How do you teach a 12 year old to express feelings with out.....?

wow, 12 is a very hard age, i have raised my son with the saying," that if you are the only one to benefit keep your mouth closed". we try to show him that it is important to have every emotion God gave us, but how you handle it is what is important. try not to respond to her if it is a rude response, ignore her completely, but respond when it is positive, sometimes they want the attention that comes with it. you can be angry without breaking things and yelling, you just have to teach her that the emotion is OK, but to deal with it in a more positive way.

i hope this helps,,kim

Teach her that you'll only listen when she uses appropriate terms and lanugage and respect. Let her know you'll respect her and her opinions, but ONLY if she respects yours first. If she starts to fly off the handle, then you put your hand up and tell her to stop right there and calm down before she continues.

If she can't verbally express herself without inappropriate terms or language, then I suggest keeping a notebook for times like this. She writes down her thoughts and feelings privately, then leaves the notebook for you to read and respond to in writing as well - without consequences! This way, the lines of communication are wide open (which, IMO, will benefit all of you in the long run) She can express her thoughts and opinions without openly offending the rest of the family.

Remember, girls in this age bracket usually hate or don't understand themselves, therefore they make everyone else around them miserable.

I suggest getting her a journal to write in,it helps to rid of some anger and express it in a constuctive way. You don't want to discourage her for having her own outlook on things just teach her how to do it respectively. Try the journal it has been a success for many

There is a formula: "I feel _________ when you do ________"

It's not the best formula, I don't think, because it is too easy to focus on the behavior of the other, and in fact, to slip off behavior and just insult the person. Still, it's a start. You are telling her to focus on describing how she feels, not what she thinks of another person. Tell her that taking responsiblity for yourself is all about focusing on your own actions, regardless of another person's.

I have said to my kids on occasion - that person's bad behavior is no excuse for yours. you are expected to conduct yourself well regardless of that person. therefore, let's focus on what you're doing. tell me about you, not them.

I recommend the book - how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk. awesome. a classic for decades, now.

Show her by example how to properly express feelings. It's going to be hard to change her, but if you love on her and gently correct her and tell her why not to "rudely" express herself, she might catch on.

explain to her how it works in the big world. (like when they grow up, you can't just tell your boss off) to make your point acknowledged at all, it has to properly phrased.

I know discipline is hard when you don't want to squash their personality.

I was Twelve a litle while ago, journal worked the best