How do you start over after a divorce..Serious answers only please...?

You might not be lonely, but you may have a feeling of apprehensiveness about the future. Take the time heal. Get plenty of rest and pamper yourself a bit. Spend time with the kids, but also spend time with yourself. Take in a movie, visit good friends, and make up for lost time with loved relatives.

When you're ready, you might venture out and start dating. Don't move too fast and don't let anyone push you into another relationship before you're ready. Holiday time can be good time, as well. A new year is coming, and you have a brand new life ahead of you. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and move on. There's life after divorce!

A lot of people feel kind of down this time of the year even if they are married and have big families. Just do the things you need to do to make this a happy time for your children. After the holidays, look for some things to do for yourself. If you like crafts, see if any of the stores have classes on something you would like to learn. Maybe you can learn something you can teach your children if they are old enough.

Just get involved with something for you, so you don't feel like every minute is taken up by your children. You do deserve some time for yourself, too!

You sound like a good mom, and your children will benefit from that. The years go by all too fast. Enjoy them while they are young, but do have a little life for you, too!

Happy holidays!

I've been there. Part of what you're feeling is seasonal - the holidays are just extra difficult. I felt like a failure as a parent because I couldn't afford as many Christmas presents because I had to pay the bills instead. It still feels that way sometimes.

You can usually predict when you will feel the worst - which means you can have a strategy for them. For me, I couldn't watch "chick flicks" for a while. I also couldn't allow myself to be alone on a holiday. I had to surround myself with people that were happy, and let their happiness surround me until I found it on my own.

But if you're waiting for the sadness to go away after the holidays, you'll likely be surprised when it doesn't. You are mourning the loss of your marriage; it gets easier over time.

Just remember that most of what you are missing is a fantasy - what you wished your life was like - and not reality. Keep focusing on your kids, live one day at a time. Find a venting partner or two that you can talk to.

Hang in there - It gets better. I promise.

The holidays can make you a bit lonely. I would say this to you. It's very important that you take the time to heal. A divorce has to be mourned much like a death. So give it some time. Spend as much time as you can with the kids so that they will have a sense of security. Then spend some time on you. Maybe go back to school or focus on getting a better job. Keep busy.

In the long run you will be fine.

The lonliness will go away after the holidays. Nows the time to really take a deep cleansing breath and start over. First, work out those emotions that have set in....shake it off...face it...acknowledge it, whatever it is that you need to do. Then find some thing that you enjoy. Go out with the kids. YOU ARE WHAT THEY NEED right now more than anything. Love on them hold them...etc... they are feeling emotions as well.

Next find something to get into that you like... a hobby, a group of girlfriends to hang out with... just enjoy being you! Rediscover YOU and what you like and don't like. Try new things... girl there is so much out there right now to learn and discover that you couldn't do before then.

But most importantly...don't dwell on the past. What's done is done and things will get better!!! Even as this year comes to a close...close out this chapter of your life and declare that 2007 is going to be a year of rediscovery and restoration for you and your children..... Clean slate...

Good Luck! :o)

I went through this same thing several years ago.I found out my ex was cheating.We separated in September and divorced shortly after.My kids stayed with me so I couldn't get out much.I went through the lonely phase but couldn't do much about it at the time.Not many fathers raise there family alone ,especially girls.Because of this it seemed that everyone was watching me so I chose to stay alone and just see friends when I got a chance.After a couple of years things got better,not everyone was watching so now I could date some.I still have that lonely feeling around the holidays but not as much.

The sad truth is you don't START OVER. There are no fresh starts. All you can do is move on. Your life is centered around your children and maybe for now that is all you can do. Its up to you to decide what is the center of your world. If you have a void fill it. How about family hiking trips or family picnics in the park, maybe a dog. The thing is it has always been your life and you are the one in charge of it. If you want more than juggle your life to get more out of it.

The holidays will make you feel more divorced. It's almost over! Hang in there!

It's great that your life revolves around yoru children!

Try to make time for yourself as well and to have social opportunities outside the normal mom-children activities.

Starting over? What about joining a gym, getting a new haircut, new wardrobe .... it;s time for teh new you!

Good luck

You can look over your life and do an assessment , this is the beginning of a process for you a long journey back to you . Depending on how long you were married everything revolved around your marriage, husband, kids, then you. Now is the time to look inwardly, and discover yourself again(smile). Then ask God to help you with any hurt , pain that there is, and he will gladly lead and guide you. Ask him to give you peace in every area of your life, that lonesome feeling will leave once you have peace in your life. I've been divorced for 14 years, and it is a process of discovering your faith, trust and hope in Christ and the minute you do that lonesome feeling will leave you, noone knows you like Christ, and discover who you are again, your hopes, dreams for the future.

The holidays do tend to increase an existing feeling of lonliness...spend time with friends/family if you can...take up a hobby, take a class, do volunteer work, etc...do things that will get you around people where you can socialize and meet others. That may help with the lonliness until you are ready to start dating at some point.

Don't worry...it DOES get easier...there is life after marriage...I've been there...it can be fabulous!