troubled and married?

I wish I knew, because I've got the same problem. Can't even shower without him letting our daughter come bang on the shower door. He offers to watch her, but the minute she gets fussy (she's also 1) he says, "oh, she wants you, I can't help".

I can honestly say some days I truly look forward to going to work because there I'm not mom (to both daughter and husband). Is there any way you could find something just to get out of the house for a bit each day? I know day care is expensive, and it's hard when money is tight, but you sound like you need you time.

I know many people will suggest talking to him, even though you've tried, and I'll say don't bother, because even if it changes things for a day or a week, it'll fall back into it's old pattern. I even tried not doing all the things around the house (that I could leave without it harming anyone) to see if he would start to pick up after himself, or do some laundry. Nope, just ended up in me picking up more and doing even bigger loads of laundry.

Is this reason to leave? I don't know. I guess it depends on how unhappy you are and whether or not he knows his behavior may be causing you this unhappiness.

It is dipsh*ts like him that give all men bad reputations. Start going to walmart or shopping when he gets home. Don't ENABLE him to get away with the responsibilities he has as a parent. If he is not there now for them, it will be the old "cats in the cradle" song where the dad was there but absent from his kids lives and when the dad gets older the kids want nothing to do with him.

I know exactly how you feel because currently, I am a stay at home seeking employment. Wife says why didn't you get any resumes out today and I say bc I was watching our 3rd all day. She can't do anything with all 3 and I am carting them all over the place--try renewing car license with 3 kids.

You have to train this bozo like you train a kid to use the potty or you will live a life of pure resentment. Just because they punch a clock doen't mean the day is over. It is just starting. And parenting involves BOTH parents in the house. Good luck to you.

I wish I had something to say that can help, but I am also in a situation like this one. That is exactly how my husband is with me and we have 2 children with one more on the way. It gets so frustrating knowing that he takes credit for everything, but all he does is work. It is understandable that going to work everyday is something big, but consistently cooking, cleaning, raising kids, and everything else that's comes with it is more work then most men realize, and it takes a toll on us after awhile. I have also thought about leaving my husband because of the same reasons. It is too much, and after all, we did not get ourselves pregnant, and when do we get a break from just being a parent? I always thought starting a family was about working together as a team, not one for everyone. I am sorry I wasn't much help, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in this type of thing, and if you ever need a stress reliever, feel free to instant message me if you would like. sneekygirl69@yahoo.com Good Luck with everything.

You job at home taking care of the kids etc....is a job, period. You are a mother who does a lot around the house but especially takes care of 2 kids. The 1 year old can't take of her/himself, they are helpless, that is why you are there, plus for the 7 year old too. So, that's your job as a 'mother' to do those things and for wife to keep the house in order.

Now, your husband is already doing the job that he needs to do to support you and the kids. To have money to pay bills, food, etc....And he is off the clock from his work that he does day after day after day, but just wants to come home to relax. But, he should help you with the kids by at least helping you put them to bed, take them baths, help with the dishes, or even take the trash out. Anotherwards, make an effort to help you when you ask for help. It does get overwhelming at times. He should watch the kids while you go for a walk or to the mall.

I think you two just need to sit down and talk about this, rather than getting on each others backs about who should do what.

Or, could it be that you two just need to have some time alone like getting a babysitter and go to dinner and watch a movie?

Otherwise do consider on getting these books, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands".

You two can enjoy your time with each other too, by giving each other a shoulder and back rub. Or, as a family time, go out for a walk or play some kind of board game together. Time is too short to not have fun! (smile)

Men don't tend to listen to what you say when you cry, yell or scream. Sit him down and in a matter of fact manner explain just what you said here. That you appreciate that he works hard but you do to. You need a break once in a while and that means peace from the kids. Do the two of you have date night away from the kids? You both need time away. Tell him a plan where you share responsibilities and both have time to yourself. Make this plan clear and simple. Write it down in list form if you must. You will do this at this time and he will do that at that time and so on. No confusion there. Tweak the list if he doesn't see it all your way. Compromise is the key. He helped you make the kids he can help raise them. Good Luck.

Just to play devil's advocate here for a sec. the poor guy did ask you to just tell him what to do and he will. Why not try writing out a list or a note of some kind and saying "you know I would really appreciate it if you could help out with these specific things". I'm sorry sweetie, but some/most men are like another kid. (sorry guys) Try that for a bit, and see if it actually makes a difference, if not.........make him sleep on the couch damit......he'll LOVE that. Just say "hey man I asked you to help out, now I'll just do it myself in here too, but thanks".

You are not alone. SOOOOO many husbands are like this, mine included. Husbands sometimes have to be treated like kids, even thought they are adults. Make him a list on paper of things that you need him to do and let him know when you need them to get done. If he does not follow through, "forget" some things to do on your "list" such as fixing him dinner or washing his clothes. One thing that really helped me was to leave my husband with both of our kids for one whole day while I ran errands all day to give him a taste of what it is like to be working truly FULL TIME. Give it a shot and see if it works. Good luck. :)

i would just leave get your keys and go turn your cell off and let him have to worry about feeding the kids and cleaning them but only do that if he is a good father and you trust him.i have done it 2 times and the time you will have to your self will be well worth it.i have 3 kids and im a stay at home mom and i need time to my self even if i have to take it and so do you

slow down where the fire its time to sat down and talk there dont seen no communication at all .we man dont really listen well as we sure or we dont understand and yell wont help asked someone to watch the kids and go have dinner and talk just remember your first kiss together and kids are blessing from god good luck i know i have 5 blessing run around the house

i am going to help with this one. tell the mfer to shut the fk up. grab a bag, and start your own life without the b==t==d. hows that