Not trying to make anyone uncomfortable or get anyone mad..BUT..I have to ask...?

Well I'm not ashamed, and I don't hide it.

You're acting like you know us all, but it really sounds like you're talking about just one individual that you know.

I know no gay people who are ashamed of themselves, or down on themselves about it. Maybe if that's the case where you are you just have a negative social climate towards it.

But I know I am not confused or ashamed of myself, nor do I question myself. But mine is a very positive social climate, that encourages diversity, so there is no stigma attached to my sexual orientation. I know that's not the case for everyone though.

But it seems others feel a need to hide it because other people do not accept it, and they just want to fit it. Being different can suck in some places. So I assume that's where shame and confusion that some people feel comes from.

But also, look at fat people, lots of them are confused, ashamed, and question themselves just because they're fat. But the problem isn't theirs, it's a problem with the society they find themselves in.

So basically, external factors can make someone afraid of being themselves, so that might be what you're looking for.

But for myself, I have none of that, so I'm happy in life, and accept and love myself. I have to admit btw that I don't understand how, for some people, gay is somehow wrong. I mean you'd think the individual would be good or bad, not that their sexual orientation would magically define them as good or bad, or right or wrong, that's just weird.

But I digress, hope this helps you understand it.

It's scary coming out. It's a huge step in terms of developing yourself as a person, and you doesn't always know how people will react. A lot of closeted homosexuals are reluctant to come out because they're afraid that people won't accept them. The "norm" is generally considered to be heterosexuality, so people often take a long time to actually realise that they are homosexual. Many people are brought up in societies where homosexuals are a minority, and not really spoken about, so it often comes as a shock to realise that you're "that way". It's not that we think there's anything wrong with it, but when we're first discovering our sexuality, it's something new and it takes some getting used to. It's the same with any person - gay or straight - when they go through puberty. You start having all these complicated feelings that you don't fully understand yet, and so you feel confused. It doesn't mean that puberty isn't right, it's perfectly natural and everyone goes through it, but it is confusing and can sometimes cause people to feel embarrassed or even ashamed. Same with discovering your own homosexuality. But it gets better in time, most homosexuals eventually come to terms with their sexuality and have no major issues with it.

The sister that said "society has a long way to go" hit the nail on the head. Society is not very accepting of the homosexual lifestyle, in some cases its dangerous to be "out". Especially in the black community where family and church play a crucial role in black development. Hence the term "DL" or 'down-low'. This is where I believe shame becomes a factor in the lives of homosexual men and women.

I cant speak fro those that have ever questioned their sexuality. I have known of my sexual orientation since the age of six. I came out of the closet at 16. I no longer have anything to hide in my life. And neither should anyone! Pride goes much deeper than ones sexual preference. Pride also comes from an safe and accepting community and family. 'Confusion'

can only enter the equation though outside forces, such as community and family. And when the general consensus says, "Your going to hell", "You're not right", one has little choice but to hide and be ashamed.

We are not self contained oraganisms. People need acceptance. The shame of homosexual activity will end when it is no longer condemned in society. And society starts with the ones closest to you. Family and freinds.

So, whom can you accept today? Who's life can you make easier by just letting go of petty differences?

the fact is that many homosexuals don't think it's right, they've been raised strictly "christian" and have bben taught since they were born that the way they feel is a sin and will get them thrown into hell. No one ever said it was "right", or that it was "normal," we just want people to understand that it ISN'T BAD. And because we know that it isn't normal, there is always a risk that someone close to you won't accept it, and that's why there is fear and hiding. No one wnats to lose someone they love, especially for a stupid reason like telling the truth! Almost every GLBTTIQQ person that comes out loses someone close to them, it is sad but true. and even more sad is that people still do believe it's not right. they spend all their energy and mind power in coming out and they feel confidnt for a little while, and then it comes tearing back the moment anyone triesto tell them that they are a bad person just 'cause of who they love. the only thing people can do is try to stop the hate, accept people the way they are, ESCPECIALLYwhen it doesn't effect you one wy or the other.

Society. Even though the world has come along way from what it used to be, I think society still has a ways to go before homosexuals will truly feel accepted and safe. Lets face it, it's still a bit of a risk to come out these days. Hate crimes aren't too uncommon (just under reported), and if the wrong people find out about you, your well-being is in danger. Plus, until recent years, society (as a whole) had pretty much condemned homosexuality without a doubt, and if you were a part of society, you were expected to conform to it and agree with it's ideas, no matter how backwards they were. So, homosexuals (myself included) remained in the closet, confused and ashamed, because for the majority of their life, they were taught to hate, fear, and disagree with homosexuality, and accepting that they themselves were homosexuals was too much to ask, let alone even thinking about coming out of the closet and letting everyone else know. Now that I've come out, I've learned not to be ashamed of who I am, and I've learned that other peoples opinons about me don't matter as long as I'M feeling good about myself; but back in middle school (when I first realized I was gay), still being the fragile-minded boy who needed to fit in, no matter the cost, I never would have thought about it that way. It's not so much as I thought something was wrong with me as much as it was everybody ELSE would think that something was wrong with me. Pride is a great thing to have, but a hard thing to attain when everyone is rooting against who you are.

But I'm happy to say that I'm not ashamed or confused anymore, and I'm definitley proud in who I am. Loves,

~!*Mr. Izzy Fabulous: Diva in Training*!~

I'm not ashamed and I don't hide it. Now I can understand someone that might hide it if they felt threatened physically by ignorant people. That is often the case. Don't pretend you know what you would do in those shoes. If you mother told you she never wanted to see your face again because you were gay, would you be so quick to come out to others even if you knew it was right? Confusion often happens because it's not what everyone else around you is experiencing, not because of a feeling of wrongness.

Homosexuals aren't ashamed of the way they are. Some are just afraid to tell others b/c of the hatred and the bigotry in the world that comes from people such as yourself. So these emerging gay people or only afraid of bigots not the way they were made by god.

I am confused, what is it that I'm hiding? I'm not ashamed although it did take a while for me to come out. The conflict was between who I am and beleived to be right and the messages I got from people/ society around me. Finally I realized I can only be who I am and went for it. It's getting better.... Gays are coming out all over and it's getting closer to being recognized as being as normal as being straight; but we're not quite there yet.

I'm not ashamed here. I'm a beautiful lipstick Lesbian and I love woman. I would scream it from a mountain top. I don't care what people think. However there are those people who have nothing better to do than to be in our business and try to harm us or have something to say. Because of ignorant people in society we have to be careful; that doesn't mean we are ashamed. Big difference.

If you are talking about the first years of a young person life when they are ''in the closet' that is because there are so many people like you in the world that constantly say negative hateful things. Young people do not have the experience to stand up for themselves and tell people like you off so they hide. Eventually you get enough inner strength to 'come out' and that is when we can tell people like you to go......

well I think you get my drift, even a simple minded person like you should get the idea!