How can I have any relationship with my mother, when we hate each other?

Sometimes staying away is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. Write her name on a piece of paper and put it in your ice cube tray and freeze it--put her "on ice." Journal your feelings about her, you can share it with a professional or not, but it helps to write about it. My son and I couldn't be in the same room for more than 5 minutes before arguments started, then he had a car accident. He was ok but I realized all the things he wasn't doing my way really didn't matter; I was so grateful he was alive. It changed me, not him, but we started to get along better. You are an adult, if you haven't gotten what you need from your mother stop trying to get it from her and start caring for yourself a lot more. Hopefully you will be able to see her with more mature eyes, as a woman who isn't perfect but deserving of respect and compassion as a fellow human being.

Gosh, that's really sad. I know everyone is not going to have the best made for tv type of mom, or relationship that's that tight with their parent. But, I feel that you should try because she is the only mom you have and no one else will really be able to take her place. Not only that, maybe you guys just don't know how to openly communicate with each other. Your mom shouldn't always feel like she should be the center of attention regardless of the issue. That's being narcissistic and that's so not cool. She should be trying to make you happy, congratulate and help ease the tension you might be facing because you are getting married. Then too, the wedding might be where all your tension is coming from. You probably don't mean to take it out on her or anyone else, but you probably just want things to ease up and it doesn't help when someone is adding pressure to what you already have, you know. I just hope that you guys can put past your issues at least so that you can have a nice wedding and she can be there to share the moment with you.

Hi, you don't say why you have this relationship with your Mother, this is always a reason why a relationship doesn't work. You know that quite often if two people have similar personalities, they clash and can't see that the other person is wrong. Hard to admit sometimes, but often true. If you can't stand being in the same room as your Mother and you have problems communicating face-to-face, try writing her a letter telling her how you are feeling. If you feel everything is all about her, why does your Mother feel like that? There has to be a reason, perhaps jealousy that her role in your life has diminished because you have a new partner. Communicate with her love, its important never to have regrets, lifeis way too short for that.

I don't think you can.I had a real bad relationship with my Mom she always put me down and never agreed with anything I did. After years of trying I just gave up after I realized that even though I wanted things to be better she did not. I just couldn't let her drag me down any more, it was hard but I had to let it go. Still when I see her at weddings and stuff it hurts but I know it wasn't my fault. You can not work things out with some one who doesn't want to work it out with you!

You have a relationship with your mother, it just isn't a good one.

You might consider ignoring her drama moments, acting as if they didn't exist. When she comes out of it, just mention that it is nice to have her back, then carry on with a decent conversation. She is trying to get attention, rewarding certain behaviors with attention, and removing attention for unwanted behaviour may work.

You can be blunt. "Sorry, Mom, I don't have time for the drama today. Can you just give me the executive summary of the story?" or

"Thank you for comming to the party. I placed you over with the Williamses. I hope you enjoy it. If you don't then we'll catch up on it later" If she starts to act up, the deflect it as best you can. Eventually, she may get the message.

dont feel bad,i have the same problem,only its my father im talking about..when i was a little girl,we got along great,as soon as i became an adult dads attitude about me changed,we were always at each others throats,i have a younger brother and dad always leaned towards him he was a better child,he was smarter and my dad is gung ho about my brother.now that i am a senor citizen and dad is 93 yrs old and in failing health i got the nastiest job of caring for him while my mother was being hospitalised for orthopedic surgery.,needless to say dad makes my life miserable,hes got alzheimers and hes taken off on me twice and literally drove me insane. my brother nice nice laid back in his dental office while i stood home doing daddy day care.

have a good calm chat with her one day. If things don't improve, you may have to just stay clear of each other for a while and I'm sure everything will work out eventually, for the good of all concerned. Meantime, try get an aunt (her sis?) to calm/talk with her about your relationship

you dont have to like your mother. it is tottally normal that you guys dont see eye to eye. just reconnect. call her once a week see how she is doing. you dont have to talk with her for more than 2 minutes.