Turning over a new leaf & forgiveness?

Well, I will say that when we choose to abandon a pattern in our life, very often it seems as if it causes a lot of havoc on the way out. What is called for here is fortitude and commitment to behave in a new way. The people who you have known until now will be able to see by your actions and your attitude over time that you have changed - and the ones that are important in your life will stick by you (or come back). The others will make way for new people who support the new you to come into your life.

It can be very difficult to change and free yourself from outmoded self identifiers, even. Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom is equally valid in the mind and heart. Monitor your thoughts and treat yourself as a beloved child. Don't yell at yourself or berate yourself for the past or even current mistakes. Sometimes we make mistakes and it's no big deal. Sometimes it is a big deal and we do what we can to correct them or make up for them and then we move on - life goes on.

Here's a few tips on what will help you to feel God's forgiveness more quickly:

Visualisation - sit quietly for 3-5 minutes and try to get a clear picture of your own self in your mind. See yourself safe and happy, as clearly as you can and hold that image. Look into your own eyes and see peace. It can be hard to do this, but keep at it. This is a forgiveness exercise and it works on others too - if you are angry at or have hurt another, take a moment to see them in your mind also, smiling and happy.

Monitor your thoughts - pay attention to the mental chatter that goes on, and when you hear something that is mean, take note. Treat yourself as a beloved child in your mind and gently correct negative thoughts. You think "the vilest, lowliest creature on the planet" and you gently stop yourself and say "That is simply not true - I am a new man. I will be a good person for the rest of my life."

Those feelings won't change by themselves - you need to make them change. The hard work and mental vigilance to return to God's good graces is your punishment for wrong doing (simply because it is hard to change back) - undertake to do the work joyfully and steadfastly.

I will tell you that I have been able to make important changes in my personality this way, and it does not take long to see the results, but it's a lot like quitting cigarettes. The longer you stay off the bad habits the easier it is to stay off them and there is a real sense of empowerment to be able to make positive change in your life this way. I wish you all the best! xoxo!

Peace!

Other who knew him then may not accept the change...people often try to fit each other into old boxes. Married couples may not have actually seen the other in over 10 years. He has to accept that others want to pighole him into the old mold - and continue to do what is right (thereby breaking the mold over time).

As for punishment, once the lesson is learned - punishment would serve no purpose. There is no punishment...that is in his head because he can not forgive himself yet. He feels the need to be punished...which is totally unnecessary.

All is forgiven when you repent (really know it was wrong and so could not do it again). God does not hold grudges. As for his own mental situation...he must realize the past made him who he is. Perhaps it took going the wrong way first to understand the right way. When you learn to ride a bike, you do not begrudge yourself for the times you fell...you rejoice when you can ride the bike and the past failings are let go. He needs to let it go and start over with a clean slate (give himself a clean slate - as God already has).

God is ever merciful and accepts his children back after straying. Any further issues are in his head only and of his own design...not God's.

~ Eric Putkonen

Yes, sorrow for sin is good and it will eventually go away. You must be careful though that you do not turn towards scrupulosity because this sees sin everywhere where there is none. Part of this that you describe comes from pride which was probably a big contributor to the sin that you originally confessed. There is a stubbornness in us that hates to say we were so wrong and so we have a tough time saying we are sinners at all and we over compensate by seeing sin everywhere. Relax and become Gods little child who does not doubt that he is a sinner but, because he knows that his Father loves him and knows that his will is not into sinning, he will be forgiven the little stuff that is just human nature. Our good God knows about human nature very well. Become his little child.

The man seems to understand that God is indeed merciful and forgiving. He should better understand that when he repents of his sins and honestly seeks God and the son Jesus Christ he is forgiven his sins and brought into the family of Christ. Guilt is that which the devils uses to weaken your resolve and lead you back into sin. He should not heed the devils taunting but look to the Lord. What can the devil level against him when he has already been forgiven by the Lord.

(note: you only need seek forgiveness from the Lord above. No man may say you are forgiven or that you are not forgiven. When Jesus died upon the cross he made a connecting point for man to be with God. We are his children and are meant to have a direct relationship with him.)

God bless.

Ah...good question

And the key (word) answer lays within the question itself...

It's all about Belief!!! that person must forgive themselves if they wish to ever be forgiven and they must "believe" that forgiveness is possible.

In answer...yes, living a better life will eventually help to obtain mercy of past self.

However...I do not believe myself, in forgiveness of the church. It is a scapegoat for any negative to be repeated over and over so long as they think they can walk back into the church and be forgiven all over again.

Absolution of the soul starts in the heart and living a good and honest life...doing what we can for All.

Bless you again for the great question.

Yes, the new life dedicated to good works can eventually help you feel his mercy. Some sins take time to work them out of system. That's just life. As people around you see the changes in your life they will come to accept that you are a changed person. God loves you. He does not want you to feel guilty over past deed for which you have repented forever. In fact, most of time, it is our own fault that we hold on to the guilt as long as we do because God forgives the truly penitent and forgets.

Look for things that bring true joy and happiness. As you do that, those things will replace the things that brought you sorrow and despair.

God bless you.

When you ask for forgiveness, God will forgive you and the good thing about His forgiveness is that He forgets it. We are sometimes hard on ourselves because we can't forget the bad choices that we have made and the bad things that we have done. But God forgives you and He has forgotten about those things, so you press on toward good things and have faith that God loves you and has forgiven you.

Actually no. That is your conscience and maybe the voice of the evil one.

Once God has forgiven you, and you have turned your life around.its over. The bible says your sin, though they be red as scarlett...are now white as snow. God has forgotten them, so you must do so also.

Get free of the concern over "what brother Smith" might think, they didn't die for you! Plus, you can never please them, no matter what you do..better to get rid of that feeling right now.

Forgive yourself...God has!

i dont believe a priest/preacher can forgive you or tell you to say hail marys and that works to be forgiven ask God He will forgive you,the hard part is not Him but ourselves we must learn to forgive ourselves if He could forgive us after what He has done for usthere should be no way we cant forgive ourselves everyone has messed up no one has a patten on that

Of course. But it's a journey that continues, one day at a time. It takes time...and - practice. And a good sacramental Confession is not a one-time thing. It is the remedy given by Jesus Christ to His Church for post-Baptismal sin and is repeatable. Thank God! I go every month. We sin, we confess, we are forgiven.

All have sinned and come short of the glory of God...

But there is a remedy!!

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."