How to deal with irrational prospective puppy families?

It sounds like you did your part and dealt with it the best you could. You are being fair and honest to the prospective buyers and if that lady couldn't handle it then it is her problem not yours. She was 4th on the list what did she expect, no litter of puppies is guaranteed to have a certain amount of males/females. And from the way she overreacted it is a good judge of her character and for the best she didn't get a puppy now. I wouldn't worry about her, she sounds like a basket case anyhow and not very mature in the way she handled her disappointment. Most people would not act so childishly like that.

I do not think you are in the wrong here it is good that you are not over breeding your dogs and it sounds like you should not let people know that they will get a certain sex of puppy. When you are about to have the litter let the top people on the list know what the last litter consisted of but be sure to let them know you can not control the gender of the puppies. Also when you are sending out letters to the other people who are getting puppies do not put all the contact information on the letter that was your big mistake. Be sure to keep each persons contact information to yourself. You may have broken a trust with the other people who are getting puppies. I don't know that she would have been a bad owner she just gets upset really easily. If your list is over 30 people long then they have to wait a year or more to get a puppy and after waiting so long I am sure it is sad to find out that you will have to wait another year.

I've been on both ends of that problem (more than once), and it is just the luck of the draw. If people don't understand that a breeder has no control of the puppy's gender, then they are probably not someone that I want to place a puppy with anyways.

Hasn't been all that long since I had to wait for a repeat breeding for a pup that I had a $3,000 (thats THREE THOUSAND DOLLAR) deposit on. (and worth every penny of it) The reality is if you want a pup of a specific gender from a specific breeding, expect to wait until it happens.

That just seems so irrational. It's nature. You can't control what the dog has. Anyone that signs up should be aware of that. You can't promise the sexes or amount of puppies born. If she can't understand that then she doesn't need your dogs. I think the fact that you have waiting lists before your dogs are born shows you've got a good reputation. So I think you should perhaps write her a letter and explain everything. That way you can get your side out without any fighting. I also would not allow her to have one of your dogs in the future. Good luck!

I feel sorry for you having to deal with such an irrational person. What she did only tarnished her own reputation. Ignore it and soon it will blow over. She couldn't adjust to a change, I hope she understood where she stood on the waiting list because there was no guarantee there would be enough females for her to get one. I am wondering if you offered her a female from next years' litter, that seems like the ethical thing to do, and, I hope you were very empathetic when you spoke with her, if you did that then you did all you could do. People are usually decisive on the sex they want so I can understand why she didn't go for a different sex when you offered it. She can find a dog elsewhere.

I would reply to the email explaining in no uncertain terms that any idiot knows you can't predetermine the sex of a puppy before birth.

Then write something about how careful you are about screening families and that she has now fallen off your list and you never give a puppy to someone who is so irrational and then tell her to get some help. She obviously needs it.

Stand up for yourself. She should not be allowed to treat anyone the way she is treating you.

I wouldn't worry about it. She has made a fool out of herself in front of lots of people. If any of your other families agree with what she says then they are as emotionally unintelligent as she is.

You could contact her and tell her that whilst she is entitled to her opinion, her behaviour was childish and irrational, and remind her that most people on that list probably didn't appreciate her obscene language, no matter what she had to tell them. But, frankly, I'd let it go, and warn other breeders you may know-- she is certainly not fit to own a dog, let alone raise a puppy.

As a PR move, you could send a BCC email to everyone who was on the receiving end of her spiteful email, apologising for her behaviour and the fact that they all had to witness foul language. (OK, so perhaps you aren't to blame, but you will seem the voice of reason and make her look even more pathetic.)

Finally, this is a good reason why you should always send out mass emails as BCC. Apart from protecting your clients' personal info, it would have prevented this vile outburst of obscenities from being emailed to all your clients :)

I know the feeling. Some people are just irational. I had a family that was interested in one of my sheltie pups once. While I was interveiwing them, their daughter was playing with the puppies...very roughly. I watched her and corrected her numerous times while her mother just frowned at me. After the kid dropped one of the puppies, (I was quick enough to catch him, thank goodness) I tookj them back in my room, and told them I didn't think ANY of my puppies would do well in their home. She asked me why, and I explained that the child was going to need to learn more about how to handle them properly and gently. She went off calling me vile names and said that I was only doing it because I was prejudiced against the adopted kid. (Like *I* knew she was adopted.) I had to call the police to remove her as she insisted I sell her that puppy or else she was going to file charges and burn my house down, and all sorts of delightful things. Needless to say her name went out to every sheltie breeder and rescue on my coast via e-mail lists.

Some people are just not rational, and you can't fix that. I'd probably explain to her as diplomatically as possible that you do NOT control what the good Lord delivers when it comes to the sex of the puppies. BCC all the other potential owners. Then what she says and does is her problem. Ignore her if she gets stupid. Mend fences as best you can if she tries to atone, but I doubt she'd EVER get one of my puppies after that display.

Hi sorry about the headaches & grief - but true! your not a puppy god , & accidents do happen -- if the potential new puppy owner was too phyco to realize that I'd NEVER sell her a puppy - she cant handel people let alone a puppy who may piddle in her bed - how will she react to that ??

I'd just leave it & cross her off your new owner list - return deposit if she left one ?

if she harasses you or anything about the matter or any others I'd just tell her you reconcidered placing ANY puppy with her & to Cease and Desist her behaviour towards you or authorrities/ your lawyer ( even if you don't have one ) will become involved.

usually with the mention of the L word people back off.

Good luck !

That woman is emotionally unstable. No way for you to tell, really. How can you decide how many female & male puppies you'll end up with?! She's nuts.

Maybe send out a letter to all your customers and point out that they have received a letter/email from a dissatisfied customer due to the fact that you cannot (of course) determine the number of puppies and the number of male/female puppies you end up with. The rational ones will get it, if they haven't already.