Constant verbal and physical abuse between brothers. Ages 10, 12, 14.?

First try to lay down the law. Also I suggest trying to get to the root of the problem(s).

Family therapy is also good. They can all go in and complain and fight but at the end of the session you will have someone objective to the situation be able to make better suggestions.

Wow tough position and I'm not sure this will help. I feel the same way that children no matter what should be respectful and I feel it's my place as the parent to enforce that. It's time to step up and demand the respect in your home. I would first clear out their rooms of all their toys, gadgets, electronics, etc. Strip them down the bear essentials and then sit them all down. Let them know that until further notice tv, videos, mp3, etc are off limits and if you need to you will also restrict them from doing or going anywhere. Set consequences when they engage in this behavior. Send them to their room, give them extra chores they have to complete before you will consider letting them do anything. Sometimes you have to use tough love or things will never change. Make sure you provide positive reinforcement for each child when they are doing good things or complying with out fussing. Give special incintive for appropriate behavior. You can even make a chart where they can earn checks for good behavior to earn back some of their items. You need to become the authority in your own home and not let them get away with the behavior. It's tiring work and it won't be easy for a while but if you can hang in there and be consistent hopefully you'll see some real positive changes.

well the first thing i say is PRAY, God can Handel any problem. then you need to have these boys see that they really love each. do this by taking them to the park together or some where they both will have a good time. this way they can have a great time with each other. if this works tell them how they were so happy with each other, and how it makes you feel when they fight. and tell them that they have to be an example for their 3 yr old brother.

Well I also have 4 boys who like to beat the crap out of each other. Boittom line. Lay down the LAW! YOU ARE THE LAW! If they don't like then, then they loose something important to them. If my boys disrespect me or their father or brothers then they loose a priviledge. I am constantly telling them that rules are rules and they are in control of their own lives, if they make good choises then they will have good lives..if they make bad choices then they will be miserable. I've learned that I have to teach them now to respect society and its rules or they will never make it in the *real world*. Good luck, I know you can do it.

So why have you TOLERATED this?! And why are you asking a bunch of strangers on the internet? YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ADULT! Not the boys. You have to follow through with your rules and be consistent, not just yammer with your mouth. Kids soon learn to ignore someone who is "all talk, no action."

They are that way because YOU made them that way! The only way their behavior will change is if you change.