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Need some curses?
A dear friend of mine, who has had nothing but romantic bad luck for a while, just got her heart ripped out--again--by a guy who really seemed like he was a good one. She is still too hurt and in love with him, so I am cursing him for her every so often. I'm mostly looking for funny stuff. The two I've used so far are "May his crotch become infested with fleas, and his arms be too short to scratch," and "May the desert winds blow a pi*sed off scorpion up his undershorts." I'm not looking for anything involving death, dismemberment, mangling, or anything equally horrible or possible. I'm looking for funny things to make her laugh and feel better. Any help would be appreciated.
To the person who asked why I think the curses work...duh. I DON'T THINK I'M ACTUALLY CURSING THE DIPSTICK WHO RIPPED HER HEART OUT TO HAVE FLEAS IN THE CROTCH. I'm trying to make my sad friend laugh. And yes, she does have an odd sense of humor. That's why we're still friends.
16 Answers
- MeLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
"may the bird of paradise fly up your nose
may your blank be caressed with a rubber hose
- NorhtLv 41 decade ago
May his foot grow out of his nose.
May all his hair grow on his ears.
May his future wife turn out to be a man.
May his naval always smell of bar toilet stall.
May all his teeth fall out, except the one with the toothache.
May the IRS disallow all of his deductions.
May he be ticketed for driving 56 in a 55.
May a surgeon accidently sew up his a** hole.
May the roof of his house blow off - onto his brand new car and his dog.
I hope this helps your friend cheer up with a little laugh. I think you are a good friend trying to do so. Tell her that there are many guys out there and this one is just a big poopy head.
Source(s): Some came from here: maxpages.com/fluffyduck/FuNnY_cUrSeS - SharkLv 71 decade ago
May your armpits be infested with the fleas of a thousand camels- and yes of course your arms too short.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
May his Brain develope skin cancer
His New Girlfriend cannot have sex
May his Money burn in Hell
Those aren't funny, but evil. Heres funny...
May his Crotch grow short.
May his face grow rincles and may him loose hair!!!
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
May his all his hair fall out of his head and grow back on his penis
or
May his next girlfriend fall asleep while giving him a ******** and accidently bite off his penis
- SykopupLv 51 decade ago
May the next girl he goes out with follow him to the restroom and use the urinal beside him.
- 1 decade ago
I don't have any curses for you, but if you really want to help your friend you should probably spend your time trying to help her forget about the guy, not reminding her what a jerk he is. There can be no healing with negative energy
- Anonymous1 decade ago
May his ice cream cone always have a hole in the bottom.
May his prostitute have gono-syphi-herpe-lees.
May he get a raging case of food poisoning at the height of a toilet paper shortage.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
May his sister's back never see the light of day.
- dee_the_geniusLv 71 decade ago
may his winky get a rash so severe that the burning pain makes him itch it until his fingernail become embedded in his own flesh
