So does my poetry suck?

Danny Danny Danny,it would be great if you named your poem with your question here, let her decide herself, you obviously feel greatly towards her, and you are all about passion, that's also obvious, and its taken you some time to do, so enjoy the moment with her, have her give you a grade on it so to speak, let her actions speak louder than her words if she loves you too, go to a park, forest, river seaside, bring a blanket and a good bottle of red, picnic away your afternoon with her and then show her your poem, its time for romance my young friend

You have some definite talent, and this is your best line...

I meander round your thighs, your smell, your laugh.

That is very good, but alot of your other images are cliches. Try to be more original. If your girlfriend reads this and likes it, she's a keeper.

I think you're trying a little two hard. I am one of those people that enjoy (and write) repetative rhyme. I don't like it how every so often you run across a rhyme.

Sometimes you should also be a little more upfront with what you mean, you don't have to put so many metaphors.

As long as you understand what your talking about, it's good. It doesn't matter what you write, it matters how you say it. A bull s*** poem could be written but if it's said by the right person anybody could understand it.

I like the poem, but for treacle I would substitute honey. Treacle implies that something is overly sweet.

I like it but I think it would sound better if you take out the ands and replace them with commas.

It's a great poem, but it's not a great love poem. However, a great poem is better than a great love poem in my opinion.

I am not much a fan of poetry but I thought this was well written and emotional.

I think it's great. I'm sure she will as well. Thanks for sharing.

Not really. No art "sucks".

is it gross or romantic?

sorry but I don't like it