not stressed. Wouldn't your mother want the dog to be happy? Or would you mother want the dog to just be with you no matter what. What would your mother say? Just my two cents.

  • 1 decade ago

    You promised to take care of her dog, not put your son at risk. There are "no-kill" organizations who will find a home for the dog and you don't have to worry he'll be put to sleep. You can make a nice donation to the organization in your mother's honor.

    This way, you are fulfilling your promise: the dog will be taken care of. Even better, the dog may find a new "little old lady lap" to spend his days on.

    Don't wait for this dog to seriously injure your son to make the decision you know is right!

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  • sally
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    If your mom saw that her dog bit her grandchild, she would want you to do the right thing and give it to a home that has no children. This dog doesn't know children and you are putting your son in danger. I was bit by a dog in the face and still have a scar from it. My parents got rid of the dog so fast. I have good memories thinking that they did it to protect me. So sorry for your loss, my mom passed away too. She had a shitzu and my brother wanted to take him but felt guilty that he couldn' t care for it. You aren't going back on your word. You loved her. She would want you to protect your child, not her feelings for the dog. The dog isn't going to change. Protect your son and your mom will be proud.

  • 1 decade ago

    I have... we inherited our chocolate lab from my parents when they passed away a few years ago and I felt the same way you did about breaking a promise you made to your mom. One thing that I would recommend is taking the dog to obedience class or if you have it in your area a shy/aggressive dog class. and talk to the trainers about your situation. you certainly don't want your son to be bitten for sure. max our lab eventually came around, but then we were also dealing with a big dog rather than a small one and little kids are notorious for being unintentionally rough with small dogs. if all else fails call a chihuahua rescue group in your area to see if they can help find placement for him. don't be hard on yourself it it doesn't work out....you are still fulfilling your promise to your mom by finding her dog a good home, one where he will be happy being a lap dog.

    good luck to you!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    I agree with everyone here. Your mom would not want harm to come to her grandson. Get connected with a rescue organization in your area. They can help you find a fantastic home for your mom's dog.

    Also, think about the dog. He's not comfortable around your son and he snaps. Wouldn't he be much happier on an old lady's lap as the center of her universe?

  • 1 decade ago

    I understand you problem .

    Ask yourself this one question what really is more important my keeping this dog for the given reasons or my sons safety?

    Your mothers dog probably is not going to change and as you said he is an old lady lap dog.

    Would,nt it be nice if maybe you could find just the right companion for your mothers beloved pet and keep you son free from harm?

  • 1 decade ago

    I think your child's safety has to be your primary concern.

    Since you characterize the dog as an "old lady lap dog" maybe you could see if there's a nursing home in your area who wants the dog. Some of them keep pets because they are good for the patients/residents there. The dog would have plenty of love in a more sedate setting and you'd possibly be doing something nice for other Alzheimers patients who'd get the benefits of having a dog to pet. Maybe it's not exactly keeping your word to your mom, but it could be something she'd approve of...

  • 1 decade ago

    Keep your word to your mom, literally and ethically, by removing the dog from your home, an environment that threatens it and is a danger to your son. Your job is to find a place where your mom would have left her dog if she didn't have you. In the mean time, keep the dog away from your child at all times. Good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    Do you think that your mother would want her grandchild hurt by the dog? I'm guessing your answer will be no. I lost my mom 3 years ago and I can tell you from personal experience that your connection with your mother isn't in that dog, but in your heart.Find it a good home.

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