Am I using her, if I tell her I'm not what she needs in her life - but she still cooks and sex me?

OK. This is all my opinion.

So is she raping you everytime or are you allowing her to sleep with you and cook for you?

If you really DON'T want her around, tell her so. You don't work with her anymore so there's no need to be mindful of a workplace blow-up. If you feel she's "on your back" and you feel pressured, you need to cut ties. You really aren't doing her a favor by stringing her along. That is what you're doing because:

a. you don't want her aroung

b. her presence is making you feel bad about you and will cause you to resent her

If you ARE her friend, you will cut ties to help her to get over you. Maybe in the future you two will be friends again but if you do care, cut her loose.

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Well she may be a sweet lady but, if she were smart she wouldn't put herself in a position were she knows she will get hurt.. looks like she is a clinger... that's not good.. but then again she knew what she was getting herself into... Just because she helped you out.doesn't mean you can't tell her how you feel... have a talk with her and ask her what she is feeling towards you and tell her the truth about your feelings..thats the only way things will get solved...be honest... and tell her that you are not trying to hurt her feelings.

Stop sleeping with her. That would be your first solution. Then tell her that you want to be friends only--nothing more. Admit your wrong (that you kept sleeping with her even though you didn't want a serious relationship), and then move on. Sex is emotional and mental, not just physical. If you keep sleeping with her, you have her thinking that she means something to you. Yes you are using her, if you keep it up! Respect her and respect yourself--stop sleeping around! It's emotionally unhealthy, not to mention physically dangerous.

When I first read your title I thought "What a scum bag" but as I read your story, I began to change my views. I can't believe your "friend" wants to keep you tied to her even after you told her you didn't want anything serious. Now, for her to ask you if you used protection with the other women, that was the tip of the iceberg for me. She doesn't respect herself so why should you have any considerations for her. Use her, she gives women a bad name.

Many guys would give their eyetooth to have a gem like her. She takes good care of you. She does not get bothered about you sleeping around. Whoa! some of the guys reading this would be shaking their heads and saying, " Is this guy nuts?".

You have the cake and get to eat other cakes too!

You can't get better than this, man......

Some people are put into your lives for temporary times. It sounds like this is one of them. But it also sounds like she thrives on emoionally unstable men. If you've tried everything and being nice isnt working and you truely dont want her in your life the way it is now, the only way may be to be rude to her. She may get upset, but you cant be expected to be friends just because she wants it that way.

I don't think you are using her,not if you told her all along that all you wanted was sex.I really don't think there is a way to get her off your back and still keep the friendship.

What she is doing, she is ignoring your requests, she doesnt want to know that your better, she even seems insecure to be alone...she needs to listen because she is only making it worse for herself and for you too...cos in the end you will feel guilty and sorry for her and u will never get rid of her, i mean i know she is your friend and all but she needs to wake up...u need to say thank you for your support thank you for being there for me but now i need some alone time, just tell her the truth u need space and u dont want to rush anything, but it wont help if u keep letting her in u know wat i mean....u need to put ur foot down, and take control

There appears to be no reason to get rid of her. Where will u find such devoted person as a gf? May be she changes colours if and when she becomes ur wife.