Is it good to stay together for the kids?

It actually sounds like a decent situation but why don't you talk to her and ask what she thinks? You both need the physical and emotional contact that fuels all of us, but until you guys find another 'right' person, I'd say stay like you are.

You sound like this is something that can be discussed between you.

Yes, you would have to stay together to some extent for the kids so the most important thig of all is to keep what you have with her for peace of mind and for the kids.

It is good that you sound as if neither of you would hate the idea of moving on but you need to give the rest of your life the opportunity for it to happen. You can't stiffle yourself ina dying relationship, i think you have to salvage what you can of the situation and keep the best parts of it; some sort of peace, stability for the kids, and communication, communication, communication, so you can reach a consensus on how to plan your future and how to manage the kids.

It will be a terrible wrench on what you have and i think even preparation might not be enough to avoid things being said and done while life is tearing apart but it's necessary. As dental as it may be it's better now than in the future, when things have really come to a head and the situation has decayed past decency. Allowing the kids to be aware of infidelity without planning it is one such situation and having three or four people embroilled in the situation is much worse than starting and finishing with two.

Controlling their innocence and empowering them with knowledge and a chance to make crucial decisions will just be a small part in managing how this thing unfolds and how they will see you in years to come.

At least you have something that most other separating couples don't. It's not much but it's cause for hope.

the sincerest best wishes to you and family...

If you and your wife have both decided that your marriage is over and there's no possibility of reconciliation, then I think you need to end the relationship and move out. You don't stay in a marriage for the kids. You stay in a marriage because you love your spouse and are committed to making it work.

Also, what kind of example are you showing your kids? If they're small, you might fool them for a little while, but they'll catch up sooner than later. It's not healthy for them to see their mom and dad living and sleeping in the same room and also see them dating other people.

The right thing to do is separating/divorcing your spouse and assure your children that you both love them very much and the divorce has absolutely nothing to do with them. Good luck!

Tough one. You're not arguing in front of them - that's good. On the other hand, kids are pretty intuitive. When I finally got my divorce, my 12 yr. old told me he wished we had separated long before, because the atmosphere in the house was "uncomfortable". We thought we were pretty careful in front of them, but they knew things weren't right, and felt we were all walking on eggs shells. When we separated, it was like a huge weight was lifted off everyone! I also don't believe in having an affair while married. Don't use your spouse until "something better" comes along. End it first, then play if that's what you want. It doesn't set a good example for your children - in so many ways.

Absolutely not. Kids have a keen sense of what is going on. They see that your relationship has changed towards eachother. Kids need to see their parents' affection towards eachother. It makes them feel confident. I know that when I was younger, things changed with my parents and I WANTED my mom to leave. I loved my dad and still do today, but I am glad they split up. They were much happier apart then they were together. I don't feel as though my life has suffered over their situation. You hear that a lot that parents divorcing is a big bad thing, but in certain circumstances, it is what it best. Not only that, but why shouldn't you be happy yourself. That isn't fair to you. You deserve to be with someone who will love you the way you need to be loved. Try to stay on good terms with your wife so that it isn't hard for the kids in that way, but I say, do it. Good Luck!

i think of they do no longer understand what they actually placed the family members by way of. My mothers and dads are like that, they tremendously much divorced while i became 12 yet stayed because of the fact human beings. Then while the wars come, many circumstances the infants are expected to take aspects. sometimes my mothers and dads get alongside yet many times they're at each and every others throats, even after 40 years of marriage. the two could have been lots happier persons if that they had divorced while they explored the alternative.

Your children see the relationship between the two of you and then take that into their own relationship as adults. Are you comfortable with the way the children see your relationship? Is it healthy? I just recently divorced after 17 years and I have two young children. Our relationship sounded much like yours except my ex was a control freak to boot. The children are happier now that they see me happy. They do miss the old house and sometimes get sad that there mom and dad are apart but they are doing fine. IT REALLY HAS TO BE WORTH IT. If the kids are young its better. Teenagers take it the hardest. The younger they are the better they adapt.

You need to find out why you came together in the first place. You need to talk a lot. You have kids What kind of influence would the kids feel if the two of you do not get along. You must forget every thing and try to make a go for it. It is in the interest of all you folks

Ur still married would u really ALLOW her to get her freak on w/ someone else and u KNOW it?? thinking u do is one thing but Seeing is BELIEVING... Secondly what makes u think ur kids don't know that u are not LOVING towards each other kids know more than they let on...

Seeing u two has already made an impact on them as far as HOW RELATIONSHIPS should b...

U are better going ur separate ways and allowing ur kids to see u HAPPY and not Miserable...

If u are just going through the motions ur doing more damage than Good!

You may not know it, but the children do sense that something in your relationship is off. It is never a good idea to stay together "for the kids". Eventually, you will begin to resent one another, which could lead to a bitter divorce; this will hurt the kids much more. You are lucky that you and your spouse will be able to have an amicable divorce. Talk to her about it, and move on with your life. It will be better for you, better for her, and better for your kids.

MOVE ON.....even if you aren't fighting, kids can DEFINITELY sense a distance between both parents. It may affect future relationships for them, or give them the wrong idea about what a concrete relationship with a man or woman is. I'm glad you're handling it maturely, but if you two are seeking satisfaction from someone other than each other, than just move apart....it won't stay a secret from the kids forever. Someone may wind up getting sloppy. Not to mention....I'm sure to some degree it's bothering you and your significant other.