How can I find a lost sibling?

Let her find you.

When children are adopted they not only have all the issues related to growing up but they also have to process whatever they must about the fact that they've been adopted.

If adoptive families do things right children feel as safe and sure about their families and as much a part of their families as any biological child would. When children grown into teenagers they have the usual teenage issues, but sometimes those can be complicated with the adoption issue.

Some adopted children grow up wanting to know their biological families. Some have no interest. Some come from a biological family where there was a lot of ugliness in behavior and need to reach a certain level of maturity to be able to have their adopted and "normal" world shaken by learning ugly facts about what went on before they were adopted.

An adopted kid who may have gone through non-adoption-related teen issues as a teenager may still need a little extra time to mature even once he/she reaches 21. Even non-adopted children sometimes take a little longer to really mature.

It makes a difference, though, if your sister lived with you for five or six years and was then adopted as opposed to if she were adopted as an infant under two. If she has lived with you and would remember you she'd also remember the ugly stuff that went. If she were adopted as an infant learning any ugly stuff about her biological background could shake her world quite a bit. If she was adopted as an infant she has come to feel and think of her adopted parents as her only parents and family. Its one thing for a kid to know "in theory" that there is a biological family. Its another to actually see them in reallity and have faces to attach and information to digest and process.

These days adoption agencies and adoption reunion people make it possible for adopted children to search for their biological families. They may also make it possible for you to have them contact your sister and ask for a reunion.

If your sister is 25 years old or older you may want to do that. If she's younger than that you may be more unselfish and kind to her by waiting until she's older to try to contact her. If she was adopted through a state agency they can put you in contact with reunion people who have the records.

I have seen for myself, though, that if a kid is going through the usual teen stuff and trying to figure out the world and all that it may not be the time to throw in an Earth-shattering bunch of information about a family he/she hasn't thought much about for the most part. If the adopted child has time to grow up with the identity he's used to, and if he has time to develop curiosity and maturity about his biological family it is probably a better time for him to meet them. Meeting biological family members means a child had to almost immediately form a new identity and reconcile his adopted and biological roots. Its difficult for at least some people, and being mature can make it easier.

I have an adopted child. I have seen how it works. I never wanted to stop him from meeting his biological family, but I knew when he was contacted it would knock him for a loop because he wasn't quite mature enough. It did, and it took him a long time to iron out his identity and feelings and return to his old self and his old certainty about who his family is. Had another few years passed it would have been better for him.

Think of your sister and how old she is as you start to look for her, and if there's any chance she isn't completely mature consider holding off for another little while. Again, though, if she'd remember you that's a completely different thing.

Well I have not had any luck in finding my brother. We were both adopted out when we were very little. I have tired everything I know to try to find him I have even contacted the Maury Povich show lol So if you find anything good out please share. Good luck to you in your search.

Try zabbasearch.com............it is a free site

People Search is good but not free