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baby shower after baby comes?

since we have decided not to find out the sex of the baby i have been considering the idea of having the baby shower after the baby is born but i remember with my first i was very wierd about a bunch of people being around a brand new baby and i am afraid i will be uncomfortable. has anyone been through this? am i setting myself up for disaster? should i just have a gender neutral shower beforehand instead? how long would you wait after the baby is born to have the shower?

Update:

my sister is throwing the shower, she just wants to know when it should be. I already have most of the larger things that i need, its mostly diapers, clothing, and newborn basics that i don't have yet

24 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I doubt you'll have the energy to deal with a shower after baby is born, especially since you have a child already. I know lots of people that have waited until after baby was born, but it's a personal choice. If you don't feel comfortable with all those people around a newborn, you probably won't enjoy yourself and will just be worrying all the time. If you have it before baby is here you won't have a newborn to take care of while you are trying to socailize with guests. You can always exchange gifts if you really want gender spcific colours.

  • 1 decade ago

    I would think that a gender neutral shower would be good. If you don't have a lot of the baby supplies left over from your first (crib, bath tub, etc.), it would be easier to get them before the baby comes, so you're not running out to get essentials. With my first, my baby shower was when my son was a month and a half old (and he was there), but that's because he was 9 weeks early and spent a month in the hospital. Now that he's six and I don't have a lot of the baby stuff left over, I'm hoping for a shower ahead of time with this pregnancy. If you were going to wait, I would say a month is fine. That way the baby's a little bigger and stronger to be around so many people for such a long time. Can I ask...were you planning on throwing your own shower or having someone throw it for you? If you don't know who is throwing it for you, you may not be able to request when it's going to take place.

  • 1 decade ago

    With my first, I had him early so it was before my scheduled shower. We just had it about a week after he was born. Was fine. If you feel uncomfortable about alot of people around your baby, you don't have to bring it to the shower. When you have it before the baby isn't there anyway. Well, in your belly but you know what I mean. I don't think I would do a gender neutral shower unless you want alot of green and yellow stuff. Maybe have just a diaper and wipes party now. And some of the bigger items you need that doesn't matter what sex the baby is. And then after you can have a clothes shower or something like that. Just a thought. Good luck and congrats

  • 1 decade ago

    It is best to have a gender neutral shower beforehand. Think about it, when the new baby arrives, will you have time to set aside for this affair. Newborns are enough to deal. Try to get as much as possible done before the baby arrives. Another factor, the baby is born, everyone wants to see. This is not a good idea with a "newborn". You'll be surprised, some people can be offended by this action. Take care of you baby shower now.

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  • 1 decade ago

    In my family, it is customary to wait until the baby is born to have the shower. We figure the reason that people come is because they want to see the new baby. If you're worried about people being around the new baby, just remind yourself ahead of time that newborns actually have your immune system for the first three to six months, so it will most likely not get sick from it! Just keep reminding yourself ahead of time that it will be OK! I did this for my first son and am having our second this summer and will do it again.

    My cousin recently had a baby and had a gender-neutral shower for both her and her husband's family and friends right after the baptism. I thought that was a great idea too! The last thing you want when you're tired with a new baby is too many gatherings to wear you out even more.

    I hope this helps you! Just remember not to stress yourself out and enjoy it! Good luck!

  • keonli
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    In my culture, a baby shower is normally given after the baby is born, but it's more like a blessing ceremony. I'm squeamish about having strangers (my in laws' friends) touching my newborn and have decided that I will be holding onto him the ENTIRE time! This takes place about 2 months after birth. However, if you are really scared of any impending disasters, then I suggest you simply throw a gender neutral shower...but usually a shower is thrown FOR you, not BY you. It's up to you really, but once you're a mother, do realize that you might not like the idea of crowds around your baby.

  • Episco
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Your best bet is to have the gender neutral shower before the baby is born. A good amount of baby items are gender neutral, and many people will probably get you gifts cards to buy the items that are gender specific.

    Babies shouldn't be around groups of people for AT LEAST one month after birth, and many doctors recommend 2 months. Having a bunch of people in your house is just asking to get your baby sick with some type of cold or flu....whatever bug hapens to be going around.

    Also alot of people are uncomfortable attending showers after the baby is born, because they assume you already have what you need (since the baby is already here), and feel like anything they give is just extra, and not necessarily needed.

  • gussie
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Almost any baby shower I've been to has been after the baby is born.Most people are aware of health issues near a newborn and either stay home or don't hold the baby. People enjoy looking at the baby and most respect the fact they may not be able to hold the baby.The shower activities(games,food and socializing etc) help to pass the time.It has been my experience that most young babies spend the shower sleeping contentedly while the celebration goes on. I would wait a month just to give mom and baby a chance to bond and develop a routine.As a point of information the gender results of an ultrasound are not guaranteed. (maybe with the 3D tests which are amazing).Congratulations on your new names , mommy and daddy.

  • 1 decade ago

    Having a gender neutral baby shower before the baby comes seems like the best way to do it. I would feel weird about a bunch of people surrounding me and my baby for hours too. I don't think I would have a baby shower after the baby is born simply because I would want to bond with my child in peace and surrounded by a small group of family members. Get it out of the way now, hehe.

  • I would have a neutral baby shower before the baby is born. With a newborn and an older child you will probably be too tired to enjoy it before. Plus at the shower you will get things that you may need when or soon after birth (newborn onesies, bedding for the crib, bouncer, etc) so you wouldn't have these things.

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