As a straight female I would like your honest opinions please?

No, darling, I really don't think anything "made" me gay. I was rather sexually ambigous at the time when I met my partner. She was the soul I was waiting for and she just happened to be in the body of a woman. We've been together for 26 years and I adore her.

I'm very sorry to hear that you and your friend. No, a person has to make their own choice about their sexuallity and nothing will make them *change* until they're ready. It's not you. He loves you for who you are but you're just not the right sex. My cousin fell in love with a gay man and unlike your gentleman, he treated her very badly so much so that she has chosen to live alone for the rest of her life. Be happy that you and he can love each other. Blessings on you both.

First off I want to console you on your loss. You will one day find a man who loves you and is completely attracted to YOU! Someday your prince will come, I am sure of it!

Speaking as a homosexual man, I know that I was born the way I am. There was no choice in the matter whatsoever. I don't think a man would wake up oneday and say "I think I want to be gay and we'll see how it goes." It doesn't work that way.

Many gays and lesbians would often agree that they felt somewhat 'different' at a very early age and not having any logical explanation for why they felt this way. I for one know for a fact that I never felt like I fit in, something was a bit off.

I discovered my homosexual feelings when I was about 13 or 14. This was when I had my first homosexual encounter. The feeling that I was having during the experience was that it 'felt right' to me and I knew I found what it was that made me feel out of sorts as a young boy.

I know in my heart that God created me to be the way that I am and I am thankful for being who I am. I am not ashamed at all for being homosexual.

Your boy friend is probably the best friend you could ever ask for. A gay man is a straight woman's best friend in case you didn't know. The greatest friendships of all can be between a gay male and a straight female. Being his friend and trying to be understanding is the best thing for the both of you right now. Good luck to both of you and have a Rainbow Day!!

Your question is very polite and courteous; thank you. We don't get nearly enough of those in this section...

I was born bisexual, and my friends that are gay or bi were also born that way. There is no abuse in my background and my home life was pretty strange, but I wouldn't say it had anything to do with who I am.

My best friend's mother recently came out as a lesbian after having been married for many years and raising two children...I spend a lot of time over at her place now, as I can talk to her when I can't talk to my own family, so I have a slight idea of where you're coming from.

I don't believe sexuality can be changed. You can lie about it, but you can't change it. However...it is possible to deeply love someone and *not* be sexually attracted to them. It sounds like you still have a very deep bond with this guy, which is rare and wonderful.

Firstly I'm very sorry for your loss and slow healing is the best kind of healing (emotionally and psychologically)

I'm a lesbian never even had an inkling of an attraction towards a man and even age 4 I was coming out with alternative points of view that my family found more funny than anything - because I was made that way. There was nothing that I or they did/didn't do. (I said age 4 I was going to marry a famous female TV presenter when I was older.)

I don't think you can 'change back' to being heterosexual if anything you could label yourself bi (if you are into labels)if you found a member of the opposite sex attractive while/after being in a gay relationship.

I think with some however sexuality is fluid (changing)and in others it is solid (fixed) - like myself I'm 27 and if I'm honest the thought of a man in a romance/sexual way makes me feel ill so I would say 100% I'm gay, I've always been gay and there is more chance of me sprouting wings and flying to the moon - than me finding a man attractive. So I would say my sexuality is fixed it's not going to change and I don't want it too.

I've never been abused in anyway, I had a father in my life til age 17 - so in one way I can't explain why I'm the way I am, I don't want it explained to extensively either, but I'm happy - which I always think is the most important thing.

It is such a contested/tricky issue I've known women who were married with kids for 15 years - declare they are gay and had always been gay but never wanted to admit it, a friend of mine who used to have one-night stands with men for years had a breakdown because she was trying to cure her secret 'gayness' that I as an out lesbian didn't 'see' (that was a shocker I can tell you), but then I am sure there are people who have been in gay relationships - then go on to get married have kids and be 'straight'.

It's such a complicated issue/aspect of life but then we all are complicated in different ways - aren't we, us funny humans.

With regard to your friend - talk to him. If you know each other that well be frank with him - this has hurt you in many ways. Maybe a bit of closure or distance for awhile is needed. But please do not torture yourself by blaming yourself - you have done nothing wrong.

Take care and stay strong.

This is awful, I can assure you it had nothing to do with you being pretty, hot, sexier, etc. Oh and you can love someone and have the up-most respect for them but you cant change who you are. I'm a butch lesbian and I feel I was born this way. I also know it would have been easy for me to get married and have kids. I just know I would have been empty inside. I guess by not following what my heart wanted. It doesn't mean I couldn't love a guy, I guess I just couldn't ever feel for a guy the way a woman makes me feel..... It doesn't have a lot to do with the shell of someone. It has everything to do with how a woman makes me feel...and what I feel for a woman....

Out of curiousity, did this man turn gay? Or was he gay all along? Because if he was gay all along and he knew it, that was a terrible thing he did to you. How could he say he loved you, if he knew one day he would leave you? I am sorry you had to go through that. Go find another man, there is no reason to be in love with someone who does not even like women.

Wow, I really feel for you. Good luck.

Well lets just say it isn't you for one. He should have been more up front but I am sure that because of society/family values he was not able to live his own life and instead did what he felt he had to do. Now in the process you and him worked out but there was just that one problem. A problem that isn't yours. So in summary you should still be his friend but understand it is his upbringing that led him down the wrong decision to not be honest with you in the first place. YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE BORN MOST TIMES!

Congratulations on finally being able to recover from something like that, I hope that you can move on and be happy.

To answer the questions, there really isn't one event or group of events that caused my sexuality to develop the way that it did. It just sorta happened. As to the other, no I don't think it's possible to change a fully developed sexuality, once it's in there good you are stuck with it for life.

I believe I was born gay.

It's no more possible to turn from gay to straight than it is the other way around.

The way society treats gays, some of us find it necessary to date (or even marry) the opposite sex to cover it up, which is sad, because obviously it hurts the unsuspecting partner when the gay person decides he/she can no longer hide it. If society were more accepting of homosexuality, this never would have happened, as he would have been honest with you from the start.

im sorry for your loss, time will heal..it wouldnt have mattered what you did, hes gay and nothing you say or do can ever change that...unfortunately you just have to move on. Its great that the 2 of you are still really good friends and love each other not many people have that when they break up...it hurts but it does get better...

good luck.....