my sister in law hates me and now she plans to come to bday party for our kids?

any chance of moving party location? she can't stop by if she can't find you! :)

she sounds very rude and you might want to talk to her before hand, to avoid a fight in front of party guests. tell her look, this is for my son's party, i don't want to start something now. if all else fails, lock the doors.

your husband does need to talk to her, that was so rude of her. but do not pressure him too much, he might end up saying cruel things to her and you guys are better than that.

If you booked yours first, and if she knew that you did -- then she did it on purpose. IF she did this on purpose -- then this will be only one of the many instances that you will have to put up with things such as this. If you had already sent out your invites .. then go on with your party. Since she never comes to the party anyway - she won't be missed. If she sent out her invites before you sent your invites out -- it might present a problem. IF people received HER invites FIRST .. then be humble & see what it would take to get maybe the TIME changed. IF you sent out emails BEFORE she sent out HER invites -- then you have every right to stay as you are. If you stay as you are with the birth dates .. then don't fret about it. Just go have your party - and be as happy as you can .. don't let this SIL over-shadow this special time for you. If in-laws are concerned about coming - they will probably know exactly what happened if you sent out that email FIRST. And .. if you let things remain as they are - and not change a thing -- then next time she MIGHT not do this again.

I think this is something your husband needs to take care off... and I don't say that in a chauvinistic way. He's the head of the house and her brother... he should be out there defending you, his wife, from all this non-sense. I feel you're completely capable of doing this yet you already put a foot forward in the right direction by asking him to talk to her.

Don't let their words get in the way of your marriage, it's not worth it. At the end, by not paying attention to it and enjoying your marriage, being a good wife and definitely by having a good husband... they'll end up mad, irritated... whatever, while you're enjoying your life with your husband and your children.

Enjoy the party.

Ok...Well i completely understand where you are coming from ... about not liking a family member...sort of kind of thing...lol...well...does she know you heard her saying that....if your husband does which you said he does should say something....but my parents are divorced and am constantly being put through drama because my parents cant settle their differences...(if you read my question it will make sense).... and if they (your kids) like her and get along with her....then it can be hard on your kids....because they might not understand why you dont want her there .... think of it this way....you were divorced....your ex doesent like you and does not want you there for your kids b-day party......well you want go.....and the kids want you to go...but you wont be allowed to go because of your husband....because yall' dont get along.....and because you dont get along you dont get to go to the party.....but if you and your sister in law could put aside your differences for the children then it would be....ok....and i know your probably thinking omgah.....how can i do that ... your retarded...lol....well im not siding with her....i think she should not have done that....and both of you just need to put the children first.....im 14 and hope this made sense....if it didnt sorry.....i just wanted to help and i feel sorry you are going to be put in the prescence of someone you cant stand.....i know how it feels.....

Focus on the kids and not the retarded adult. I would just be the bigger person and act like nothing ever happened. Maybe say something like "I hope we can always be honest with each other". It sounds like she's dealing with her grief in an unhealthy way... If it continues you will have to call her out. Just make sure that it's in private and you are specific.

You know that is so wrong. I for one would totally ignore her except for small pleasantries the entire time she was at my home. I would also inform my husband that I was going to be pleasant but I would only be making small talk with her, and he could deal with her all by himself with the more serious interaction, that you had done nothing to cause this, and so if he wants her there, he can deal with her and her family.

YOU call her. YOU tell her that if she plans to stop in, that her visit would be limited to XX minutes. You determine what time frame that would be. Take a pro-active approach to this, leave your husband out of it. He doesn't have the problem with your SIL, YOU do. :)

And if she starts in on you about the time frame---tell her "you can always opt not to come" and leave it at that.

I think you should be the "bigger" person and to keep the peace, let her come. Just don't say anything to her unless she asks you a question. Answer her but don't chit chat. Don't make her feel uncomfortable, just act like she doesn't matter. Make you husband feel like you are the big one and you will make him proud to be your husband.

I can't imagine anyone relatives or not coming to a party uninvited!

tell her it is a week l8er, an go to the beach that week.